Ok boys, we know. Watching porn is probably part of your regular routine. But, most women rarely watch it, if at all.
Have you ever wondered why your lady doesn't spend hours scouring the internet looking for dirty movies like you do? Have you asked her to watch with you and have found it turns you on but leaves her cold? Here are some of the reasons why she doesn't like porn like you do....
Porn is Visual
Most porn is geared to appeal to the senses of the men in the world. A man's sexuality is cued by visual stimulation, while a woman's is more emotional. This is why the very little porn that is made for women is more story-line based, as opposed to arbitrary sex scenes. For women, it is more important that the sex be part of the bigger picture. In porn, foreplay is a foreign language and the actors jump straight into the (often extreme) sex.
Porn Actors are Ugly
Let's be honest: the only important part of the male anatomy in porn is the penis. Which is why there are very few attractive men in porn. In fact some male actors are down right ugly (Ron Jeremy, anyone?) And when it comes to female actors not many women out there appreciate the fake boobs, the collagen filled lips, and the stick thin figures.
Porn is Contrived
Women are less tolerant of the situations shown in porn. More often than not the people having sex on the screen don't even seem to like each other. The old "in and out" may be good enough for you, but it won't be for her. She will likely respond better to characters that actually seem to like each other. She won't be expecting Oscar worthy performances from these actors, but a little sexual tension can go a long way.
Porn is Degrading
There are somethings you have to watch in porn because your girlfriend would never agree to do them in real life, right? And it is probably those things she finds degrading and disgusting. Most women do not enjoy facials, rough anal, ATM, or gagging oral, so you watch porn to "get" those things.
Porn is Slutty
Women are not as encouraged as men are to be sexual. For fear of being called nasty names women are hesitant to show too much sex drive or to admit to getting pleasure from things like pornography. If she is reluctant to watch porn because she thinks its slutty, ease her into it with something more geared toward couples, or women.
She's Just Not That Into It
There are many things about porn that do not play to the woman's senses, they don't mesh with a woman's sexuality. Which is why many women don't watch porn. If you know what she likes and are willing to put in some effort you may just find something you can enjoy and share on screen. Just a suggestion: lean more towards erotica, it will play more to our sexuality.
....Why women prefer erotica....
You may be wondering what the difference is. Porn is a graphic sexual image, that conjures up an animalistic reaction. You'll like it or you won't. Erotica is also a graphic sexual image, but it has more to it than just the raw sex - be it artistic, be it passion, or it may parlay into a sexual fantasy you imagined for yourself. It is less in your face.
As I mentioned earlier we prefer story lines, foreplay and a bit of romance, which we don't get from traditional porn. Erotica gives that to us. And if we happen to like our erotica in book form you can imagine the scenarios anyway you like in your head. You can imagine yourself being there. You can see the stories in your mind, imagine them playing out, taking shape and unfolding. In porn, its all laid out for you. There is no imagination. It is already in your face.
Porn is generally made for men. It serves its purpose just fine for you. But erotica goes deeper than that. It appeals more to women. It is for women, often written by women.
There is a story, there is often a bit of romance, and there is definitely sexual tension. All these things cue directly to a woman's sexuality.
xoxo
L
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
New Things Men Don't Know About Women
Not necessarily related to the overall topic of this blog, but fun and entertaining just the same....
1) We get to pick the baby names, and it won't be your mother's maiden name. McNamara is a terrible name for a baby.
2) One of the most chivalrous things you can do is let us have the last piece of bacon.
3) Black coffee is sexy. Bringing us black coffee in bed is sexy too.
4) We kinda wish we could chest bump too.
5) "What would Chuck Norris Do?" is not a logical nor rational way of thinking.
6) Make your bed on a daily basis and change your sheets once a week. That odd goat-like smell you get will remind us of our smelly little brothers and will therefore mean you will be sleeping alone.
7) We like beer too, but don't let it take up too much room in our fridges. If you want chilled beer all the time get a mini fridge.
8) Flowers are great, but its not always just the flowers themselves. Giving us flowers shows you were thinking of us, and we love that.
9) When we ask how we look you lose points everytime you answer with "fine".
10) If we can make it through the entire first date without seeing what color your phone case is, there is a chance we may just fall in love.
11) If you call the movies "the cinema" we will laugh. And laugh some more.
12) We like being asked on a proper date.
13) Shoes always fit, which explains the constantly full closets.
14) Snuggling can fix just about anything. Really, it can.
15) If we're at a sports bar during a big game, don't hit on us. We're watching the game.
16) While the idea is a romantic one please don't write us poetry or music, unless writing is part of your regular job description.
17) We love that you are stronger than us and can reach stuff off the top shelf.
18) A deep voice. Some stubble. Yum.
xoxo
L
1) We get to pick the baby names, and it won't be your mother's maiden name. McNamara is a terrible name for a baby.
2) One of the most chivalrous things you can do is let us have the last piece of bacon.
3) Black coffee is sexy. Bringing us black coffee in bed is sexy too.
4) We kinda wish we could chest bump too.
5) "What would Chuck Norris Do?" is not a logical nor rational way of thinking.
6) Make your bed on a daily basis and change your sheets once a week. That odd goat-like smell you get will remind us of our smelly little brothers and will therefore mean you will be sleeping alone.
7) We like beer too, but don't let it take up too much room in our fridges. If you want chilled beer all the time get a mini fridge.
8) Flowers are great, but its not always just the flowers themselves. Giving us flowers shows you were thinking of us, and we love that.
9) When we ask how we look you lose points everytime you answer with "fine".
10) If we can make it through the entire first date without seeing what color your phone case is, there is a chance we may just fall in love.
11) If you call the movies "the cinema" we will laugh. And laugh some more.
12) We like being asked on a proper date.
13) Shoes always fit, which explains the constantly full closets.
14) Snuggling can fix just about anything. Really, it can.
15) If we're at a sports bar during a big game, don't hit on us. We're watching the game.
16) While the idea is a romantic one please don't write us poetry or music, unless writing is part of your regular job description.
17) We love that you are stronger than us and can reach stuff off the top shelf.
18) A deep voice. Some stubble. Yum.
xoxo
L
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Babes in Toy(less)land
That would be me. I'm toyless. Always have been. Don't always want to be.
I have friends that have them, and openly admit to having them and openly discuss having them and using them. I don't necessarily feel like I'm being left out of the conversation, but I do perhaps feel like I may be missing out on a little something-something when it comes to my solo sessions (oh c'mon...you know you do it too!).
And why haven't I grabbed the bull by the horns and gone in search of a toy of my very own? Well, you see, I'm too chicken shit to just wander into our local sex shop. Order online? Yeah, I'm convinced I'm going to be the poor sucker who gets the box on her doorstep labeled DILDO. I know I know, they all preach about discrete packaging....but what if something goes horribly wrong and THAT happens to me? I'd be mortified.
And the whole concept of toy shopping is intimidating. So many shapes, sizes, colors, sounds and funny names.....sensory overload! I have, however, been reading up on different toys, and how to go about procuring one of my very own. I came across a few great points, so here I am to share them with you...just in case there is someone else out there in the same toyless boat I'm in.
1) Find a store you like. The days of dimly lit, cavernous sex shops have gone by the wayside. Research it online. Familiarize yourself with their products: asking questions about that purple vibrator stands a good chance of being embarrassing (for you, not them) so get acquainted with their stuff first.
2) Decide what kind of stimulation you like. Most of the options out there fall into one of these categories: internal, external, dual. Most women need some external stimulation to orgasm so a dual may be a good first option.
3) Quality and Price. There is a wide array of options out there. Just know you don't have to break the bank to find a toy that makes you squeal. There are a few things to keep in mind, however: How quiet is the toy? (you don't want the roommates or the neighbours thinking you've suddenly taken a liking to late night woodworking projects); Does the toy come with a warranty? (yes, toys break. And the last thing you want is your toy breaking right before a killer orgasm); How is the toy powers? (is it battery operated? Does it plug into the wall? Is it rechargeable?). Figure out what would work best for you then go from there.
4) Have fun! Plan a solo date for you and your new toy. Pour yourself a glass of wine, and have fun!
This makes toy shopping seem slightly less daunting, though I can safely say I likely won't be venturing out on my own hunt any time soon (remember that thing about me being a chicken shit?). I'm thinking online will be the way to go for me, as soon as I get over that box-on-the-doorstep fear thing I've got going on.
Anyone else out there got any pointers for shopping for your first sex toy?
xoxo
L
I have friends that have them, and openly admit to having them and openly discuss having them and using them. I don't necessarily feel like I'm being left out of the conversation, but I do perhaps feel like I may be missing out on a little something-something when it comes to my solo sessions (oh c'mon...you know you do it too!).
And why haven't I grabbed the bull by the horns and gone in search of a toy of my very own? Well, you see, I'm too chicken shit to just wander into our local sex shop. Order online? Yeah, I'm convinced I'm going to be the poor sucker who gets the box on her doorstep labeled DILDO. I know I know, they all preach about discrete packaging....but what if something goes horribly wrong and THAT happens to me? I'd be mortified.
And the whole concept of toy shopping is intimidating. So many shapes, sizes, colors, sounds and funny names.....sensory overload! I have, however, been reading up on different toys, and how to go about procuring one of my very own. I came across a few great points, so here I am to share them with you...just in case there is someone else out there in the same toyless boat I'm in.
1) Find a store you like. The days of dimly lit, cavernous sex shops have gone by the wayside. Research it online. Familiarize yourself with their products: asking questions about that purple vibrator stands a good chance of being embarrassing (for you, not them) so get acquainted with their stuff first.
2) Decide what kind of stimulation you like. Most of the options out there fall into one of these categories: internal, external, dual. Most women need some external stimulation to orgasm so a dual may be a good first option.
3) Quality and Price. There is a wide array of options out there. Just know you don't have to break the bank to find a toy that makes you squeal. There are a few things to keep in mind, however: How quiet is the toy? (you don't want the roommates or the neighbours thinking you've suddenly taken a liking to late night woodworking projects); Does the toy come with a warranty? (yes, toys break. And the last thing you want is your toy breaking right before a killer orgasm); How is the toy powers? (is it battery operated? Does it plug into the wall? Is it rechargeable?). Figure out what would work best for you then go from there.
4) Have fun! Plan a solo date for you and your new toy. Pour yourself a glass of wine, and have fun!
This makes toy shopping seem slightly less daunting, though I can safely say I likely won't be venturing out on my own hunt any time soon (remember that thing about me being a chicken shit?). I'm thinking online will be the way to go for me, as soon as I get over that box-on-the-doorstep fear thing I've got going on.
Anyone else out there got any pointers for shopping for your first sex toy?
xoxo
L
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The low down on his down there parts
The penis. 'Tis a mysterious organ. What with all its super powers and whatnot. And chances are you are already a fan. But because you do not have that certain appendage yourself it can be hard to understand how to get - and keep - it happy. So, the more you understand how it works the more connected you'll both be.
There are a few things that penises would like us ladies to know. So, if we could give the penis a voice, this is what it would say:
"Ditch the ruler"
When a man first makes the big reveal it may not be love at first sight, but do keep in mind that most penises end up being about the same size in length when they are at attention, regardless of the size they are when soft. On average a flaccid penis is four inches, while a soldier at attention is six. Even those that are a bit smaller than the four catch up in the end.
"Try anything, I'm not that picky....I swear"
I'm sure your guy will appreciate whatever move you bust out, even if its a complicated move taken straight from that Kama Sutra book you hide in your nightstand. But you don't really have to break a sweat to get him off.
The penis responds dramatically to direct touch. It is delightfully sensitive, especially around the head, where Mother Nature cleverly placed the primary nerve endings that produce his arousal and orgasm. Exactly what kind of touch will do the trick depends widely on the guy. Some like a firm, even rough, touch, while others prefer a more gentle, rhythmic touch. Some enjoy the friction of a dry touch, while others prefer a more moist touch. The point is, the penis will be greatful for any kind of attention it receives. So don't be shy, experiment with different degrees of firmness and speed.
"You can help me when I'm nervous"
There isn't much more that can flatline between the sheets action than performance anxiety. And 9 times out of 10 the issue with this lies between his ears not his legs.
Self-doubt travels from the brain to the penis in record time. So whether you're with him for the first time (you're an unfamiliar partner) or he feels pressure to measure up to some hypothetical sexual standard, his little buddy may let him down.
If you sense your guy is starting to tense up, encourage him to tell you about it. Him knowing you're accepting of him will greatly help. You can do your part by calming him down, reassuring him and taking the pressure off. If that doesn't work try again, and again. (and again.)
"I like it hot"
So its a good thing most couples honeymoon in Hawaii and not Northern Siberia. When the penis gets hit with cold air or cold water (or even cool lube) the skin contracts, the scrotal sac shrinks and the testicals retract.
"I rise and shine"
Morning sex is a great way to bust out of your normal bedroom routine (not to knock a morning jog) and its a pretty great wake up call. It clears the tension and shakes the cob webs off you both. And the good news: your guy's penis is actually wired for it. A lot of men prefer morning sex because of their so called morning-wood. Be assured that after a morning roll in the hay you'll both like what you see in the mirror - and you've set right tone for the day!
xoxo
L
There are a few things that penises would like us ladies to know. So, if we could give the penis a voice, this is what it would say:
"Ditch the ruler"
When a man first makes the big reveal it may not be love at first sight, but do keep in mind that most penises end up being about the same size in length when they are at attention, regardless of the size they are when soft. On average a flaccid penis is four inches, while a soldier at attention is six. Even those that are a bit smaller than the four catch up in the end.
"Try anything, I'm not that picky....I swear"
I'm sure your guy will appreciate whatever move you bust out, even if its a complicated move taken straight from that Kama Sutra book you hide in your nightstand. But you don't really have to break a sweat to get him off.
The penis responds dramatically to direct touch. It is delightfully sensitive, especially around the head, where Mother Nature cleverly placed the primary nerve endings that produce his arousal and orgasm. Exactly what kind of touch will do the trick depends widely on the guy. Some like a firm, even rough, touch, while others prefer a more gentle, rhythmic touch. Some enjoy the friction of a dry touch, while others prefer a more moist touch. The point is, the penis will be greatful for any kind of attention it receives. So don't be shy, experiment with different degrees of firmness and speed.
"You can help me when I'm nervous"
There isn't much more that can flatline between the sheets action than performance anxiety. And 9 times out of 10 the issue with this lies between his ears not his legs.
Self-doubt travels from the brain to the penis in record time. So whether you're with him for the first time (you're an unfamiliar partner) or he feels pressure to measure up to some hypothetical sexual standard, his little buddy may let him down.
If you sense your guy is starting to tense up, encourage him to tell you about it. Him knowing you're accepting of him will greatly help. You can do your part by calming him down, reassuring him and taking the pressure off. If that doesn't work try again, and again. (and again.)
"I like it hot"
So its a good thing most couples honeymoon in Hawaii and not Northern Siberia. When the penis gets hit with cold air or cold water (or even cool lube) the skin contracts, the scrotal sac shrinks and the testicals retract.
"I rise and shine"
Morning sex is a great way to bust out of your normal bedroom routine (not to knock a morning jog) and its a pretty great wake up call. It clears the tension and shakes the cob webs off you both. And the good news: your guy's penis is actually wired for it. A lot of men prefer morning sex because of their so called morning-wood. Be assured that after a morning roll in the hay you'll both like what you see in the mirror - and you've set right tone for the day!
xoxo
L
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Keep It Hot
So you and your partner have been together for awhile. You would think that things in the sack would get better and hotter as time goes by, right? Um....not quite. In fact things are likely to go in the opposite direction as comfort sets in. Things tend to flatline after awhile for many couples. Want to learn how to put some bang back into banging? Keep reading....
Try Anything Once.
Some couples have a pact that nothing is off limits for trying at least once. So, why not give it a shot. Be open and willing. Make sure you let your partner know that they don't have to do it again after this time if they don't want to. And be willing to do the same when the roles reverse.
Novelty ignites passion and triggers your brain's response to release the horomones that are linked to romance and sex drive. So if you keep doing things that are new and different you stand a better chance of sustaining the romance.
Pump It Up.
Exercise is good for you in many ways. Vigorous activities release endorphines which boost your mood and relax you. In the 40mins following exercise your skin temperature is elevated making your more sensitive to touch. After exercise your brain and body are likely to be in a state of hyperarousal. So take advantage of it!
Game on.
Remember those teenage games of Truth or Dare and Sping the Bottle? Yeah, embrace them again. Only not quite so innocently this time. Studies have actually shown that silly games lead to crazy sex. Didn't catch that? Ok, I said being silly leads to CRAZY SEX. Get creative with your game closet. Use Scrabble points for 2-mins of "sexual favors". Most importantly, have fun with it!
Schedule It.
Ok, I'm not saying to schedule sex at 8:00 every Wednesday evening. What I am saying is make it a point to, maybe, spend an hour laying in bed together on a Sunday morning. You may just lay there and chat, or you may rock the sheets like a porn star. Either way, you're connecting. Sometimes a quickie is good, but sometimes it is also better to take the time to enjoy eachother.
Happy Sexing!
xoxo
L
Try Anything Once.
Some couples have a pact that nothing is off limits for trying at least once. So, why not give it a shot. Be open and willing. Make sure you let your partner know that they don't have to do it again after this time if they don't want to. And be willing to do the same when the roles reverse.
Novelty ignites passion and triggers your brain's response to release the horomones that are linked to romance and sex drive. So if you keep doing things that are new and different you stand a better chance of sustaining the romance.
Pump It Up.
Exercise is good for you in many ways. Vigorous activities release endorphines which boost your mood and relax you. In the 40mins following exercise your skin temperature is elevated making your more sensitive to touch. After exercise your brain and body are likely to be in a state of hyperarousal. So take advantage of it!
Game on.
Remember those teenage games of Truth or Dare and Sping the Bottle? Yeah, embrace them again. Only not quite so innocently this time. Studies have actually shown that silly games lead to crazy sex. Didn't catch that? Ok, I said being silly leads to CRAZY SEX. Get creative with your game closet. Use Scrabble points for 2-mins of "sexual favors". Most importantly, have fun with it!
Schedule It.
Ok, I'm not saying to schedule sex at 8:00 every Wednesday evening. What I am saying is make it a point to, maybe, spend an hour laying in bed together on a Sunday morning. You may just lay there and chat, or you may rock the sheets like a porn star. Either way, you're connecting. Sometimes a quickie is good, but sometimes it is also better to take the time to enjoy eachother.
Happy Sexing!
xoxo
L
Friday, August 19, 2011
Sexting
Guys, we know you like it. In length and in detail. We, however, are not as big of fans. You like to tell us EVERY. SINGLE. THING. you want to do to us and you want done to you. Believe me when I tell you the novelty of such messages will wear itself out by the time she pushes the 'send' button for the second time.
If you feel you must sext there are a few things to keep in mind:
If you feel you must sext there are a few things to keep in mind:
- Do not send her a message if you are unsure of her location. If you know she's in a board meeting, that would be a bad time. Visiting great aunt Agnes, also a bad time.
- Do not send her a message if you are unsure the gesture will be welcomed.
- Do not send her a message if you have not yet actually had sex together. Baaaaad idea.
- Descriptions are generally a better idea than images.
You take a risk when you decide to send a sext. You've now just stated your sexual intent to the girl you are pursuing. And it now has the potential to blow up in your face. So, before you take a pic of your member and send it to her, please keep reading for some tips on how to reduce the "blowing up in face" odds....
Don't sext anything you wouldn't actually say. The ability to communicate electronically has given the world a little extra bravado when it comes to what we say. It is easier to say something we normally wouldn't say via text or email than it would be to say it face to face. Do keep that in mind. If you can't/won't actually say it to her do not sext it. Remember, that message leaves a technological footprint and could come back to haunt you. (don't believe me, ask Brett Favre).
Do not send unsolicited sexts. Just because she gave you her number does not mean you now have free rein to lay it on. You have to gauge whether or not a lady is open to flirting just as you have to gauge her openness to sexting. Start off slowly. Flirt by text and gradually build up if she seems receptive. And do not sext her if you haven't sexed her in real life.
Use words, not pictures. Remember that blowing up in your face thing I mentioned? Yeah...don't forget it. You have a better chance if you just use your words. Trust me I do not want to see a pic of your junk flash across the screen of my phone (this is also where checking her location comes in handy. She really doesn't need or want the president of her company seeing that pop up either). Our sexuality is largely mental, less visual. We know you guys are visual creatures so therefore you think we are too. While we are and can be, it is more about the mental stimulation. Share your ideas about what we can do later when we're together, build up the anticipation. Don't just take pictures of your stuff and send them to us. This is why porn works for you and less for us. A picture of a woman's rack will do more for you than a pic of your pride and joy will do for us. We want the whole package, from your head to your toes.
Now, all that said I will humour your sexting attempts unless/until the pics of your manlihood start coming in, and/or it gets to be too vulgar. No, this isn't because it upsets my delicate lady senses. This is because it doesn't do much for me. Instead try sending a message like:
"I saw you leave the house in the skirt you know I like. And now I can't get you off my mind. Can't wait to see you later."
This tells me you've noticed me and you're now thinking about me. And it is also suggestive of what could happen when we get home later. THIS will likely get you further than sending a pic of your nether regions with a message saying "I want to fuck your brains out". See the difference? A slightly suggestive message goes further for us, and therefore for will have a better chance of going further for you.
xoxo
L
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Make-up Sex
You've had a long day at the office, spent far too long sitting in rush hour traffic. You walk through the door greeted by a dog that needs to pee, kids that need to be fed and a stack of bills that need to be paid. Then your partner goes and says or does something that pisses you off. It on top of everything you just dealt with and that needs to be dealt with throws you both into an argument of epic proportions.
Having make-up sex after a long, gut wrenching argument makes it all worthwhile. In fact it is a great way for couples to reconnect.
Think about it: you've laid all your cards on the table, you put it all out there. What could possibly be better than pure, raw, angry, animalistic sex. I bet that got your attention, didn't it?
The line between anger and sexual excitement is a thin one. For most people pent up aggression, like sexual frustration, needs to be let out every so often. So once she's unleashed her aggression why not make use of that energy and jump her bones.
Be warned, however, she may not want you to touch her right away. In fact, expect that reaction. She may even slap you in the face. If she does ask her if it makes her feel better. If she says yes, well, tell her to do it again....and if she does smack you again take it like a man. After she's done, or if she doesn't slap you, grab her face and kiss her hard and deeply. Don't let all her anger dissolve, though. You want her angry AND horny.
I do not, however, suggest picking a fight just so you can reap the benefits of reconciliation sex. However, the next time you two have a heated argument use some of that vulnerable, raw emotion in the bedroom. Man up. Take the bull by the horns and show her just how sorry you really are. Oh, the argument wasn't your fault? Show her anyway.
xoxo
L
Having make-up sex after a long, gut wrenching argument makes it all worthwhile. In fact it is a great way for couples to reconnect.
Think about it: you've laid all your cards on the table, you put it all out there. What could possibly be better than pure, raw, angry, animalistic sex. I bet that got your attention, didn't it?
The line between anger and sexual excitement is a thin one. For most people pent up aggression, like sexual frustration, needs to be let out every so often. So once she's unleashed her aggression why not make use of that energy and jump her bones.
Be warned, however, she may not want you to touch her right away. In fact, expect that reaction. She may even slap you in the face. If she does ask her if it makes her feel better. If she says yes, well, tell her to do it again....and if she does smack you again take it like a man. After she's done, or if she doesn't slap you, grab her face and kiss her hard and deeply. Don't let all her anger dissolve, though. You want her angry AND horny.
I do not, however, suggest picking a fight just so you can reap the benefits of reconciliation sex. However, the next time you two have a heated argument use some of that vulnerable, raw emotion in the bedroom. Man up. Take the bull by the horns and show her just how sorry you really are. Oh, the argument wasn't your fault? Show her anyway.
xoxo
L
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Movie Sex Myths
Remember how you've likely heard a dozen times "don't believe everything you read"? Well, don't believe everything you see on the big screen...
Pool sex is awesome and shower sex is possible. Both, false.
Pool sex is tricky because the water totally destroys any lubrication.
And shower sex is not nearly as easy as it looks in the movies. The floor is slippery so it is almost impossible to brace yourself against a wall. And that thing about water destroying lube? Also true for showers.
Women regularly scream and holler and praise the lord during the act means they love it.
Yes, sometimes we're loud during sex. Enthusiastically so. And it is sometimes because we're totally loving it. But sometimes it is more about making you happy and helping you along than it is about our own pleasure.
The penis is the key to her pleasure.
Um, no. If you think that all you need to please her is dangling between your legs you are going to leave her bored, sore and disappointed.
Sex is beautiful.
Ok look. Sex is great. But it is also messy and sometimes totally unexpected things happen. I'm talking unladylike noises, and sweat slippage. You get the idea.
Whipped cream bikinis and chocolate syrup are great addtions to sexual activities.
No. No they're not. At least not all the time. If you're into sticky sex, great. But the gooey clean up afterwards does not sound appealing to me at all.
Women want to cuddle for hours after.
Ok, most of us want cuddling afterwards. But really the first thing on most of our minds is finding our panties (where did they go anyway?) and running to the bathroom.
xoxo
L
Pool sex is awesome and shower sex is possible. Both, false.
Pool sex is tricky because the water totally destroys any lubrication.
And shower sex is not nearly as easy as it looks in the movies. The floor is slippery so it is almost impossible to brace yourself against a wall. And that thing about water destroying lube? Also true for showers.
Women regularly scream and holler and praise the lord during the act means they love it.
Yes, sometimes we're loud during sex. Enthusiastically so. And it is sometimes because we're totally loving it. But sometimes it is more about making you happy and helping you along than it is about our own pleasure.
The penis is the key to her pleasure.
Um, no. If you think that all you need to please her is dangling between your legs you are going to leave her bored, sore and disappointed.
Sex is beautiful.
Ok look. Sex is great. But it is also messy and sometimes totally unexpected things happen. I'm talking unladylike noises, and sweat slippage. You get the idea.
Whipped cream bikinis and chocolate syrup are great addtions to sexual activities.
No. No they're not. At least not all the time. If you're into sticky sex, great. But the gooey clean up afterwards does not sound appealing to me at all.
Women want to cuddle for hours after.
Ok, most of us want cuddling afterwards. But really the first thing on most of our minds is finding our panties (where did they go anyway?) and running to the bathroom.
xoxo
L
Monday, August 1, 2011
Things Women Wish You Knew
Ok, so she's naked. Nice! Easy boy. No matter how naked or not naked she is, there are things she's not willing (0r able) to tell you. Here are some of the things she wishes you knew about her. Perhaps you will be able to help her enjoy herself and her body as much as you do. Read on..
1) Kiss her neck. Neck kissing = instant arousal = necessary change in undies.
In today's "pornified" world neck kissing, nibbling and nuzzling connotes intimacy, not eroticism.
2) She's all ears. The ears, inside and out, are packed with nerve endings. Lightly breathe warm air into her ear. Some women have noted if they are close to finishing during sex, a slight breath or touch to her ear can send her over the edge.
3)Play with her hair. Gentle tugging stimulates nerve endings, and it just feels good. Playing with her tresses may signal bonding to her as well.
4)Look at her. We're not talking lustful stares. We're talking making a point of making eye contact with her when she tells you about her day or when you compliment her.
5)She likes to watch. Ok, we're visual creatures too. We're not the only ones that respond to seeing a naked body. Women like to see their man's manlihood just as much as men like to see our girlie bits.
6)We love to see you savour our body. Not all women are into nipple stimulation, however watching you lick and suck is damn sexy.
7)Adore her butt. Keep your paws off it in public though. Instead go for more subtle areas. However many women agree that their butt is their least favorite body part. When you grab it during sex or just as I walk by you tells us you love it. And we love that you love it.
8)Make her slippery. Remember the neck thing I mentioned earlier? Yeah, that'll do it. However, just because she's wet doesn't mean she's ready to go. So forget the dipstick test "oh good, she's wet, let's go". Give it some more time. The more time you give her the more aroused she will be.
9)She's not shallow. There is more to the clitoris than just the tip. In fact it splits off into "legs" under her lips, each of which run down either side of the vagina. So, explore the areas surrounding the tip. You may just surprise her.
10) The G-Spot. It does exist. However, many women say they find it difficult to find on their own. So this is where you come in. The usual "come hither" may work to find it. Other wome prefer firm tapping or a circular motion.
11) Be Rough. But do it gently. Many of us like it when we feel weak, even if we're not actually. Be aggressive in your delivery but also be attentive to her needs. Men complain women are often timid of handling their penis in fear of hurting them. Women say the same about their body. Try the take-control move she craves: pinning her down on the bed is the aggressive move most likely to flip her switch.
xoxo
L
1) Kiss her neck. Neck kissing = instant arousal = necessary change in undies.
In today's "pornified" world neck kissing, nibbling and nuzzling connotes intimacy, not eroticism.
2) She's all ears. The ears, inside and out, are packed with nerve endings. Lightly breathe warm air into her ear. Some women have noted if they are close to finishing during sex, a slight breath or touch to her ear can send her over the edge.
3)Play with her hair. Gentle tugging stimulates nerve endings, and it just feels good. Playing with her tresses may signal bonding to her as well.
4)Look at her. We're not talking lustful stares. We're talking making a point of making eye contact with her when she tells you about her day or when you compliment her.
5)She likes to watch. Ok, we're visual creatures too. We're not the only ones that respond to seeing a naked body. Women like to see their man's manlihood just as much as men like to see our girlie bits.
6)We love to see you savour our body. Not all women are into nipple stimulation, however watching you lick and suck is damn sexy.
7)Adore her butt. Keep your paws off it in public though. Instead go for more subtle areas. However many women agree that their butt is their least favorite body part. When you grab it during sex or just as I walk by you tells us you love it. And we love that you love it.
8)Make her slippery. Remember the neck thing I mentioned earlier? Yeah, that'll do it. However, just because she's wet doesn't mean she's ready to go. So forget the dipstick test "oh good, she's wet, let's go". Give it some more time. The more time you give her the more aroused she will be.
9)She's not shallow. There is more to the clitoris than just the tip. In fact it splits off into "legs" under her lips, each of which run down either side of the vagina. So, explore the areas surrounding the tip. You may just surprise her.
10) The G-Spot. It does exist. However, many women say they find it difficult to find on their own. So this is where you come in. The usual "come hither" may work to find it. Other wome prefer firm tapping or a circular motion.
11) Be Rough. But do it gently. Many of us like it when we feel weak, even if we're not actually. Be aggressive in your delivery but also be attentive to her needs. Men complain women are often timid of handling their penis in fear of hurting them. Women say the same about their body. Try the take-control move she craves: pinning her down on the bed is the aggressive move most likely to flip her switch.
xoxo
L
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The 8 Kinds of Sex Every Couple Should Have
The hottest couples don't just have great sex - they have embarassing sex, make-up sex, and wild can't-walk-the-next-day sex. Every kind of sex is crucial for your bond. Yes, even the couldn't-quite-stay-awake-to-finish sex.
Sure you have good sex. Ideally it would be fantastic, and often. But, there is more to a solid sex life than just straight-up sex. A truly amazing sex life encompasses lots of different kinds of sex - maybe ones you wouldn't expect. Afterall, your relationship isn't one not, so why should your sex life?
1) Pushing the Boundaries Sex
There is nothing quite like lying naked next to the man you've loved for a long time, panting and puffing thinking "wow, we've never done that before"
-if you're used to missionary try a new position in a new room in the house
-if you're used to stimulation by body parts it may be time to experiment with toys
2) Maintenance Sex
Let's be honest - sex isn't always going to be an eye glazing, spiritual encounter. Some couples think everything has to feel perfect or you both have to be in a sexual mood to have sex. But if everyone waited for that sex wouldn't happen very often. That's where maintenance sex comes in - where you just do it even if your engine isn't raring for a ride.
Just-for-the-hell-of-it sex is vital for long term relationships because no matter how much you love your family, friends and your kids, no matter how much time you spend with them you won't spend time like this with anyone else. It helps keep your bond unique and strong.
And don't forget how good regular sex is for you: it relieves stress and burns calories. It also keeps your sex engine running. So, having sex even when you're not really in the mood keeps the engine primed and ready for something hotter later.
3)Embarassing Moment Sex
Its bound to happen. One of you lets out an awkward grunt. Your sweat soaked skin slaps together in a cringe inducing fashion. Or your partner pulls or pushes in such away to creat a "scchllluuup". As mortifying as these things can be - even with someone you've been with for a long time - it is a remind that sex is raw: Discovery Channel kind of raw.
Its not supposed to be flawless. Sex is full of sights and smells and sounds. It's natural. Human bodies do funny things sometimes. And that is OK.
And your ability to deal with a red-in-the-face moment -whether you laugh it off or give eachother a sympathetic squeeze - says a lot about your bond with eachother.
4)Vacation Sex
Vacation sex is a vital part of a healthy sex life. On vacation you're at your most carefree which means you can try new things you won't have to be accountable for at home. In other words, have sex on the beach, or in a car.
Often if life in the bedroom is feeling blah it is usually your surroundings that are getting you down, not your partner. So, if you haven't had vacation sex recently, DO IT! You don't necessarily need a plane ticket. Find your way to a downtown hotel and call it a vacation.
5)Slow-road-to-sleep Sex
We all know that in life its the journey that really matters, not the destination. The same applies for sex (in some cases). That means not every sexual encounter should be focused on orgasms. The truth is, not every sexual encounter goes anywhere at all. There are some nights you start out on the journey, you want to keep going but boy-oh-boy sleeps sounds pretty darn good right now. And thats where things peter out. And thats OK.
6) Make Up Sex
Ok, so we all know we're not supposed to go to bed angry. And sometimes you can take that to a different extreme, ensuring that after a fight you go to bed happy, very very happy. Yup, thats right: wild, intense make up sex: one minute you're reeling in anger, the next you're rolling around in wild, passionate love making. Make up sex works because after a fight you're raw, exposed and vulnerable - perfect conditions for soul-to-soul bonding.
7)Comfort Sex
If you're sad, angry, depressed, grieving alone....sex can be the perfect antidote. Why? Because it is the opposite of all those things. It is close and warm, loving and together. And sometimes talking about your problems isn't what you want, but sex is.
The healing act of sex can help people who feel torn apart from eachother during a difficult period. Sex can help restore the intimate relationship you have.
8) Crazy Hang-from-the-chandelier Sex
You know what I'm talking about: wild, sweaty and so good it makes you dizzy sex. No matter how long you've been together you need to have earthshaking sex every so often.
This kind of sex is important on a deeper level: it requires a lot of trust and intimacy to allow your partner to see you in the throes of sexual abandon. And let's not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling!
xoxo
L
Sure you have good sex. Ideally it would be fantastic, and often. But, there is more to a solid sex life than just straight-up sex. A truly amazing sex life encompasses lots of different kinds of sex - maybe ones you wouldn't expect. Afterall, your relationship isn't one not, so why should your sex life?
1) Pushing the Boundaries Sex
There is nothing quite like lying naked next to the man you've loved for a long time, panting and puffing thinking "wow, we've never done that before"
-if you're used to missionary try a new position in a new room in the house
-if you're used to stimulation by body parts it may be time to experiment with toys
2) Maintenance Sex
Let's be honest - sex isn't always going to be an eye glazing, spiritual encounter. Some couples think everything has to feel perfect or you both have to be in a sexual mood to have sex. But if everyone waited for that sex wouldn't happen very often. That's where maintenance sex comes in - where you just do it even if your engine isn't raring for a ride.
Just-for-the-hell-of-it sex is vital for long term relationships because no matter how much you love your family, friends and your kids, no matter how much time you spend with them you won't spend time like this with anyone else. It helps keep your bond unique and strong.
And don't forget how good regular sex is for you: it relieves stress and burns calories. It also keeps your sex engine running. So, having sex even when you're not really in the mood keeps the engine primed and ready for something hotter later.
3)Embarassing Moment Sex
Its bound to happen. One of you lets out an awkward grunt. Your sweat soaked skin slaps together in a cringe inducing fashion. Or your partner pulls or pushes in such away to creat a "scchllluuup". As mortifying as these things can be - even with someone you've been with for a long time - it is a remind that sex is raw: Discovery Channel kind of raw.
Its not supposed to be flawless. Sex is full of sights and smells and sounds. It's natural. Human bodies do funny things sometimes. And that is OK.
And your ability to deal with a red-in-the-face moment -whether you laugh it off or give eachother a sympathetic squeeze - says a lot about your bond with eachother.
4)Vacation Sex
Vacation sex is a vital part of a healthy sex life. On vacation you're at your most carefree which means you can try new things you won't have to be accountable for at home. In other words, have sex on the beach, or in a car.
Often if life in the bedroom is feeling blah it is usually your surroundings that are getting you down, not your partner. So, if you haven't had vacation sex recently, DO IT! You don't necessarily need a plane ticket. Find your way to a downtown hotel and call it a vacation.
5)Slow-road-to-sleep Sex
We all know that in life its the journey that really matters, not the destination. The same applies for sex (in some cases). That means not every sexual encounter should be focused on orgasms. The truth is, not every sexual encounter goes anywhere at all. There are some nights you start out on the journey, you want to keep going but boy-oh-boy sleeps sounds pretty darn good right now. And thats where things peter out. And thats OK.
6) Make Up Sex
Ok, so we all know we're not supposed to go to bed angry. And sometimes you can take that to a different extreme, ensuring that after a fight you go to bed happy, very very happy. Yup, thats right: wild, intense make up sex: one minute you're reeling in anger, the next you're rolling around in wild, passionate love making. Make up sex works because after a fight you're raw, exposed and vulnerable - perfect conditions for soul-to-soul bonding.
7)Comfort Sex
If you're sad, angry, depressed, grieving alone....sex can be the perfect antidote. Why? Because it is the opposite of all those things. It is close and warm, loving and together. And sometimes talking about your problems isn't what you want, but sex is.
The healing act of sex can help people who feel torn apart from eachother during a difficult period. Sex can help restore the intimate relationship you have.
8) Crazy Hang-from-the-chandelier Sex
You know what I'm talking about: wild, sweaty and so good it makes you dizzy sex. No matter how long you've been together you need to have earthshaking sex every so often.
This kind of sex is important on a deeper level: it requires a lot of trust and intimacy to allow your partner to see you in the throes of sexual abandon. And let's not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling!
xoxo
L
Anal Sex: why she loves it and hates it
Anal is one of those things: she either loves it or hates it. There is very little middle ground. Most women have tried it at least once and a fair lot of them will never dare again. The reason: pain. If there is no pain then there is pleasure. Hence, love or hate .
The Allure of Anal Sex
For men and women anal sex is a different, tighter sensation - it's naughty and provides variety to normal sex.
Why She Loves It
Women who love it love it because it can feel incredible. Its different in sensation, and doesn't feel like anything she's likely felt before: its deep inside, it isn't her clitoris and it isn't her vagina - but strangely it feels both in a weird mixed up way. If you stimulate her clitoris once you're inside her anal orgasms are possible.
She also loves it because its naughty. People love to be naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you do completely privately and no one will ever know your naughty side besides you and your partner.
Why She Hates It
Because it can hurt. Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven't had much practice. For men it seems simple: in-and-out. But its not that simple. Women will sometimes endure the pain for one of two reasons: a) she wants to like it or b) she wants you to like it.
If you're not very careful, if you do not warm her up properly, and if you don't go slowly enough you will likely hurt her, which will greatly reduce your chances of trying it again.
She may also be worried about creating a mess. Let's be honest, given the locale we are speaking of here it is obviously a hot spot for creating a mess. Women spend time making sure they look and smell great and to have something ruin it can be mildly devastating.
Lube is essential.
The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant so you must provide your own.
Tease Her
Turn her on. It is very important that she be very well turned on before you go anywhere near her back door. When she is turned on her body is much more open to you. She needs to be aching for you to touch her. Get her to the point she is begging you for it - and do it without pentrating her with anything. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you've got, use it to your advantage.
What Not To Do. Ever.
Do not ever enter her without her express permission. Do not treat her like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to blow into or onto. If she is willing to share her derriere with you treat it and her with respect.
What To Do. Always.
Always use lube. If requested to wear a condom do so without whining. Do as she asks - anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.
Anal sex is many things for many people. Do it right and you'll get to do it again. Do it wrong and you may be doomed forever. Ok, maybe not forever, but for as long as it takes for her to forget how bad it was the first time around.
xoxo
L
The Allure of Anal Sex
For men and women anal sex is a different, tighter sensation - it's naughty and provides variety to normal sex.
Why She Loves It
Women who love it love it because it can feel incredible. Its different in sensation, and doesn't feel like anything she's likely felt before: its deep inside, it isn't her clitoris and it isn't her vagina - but strangely it feels both in a weird mixed up way. If you stimulate her clitoris once you're inside her anal orgasms are possible.
She also loves it because its naughty. People love to be naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you do completely privately and no one will ever know your naughty side besides you and your partner.
Why She Hates It
Because it can hurt. Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven't had much practice. For men it seems simple: in-and-out. But its not that simple. Women will sometimes endure the pain for one of two reasons: a) she wants to like it or b) she wants you to like it.
If you're not very careful, if you do not warm her up properly, and if you don't go slowly enough you will likely hurt her, which will greatly reduce your chances of trying it again.
She may also be worried about creating a mess. Let's be honest, given the locale we are speaking of here it is obviously a hot spot for creating a mess. Women spend time making sure they look and smell great and to have something ruin it can be mildly devastating.
Lube is essential.
The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant so you must provide your own.
Tease Her
Turn her on. It is very important that she be very well turned on before you go anywhere near her back door. When she is turned on her body is much more open to you. She needs to be aching for you to touch her. Get her to the point she is begging you for it - and do it without pentrating her with anything. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you've got, use it to your advantage.
What Not To Do. Ever.
Do not ever enter her without her express permission. Do not treat her like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to blow into or onto. If she is willing to share her derriere with you treat it and her with respect.
What To Do. Always.
Always use lube. If requested to wear a condom do so without whining. Do as she asks - anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.
Anal sex is many things for many people. Do it right and you'll get to do it again. Do it wrong and you may be doomed forever. Ok, maybe not forever, but for as long as it takes for her to forget how bad it was the first time around.
xoxo
L
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Last Longer
The average guy lasts only 5 to 10mins during sex. And over 70% of men want longer sexual endurance. Use these tips and ye shall, *ahem*, overcome.
Master Masturbation
Spend your solo time with a woman's orgasm in mind. Translate: take your time. Work up to 15mins. Bring yourself close but don't let yourself go until time is up.
Squeeze
If you find yourself overheating during sex stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. This pushes the blood out of the penis and momentarily delays the ejaculatory response.
Press, Don't Thrust
Press the head of your penis against her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance where the most sensitive nerve endings are. Focus on small shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 - 3 inches of her vagina.
Show a Little Courtesy
Ladies first, gentlemen - and not just when it comes to holding doors. When you help her have an orgasm first it relieves some of the pressure from you.
Go for Round Two
Had a premature emission? No worries. Turn your attention to her and her arousal (yes, this means you have to stay awake), then getting back in the saddle. You'll be guaranteed to last longer the second time.
Let her Climb On
When she's on top your penis is less stimulated. But tell her to go slow. Long, fast thrusting is hazardous to a man's endurance.
Stop Thinking About It
The area of the brain responsible for triggering an orgasm is engaged whether you're trying to halt one or have one. The more attention you give it the more likely it is to arrive. Focus on what is happening right now instead of the end result.
Random factoid: talk to your doctor - men who have endurance issues have found that Prozac greatly improved their sexual longevity.
xoxo
L
Master Masturbation
Spend your solo time with a woman's orgasm in mind. Translate: take your time. Work up to 15mins. Bring yourself close but don't let yourself go until time is up.
Squeeze
If you find yourself overheating during sex stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. This pushes the blood out of the penis and momentarily delays the ejaculatory response.
Press, Don't Thrust
Press the head of your penis against her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance where the most sensitive nerve endings are. Focus on small shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 - 3 inches of her vagina.
Show a Little Courtesy
Ladies first, gentlemen - and not just when it comes to holding doors. When you help her have an orgasm first it relieves some of the pressure from you.
Go for Round Two
Had a premature emission? No worries. Turn your attention to her and her arousal (yes, this means you have to stay awake), then getting back in the saddle. You'll be guaranteed to last longer the second time.
Let her Climb On
When she's on top your penis is less stimulated. But tell her to go slow. Long, fast thrusting is hazardous to a man's endurance.
Stop Thinking About It
The area of the brain responsible for triggering an orgasm is engaged whether you're trying to halt one or have one. The more attention you give it the more likely it is to arrive. Focus on what is happening right now instead of the end result.
Random factoid: talk to your doctor - men who have endurance issues have found that Prozac greatly improved their sexual longevity.
xoxo
L
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Reasons Men Love Women
Your sweaty post gym rawness. You think you're most desireable when you're all dolled up looking pretty as a peach. No. Men think otherwise. Its at six o'clock, after work, you're just home from the gym in your favorite old tank top, devoid of make up and perfume when you are nothing but raw, glistening womaness. You'll likely think "ewwww....gross." but he'll beg to differ.
Cross dresser. Seeing you glide by him in a pair of his boxers or in one of his shirts will drive him crazy wild!
Awkward high school photos. "OMG! Don't look at that" you'll say as you snatch the photo from his grip. Just know that no matter how gangly the limbs, or how frizzy your hair is he's pretty certain you wouldn't have spoken to him in high school anyway, but you sure do now!
You way with children. Men will be honest and say that they really don't know where the relationship is going and it freaks them out when their lady starts naming their future children. However, him seeing your warmth and ease with children they can't help but think "maybe".
Simplicity. While men dig the candlelit dinners and your kitchen acrobatics, from time to time break out grandma's spagetti recipe, pop the cork on an $8 bottle of Chianti and eat together on the patio. There is infinite bliss in simple moments.
Your patience with their family. His uncle Frank is making comments about your "rump", aunt Joan is forcing feeding your more awful hors d'oeuvres while his cousin Destiny hisses on about how eating meat his murder and you're pretty sure his little cousin Derrick is spying on you in the bathroom. All that and you still want to have sex with him. It boggles their mind.
When you clean your plate. Dive in to that ribeye. He'll find it sexy. Stop half way through and say "I can't stop eating this - its SOOO good!". A passion for great food suggests a passion for all life's sensual pleasures.
The look. You know the one. The cross table glance that will tell him where the night is headed. Its subtle enough to be shared across a crowded table, but its powerful enough to buckle his poor knees. Don't underestimate it.
Your badass self reliance. You've gathered the wood and built the fire while he's still wrestling with the tent. You tackle your own leaky fawcets and can fix your own crashed computer. When you should you don't need them its that much more gratifying that you want them.
xoxo
L
Cross dresser. Seeing you glide by him in a pair of his boxers or in one of his shirts will drive him crazy wild!
Awkward high school photos. "OMG! Don't look at that" you'll say as you snatch the photo from his grip. Just know that no matter how gangly the limbs, or how frizzy your hair is he's pretty certain you wouldn't have spoken to him in high school anyway, but you sure do now!
You way with children. Men will be honest and say that they really don't know where the relationship is going and it freaks them out when their lady starts naming their future children. However, him seeing your warmth and ease with children they can't help but think "maybe".
Simplicity. While men dig the candlelit dinners and your kitchen acrobatics, from time to time break out grandma's spagetti recipe, pop the cork on an $8 bottle of Chianti and eat together on the patio. There is infinite bliss in simple moments.
Your patience with their family. His uncle Frank is making comments about your "rump", aunt Joan is forcing feeding your more awful hors d'oeuvres while his cousin Destiny hisses on about how eating meat his murder and you're pretty sure his little cousin Derrick is spying on you in the bathroom. All that and you still want to have sex with him. It boggles their mind.
When you clean your plate. Dive in to that ribeye. He'll find it sexy. Stop half way through and say "I can't stop eating this - its SOOO good!". A passion for great food suggests a passion for all life's sensual pleasures.
The look. You know the one. The cross table glance that will tell him where the night is headed. Its subtle enough to be shared across a crowded table, but its powerful enough to buckle his poor knees. Don't underestimate it.
Your badass self reliance. You've gathered the wood and built the fire while he's still wrestling with the tent. You tackle your own leaky fawcets and can fix your own crashed computer. When you should you don't need them its that much more gratifying that you want them.
xoxo
L
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Faker
The situation: you're doing everything right, and yet she's still not getting off.
The newsflash: her pleasure (or lack thereof) isn't always about you.
More often than not women fake orgasms because of their own insecurities rather than their partner's wrongdoings. (insert sigh of relief here guys)
Rumour has it women fake it for a variety of reasons: they're embarassed about their abilities; they're afraid of being intimate; they're tired and just want to stop; and- wait, what? they fake it to increase their own excitement.
Around 60% of women have faked an orgasm, while 80% actually have them. So there is proof that her trickery isn't a reflection of your own skills. Cause for celebration, right?
Not so fast. Women cite a dozen motives for not achieving orgasm: fatigue, not enough clitoral stimulation, and preoccupation with work, school, kids are all major factors - but a lack of foreplay won hands down.
So, want to help transition her from faking it to the real deal? Spend the time it takes to help her get there. That wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am stuff doesn't work for us. It works for you, we know. We also know you get off just about every single time. Don't you think its only fair that she get her jollies too? Take the time, show an interest in her and her pleasure. Soon enough she'll join you in basking in the joy of real Os!
xoxo
L
The newsflash: her pleasure (or lack thereof) isn't always about you.
More often than not women fake orgasms because of their own insecurities rather than their partner's wrongdoings. (insert sigh of relief here guys)
Rumour has it women fake it for a variety of reasons: they're embarassed about their abilities; they're afraid of being intimate; they're tired and just want to stop; and- wait, what? they fake it to increase their own excitement.
Around 60% of women have faked an orgasm, while 80% actually have them. So there is proof that her trickery isn't a reflection of your own skills. Cause for celebration, right?
Not so fast. Women cite a dozen motives for not achieving orgasm: fatigue, not enough clitoral stimulation, and preoccupation with work, school, kids are all major factors - but a lack of foreplay won hands down.
So, want to help transition her from faking it to the real deal? Spend the time it takes to help her get there. That wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am stuff doesn't work for us. It works for you, we know. We also know you get off just about every single time. Don't you think its only fair that she get her jollies too? Take the time, show an interest in her and her pleasure. Soon enough she'll join you in basking in the joy of real Os!
xoxo
L
Her sounds decoded
Deciphering what she wants in bed is a great mystery. Something along the lines of the mystery of the Sphinx - only more complicated.
A recent study reports women often struggle to express what they want in the bedroom - and many have trouble recognizing their own sexual feelings.
Great.
You may be thinking if she doesn't know how on earth are you supposed to know? Well, there is hope. And here is how you can read her cues:
She says: "Don't stop"
You think: "She's having a good time. I should go harder and faster."
She means: Don't change anything - at all.
Yup, she really means don't change anything. A woman's pleasure points are very specific. Changing, even slightly, can break her orgasm.
She says: Nothing.
You think: She's not enjoying herself.
She means: I'm about to orgasm.
Sure, some women may scream like a porn star on ecstasy- but others will hold their breath and become quiet right before orgasm.
She says: I've been masturbating more recently
You think: Sex with me isn't enough
She means: You make me want more sex.
It is proven that the more sex women have the more they want. See, the more intimate she is with you the more sexual she is feeling in general, making her more likely to have a solo session - or two.
So listen to her. It'll only be to your advantage if you do.
xoxo
L
A recent study reports women often struggle to express what they want in the bedroom - and many have trouble recognizing their own sexual feelings.
Great.
You may be thinking if she doesn't know how on earth are you supposed to know? Well, there is hope. And here is how you can read her cues:
She says: "Don't stop"
You think: "She's having a good time. I should go harder and faster."
She means: Don't change anything - at all.
Yup, she really means don't change anything. A woman's pleasure points are very specific. Changing, even slightly, can break her orgasm.
She says: Nothing.
You think: She's not enjoying herself.
She means: I'm about to orgasm.
Sure, some women may scream like a porn star on ecstasy- but others will hold their breath and become quiet right before orgasm.
She says: I've been masturbating more recently
You think: Sex with me isn't enough
She means: You make me want more sex.
It is proven that the more sex women have the more they want. See, the more intimate she is with you the more sexual she is feeling in general, making her more likely to have a solo session - or two.
So listen to her. It'll only be to your advantage if you do.
xoxo
L
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Assume the Position
Is your sex life screaming for a system upgrade? Has it withered in frequency or intensity? Or both? It has? Well that doesn't sound fun AT ALL. While its normal for couples to go through slumps and ruts, it shouldn't last for long, and it shouldn't be OK for either of you if it has. If you are finding yourself in such a predicatment, or you just want to be prepared for the next time it does, here is a list of orgasm inducing ways to get your grind on. They're sure to fulfill all your naughty needs!
Faceoff
How: he sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him seated on his lap
Benefit: you control the angle and depth of thrust, and being seated gives support which makes it great for marathon sex!
Cowgirl's Helper
How: similar to the popular cowgirl, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest, and sliding up and down his thighs. But, he helps to support some of your weight by grabbing your hips while he rises to meet your thrust
Benefit: Makes climaxing easier, and female dominant positions delay his climax so everyone wins
Leapfrog
How: this is pretty well the same as doggy, however you keep your hips raised and rest your head on the bed or a pillow
Benefit: creates deeper penetration
Ballet Dancer
How: standing on one foot wrap the other leg around his wasit while he supports you
Benefit: allows for closeness and reconnection
Missionary
How: lie on your back while he lies down facing you
Benefit: simple, elegant, and very effective. And it allows for closeness and eye contact
Doggy
How: you kneel on hands and knees, with his body upright or slightly draped over you he enters from behind
Benefit: allows for deeper penetration, and for clitoral stimulation - do it yourself or have him stimulate you
The Caboose
How: While he sits on the bed back yourself into him, spooning eachother while seated
Benefit: Because you can't see your partner fantasizing is easier, which can add to the excitement.
Reverse Cowgirl
How: with him lying on his back, straddle him facing his feet
Benefit: lets you take control, showing your guy the pace and rhythm you like
Scoop Me Up
How: both of you lie on your sides facing the same direction (a la spooning), bring your knees up slightly while he slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind
Benefit: allows for more skin-to-skin contact
Reverse Scoop
How: From the missionary position, without disengaging, roll onto your sides, facing eachother
Benefit: you get the same full-body contact and get to look into eachother's eyes
Magic Mountain
How: He sits, legs bent, leaning back on his arms. You do the same inching your way toward him until you connect.
Benefit: You'll feel really connected with him being able to look into his eyes. For an addded bonus, grind your clitoris against his pelvis.
The Chairman
How: he sits on the edge of the bed, you sit in his lap facing away
Benefit: this will hit THE spot - as in the G-spot.
The Cowboy
How: He straddles you, and enters you through your semi-closed legs
Benefit: The tightness increases the intensity of penetration
Golden Arch
How: He sits with his legs straight, leaning back on his arms. You inch closer to him, with your knees bent and legs over his thighs, leaning back on your arms
Benefit: Gives you control of the depth, speed, and angle of thrusts
The Seashell
How: Lie on your back, raise your legs all the way up, crossing your ankles behind your own head
Benefit: leaves your hands free for clitoral stimulation. Have him "ride high" so his pubic bone rubs against your clitoris, or "ride low" so the head of his member hits the G-spot.
**if you are among the inflexible, I don't recommend this one. You'll get stuck, and it'll be uncomfortable. For those of you who are...GIVE'ER!
The Om
How: He sits crosslegged (yoga style), you sit in his lap facing him, wrap your legs around him
Benefit: Best for tantric sex, rocking not thrusting is key for this very intimate position
Valedictorian
How: From missionary raise your legs and spread them into a V
Benefit: Allows for increased contact around your girlie bits
xoxo
L
Faceoff
How: he sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him seated on his lap
Benefit: you control the angle and depth of thrust, and being seated gives support which makes it great for marathon sex!
Cowgirl's Helper
How: similar to the popular cowgirl, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest, and sliding up and down his thighs. But, he helps to support some of your weight by grabbing your hips while he rises to meet your thrust
Benefit: Makes climaxing easier, and female dominant positions delay his climax so everyone wins
Leapfrog
How: this is pretty well the same as doggy, however you keep your hips raised and rest your head on the bed or a pillow
Benefit: creates deeper penetration
Ballet Dancer
How: standing on one foot wrap the other leg around his wasit while he supports you
Benefit: allows for closeness and reconnection
Missionary
How: lie on your back while he lies down facing you
Benefit: simple, elegant, and very effective. And it allows for closeness and eye contact
Doggy
How: you kneel on hands and knees, with his body upright or slightly draped over you he enters from behind
Benefit: allows for deeper penetration, and for clitoral stimulation - do it yourself or have him stimulate you
The Caboose
How: While he sits on the bed back yourself into him, spooning eachother while seated
Benefit: Because you can't see your partner fantasizing is easier, which can add to the excitement.
Reverse Cowgirl
How: with him lying on his back, straddle him facing his feet
Benefit: lets you take control, showing your guy the pace and rhythm you like
Scoop Me Up
How: both of you lie on your sides facing the same direction (a la spooning), bring your knees up slightly while he slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind
Benefit: allows for more skin-to-skin contact
Reverse Scoop
How: From the missionary position, without disengaging, roll onto your sides, facing eachother
Benefit: you get the same full-body contact and get to look into eachother's eyes
Magic Mountain
How: He sits, legs bent, leaning back on his arms. You do the same inching your way toward him until you connect.
Benefit: You'll feel really connected with him being able to look into his eyes. For an addded bonus, grind your clitoris against his pelvis.
The Chairman
How: he sits on the edge of the bed, you sit in his lap facing away
Benefit: this will hit THE spot - as in the G-spot.
The Cowboy
How: He straddles you, and enters you through your semi-closed legs
Benefit: The tightness increases the intensity of penetration
Golden Arch
How: He sits with his legs straight, leaning back on his arms. You inch closer to him, with your knees bent and legs over his thighs, leaning back on your arms
Benefit: Gives you control of the depth, speed, and angle of thrusts
The Seashell
How: Lie on your back, raise your legs all the way up, crossing your ankles behind your own head
Benefit: leaves your hands free for clitoral stimulation. Have him "ride high" so his pubic bone rubs against your clitoris, or "ride low" so the head of his member hits the G-spot.
**if you are among the inflexible, I don't recommend this one. You'll get stuck, and it'll be uncomfortable. For those of you who are...GIVE'ER!
The Om
How: He sits crosslegged (yoga style), you sit in his lap facing him, wrap your legs around him
Benefit: Best for tantric sex, rocking not thrusting is key for this very intimate position
Valedictorian
How: From missionary raise your legs and spread them into a V
Benefit: Allows for increased contact around your girlie bits
xoxo
L
Friday, June 17, 2011
Get Your Rub On
She loves massages and she loves sex - imagine her reaction when you put the two together to create a spectacular night she won't soon forget! Whether you're trying to add a little spice to a fizzing romance, or are trying to impress a new lover, a sensual massage may just be your one-way ticket to Pleasureville.
Many men think of giving their lady a massage, but not many actually setp up to the plate: they either fear rejection or they just aren't quite sure how to initiate it. The truth is most women are very receptive to massage, but just how receptive she'll be to a sensual massage depends greatly on her mood. You can start with a more traditional massage then move into more intimate affairs. Here's how to get started:
Prepare
Before you get started you'll need a few things beyond your hands and a body to put them on. Invest in some massage oil that is safe for internal use and a blindfold. It would also be handy to have a few towels closeby.
A few more things to think about before you get started
Give Her a Full-Body Sensual Massage
This doesn't mean you take on the tedious task of massaging every square inch of her. Rather massage her with your body. Make use of your well oiled arms and chest. And don't be afraid to use your mouth and tongue in the mix. Kissing, licking and warm breath on bare flesh often spark a welcomed erotic response.
Use Your Hands in Different Capacities
While you're using one hand to caress her body use the other to explore her nether-regions. Try going for her G-spot to see if you can't bring her to an earth shattering climax. This may be a good time to bring out that blindfold. Removing one of her senses will heighten her others.
Head to the Erogenous Zones
We all know the parts of a woman's body that get the most attention. Areas like the vagina, nipples and feet are targeted because men don't know that women can be aroused in other areas. Her wrists, fingers, ears, the back of her neck and the inside of her elbows are all visited as often as tourists travel to Siberia. Feel free to rub, kiss and lick these neglected areas. She will appreciate your attention to detail.
However don't entirely neglect the classic hot spots like her breasts and her clitoris. She's accustomed to having these areas stimulated and will probably expect them to get some attention too. Take your time, read her body language.
The art of massage, particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat during sex. Be an original lover and give her a night she will want to repeat. Remember, if you treat her to this, she'll likely repay you with a little favor that you'll greatly appreciate.
xoxo
L
Many men think of giving their lady a massage, but not many actually setp up to the plate: they either fear rejection or they just aren't quite sure how to initiate it. The truth is most women are very receptive to massage, but just how receptive she'll be to a sensual massage depends greatly on her mood. You can start with a more traditional massage then move into more intimate affairs. Here's how to get started:
Prepare
Before you get started you'll need a few things beyond your hands and a body to put them on. Invest in some massage oil that is safe for internal use and a blindfold. It would also be handy to have a few towels closeby.
A few more things to think about before you get started
- your hands must be clean and your nails trimmed
- your hands should be warm
- never apply the massage oil directly to her body. place a good amount in your hands, rub them together then begin the massage.
- start gently. you want to arouse her, not bruise her.
Give Her a Full-Body Sensual Massage
This doesn't mean you take on the tedious task of massaging every square inch of her. Rather massage her with your body. Make use of your well oiled arms and chest. And don't be afraid to use your mouth and tongue in the mix. Kissing, licking and warm breath on bare flesh often spark a welcomed erotic response.
Use Your Hands in Different Capacities
While you're using one hand to caress her body use the other to explore her nether-regions. Try going for her G-spot to see if you can't bring her to an earth shattering climax. This may be a good time to bring out that blindfold. Removing one of her senses will heighten her others.
Head to the Erogenous Zones
We all know the parts of a woman's body that get the most attention. Areas like the vagina, nipples and feet are targeted because men don't know that women can be aroused in other areas. Her wrists, fingers, ears, the back of her neck and the inside of her elbows are all visited as often as tourists travel to Siberia. Feel free to rub, kiss and lick these neglected areas. She will appreciate your attention to detail.
However don't entirely neglect the classic hot spots like her breasts and her clitoris. She's accustomed to having these areas stimulated and will probably expect them to get some attention too. Take your time, read her body language.
The art of massage, particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat during sex. Be an original lover and give her a night she will want to repeat. Remember, if you treat her to this, she'll likely repay you with a little favor that you'll greatly appreciate.
xoxo
L
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Secrets of sexually satisfied women
She wants more.
Satisfied women have sex several times a week. And yet there are some who are still left wanting more. Because women have a broad definition of sex this doesn't necessarily mean she wants more intercourse. She may just want to feel sexy more. So, let her know you're thinking about her throughout the day, and lightly tinge it with sex. One way is to ask her about going out to dinner and asking her to wear that one skirt that she knows drives you wild.
She knows she's hot.
Satisfied women don't suffer from low self esteem. They know they're hot. And they know their partners find them extremely sexy. Want your lady to be confident? Don't ever critcize her body. Ever. If you do she won't feel comfortable showing you her body. She'll be worried you think she's fat or ugly.
She'll speak up.
She knows what she wants and will ask for it. A woman comfortable asking for what she wants will be orgasmic more of the time.
Its all about pleasure.
Crazy, but its true: orgasm isn't essential to a woman's satisfaction. (disclaimer: that does not mean it should be OK for your lady to go without them all the time. Got it?) If the sex is good and its pleasurable many women will say that an orgasm isn't necessary. If you relax, she'll relax and will be more likely to hit the O.
Passion Trumps Size.
Yup, also crazy and true. Its really not all about the size of your johnson. It really is more about what you do with it. A very small portion of women will say that penis size matters in overall satisfaction, while the greater majority say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. Passion is what keeps women coming back for more.
xoxo
L
Satisfied women have sex several times a week. And yet there are some who are still left wanting more. Because women have a broad definition of sex this doesn't necessarily mean she wants more intercourse. She may just want to feel sexy more. So, let her know you're thinking about her throughout the day, and lightly tinge it with sex. One way is to ask her about going out to dinner and asking her to wear that one skirt that she knows drives you wild.
She knows she's hot.
Satisfied women don't suffer from low self esteem. They know they're hot. And they know their partners find them extremely sexy. Want your lady to be confident? Don't ever critcize her body. Ever. If you do she won't feel comfortable showing you her body. She'll be worried you think she's fat or ugly.
She'll speak up.
She knows what she wants and will ask for it. A woman comfortable asking for what she wants will be orgasmic more of the time.
Its all about pleasure.
Crazy, but its true: orgasm isn't essential to a woman's satisfaction. (disclaimer: that does not mean it should be OK for your lady to go without them all the time. Got it?) If the sex is good and its pleasurable many women will say that an orgasm isn't necessary. If you relax, she'll relax and will be more likely to hit the O.
Passion Trumps Size.
Yup, also crazy and true. Its really not all about the size of your johnson. It really is more about what you do with it. A very small portion of women will say that penis size matters in overall satisfaction, while the greater majority say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. Passion is what keeps women coming back for more.
xoxo
L
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Rise and Shine
The alarm clock goes off. What's the first thing you think of? If you're anything like me its usually something to the effect of "how long will it take me to get my first cup of coffee into me?". And that noise. Why must the sound of an alarm clock be so obnoxiously jarring? Its not a happy sound. Sex likely isn't the first thing that pops into your head as you are jolted awake. That 3-hour board meeting this morning might be, but sex likely isn't.
So, instead of trudging off to slug through your day, why not turn that rude awakening into a roll with the 400-thread count hay? Apparently those who engage in morning sex are all-around healthier and happier people.
Give him a sexy wakeup call. Program your alarm to play soft music. Once you're awake slip out of your PJs. Then try this: if he's lying on his back place your hands on his thighs near his manly parts and gently massage small circles. This will increase blood flow to those all important body parts. Which is convenient since that is where you are headed next!
Get fresh. Sneaking off to brush your teeth will not only get rid of dragon breath to make kissing more enjoyable, the mintyness will give him a little extra zip during oral.
Enjoy the view. Part of what makes morning sex so delicious is that in the day light it is hard to hide your so called flaws. Let your insecurities take a back seat in favor of unadulterated passion. Instead of covering up under blankets kick them off so you both get to enjoy the view.
Morning wood? Your guy is hardwired to want sex first thing in the morning. While he sleeps all the testosterone he needs for the day builds up. So, hop aboard and ride off into the sunset rise while he's good and primed.
Get cozy. Since you'll both likely be groggy from just waking up try positions that don't require a ton of effort. Spooning anyone?
Have a quickie. Sunrise sex doesn't have to be a marathon session. If you've got time for it, then great. If you don't this may be the perfect time to indulge in a quickie. Pounce on him when he least expects it. Have a hot makeout session, cop a couple of feels then have at it.
While I'm sure we all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you have my permission to skip it from time to time in favor of a morning session of knocking boots. Sure to put a smile on your face, and start your day off on the right foot!
xoxo
L
So, instead of trudging off to slug through your day, why not turn that rude awakening into a roll with the 400-thread count hay? Apparently those who engage in morning sex are all-around healthier and happier people.
Give him a sexy wakeup call. Program your alarm to play soft music. Once you're awake slip out of your PJs. Then try this: if he's lying on his back place your hands on his thighs near his manly parts and gently massage small circles. This will increase blood flow to those all important body parts. Which is convenient since that is where you are headed next!
Get fresh. Sneaking off to brush your teeth will not only get rid of dragon breath to make kissing more enjoyable, the mintyness will give him a little extra zip during oral.
Enjoy the view. Part of what makes morning sex so delicious is that in the day light it is hard to hide your so called flaws. Let your insecurities take a back seat in favor of unadulterated passion. Instead of covering up under blankets kick them off so you both get to enjoy the view.
Morning wood? Your guy is hardwired to want sex first thing in the morning. While he sleeps all the testosterone he needs for the day builds up. So, hop aboard and ride off into the sun
Get cozy. Since you'll both likely be groggy from just waking up try positions that don't require a ton of effort. Spooning anyone?
Have a quickie. Sunrise sex doesn't have to be a marathon session. If you've got time for it, then great. If you don't this may be the perfect time to indulge in a quickie. Pounce on him when he least expects it. Have a hot makeout session, cop a couple of feels then have at it.
While I'm sure we all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you have my permission to skip it from time to time in favor of a morning session of knocking boots. Sure to put a smile on your face, and start your day off on the right foot!
xoxo
L
Saturday, June 11, 2011
What his sexual tendancies say about him....
Doggy Style.
He's probably a butt man. Ergo his favorite position gives him a view from behind. He is more likely to be studly and not likely a metrosexual. He doesn't manscape, and can often be seen having sex in his tube socks. He's confident and will make you feel protected.
Missionary.
By day he's in a suit, works for the city or the government. On the weekends he can be found on the links. Not a law breaker and plays by the rules.
Tantric.
You met him at yoga. He has a pony tail, and probably hasn't worn deodorant since 1997. And honestly, he kinda smells. He's not all that interested in actually boning you. He more like wants to connect his sexual energy with your aura.
Cowgirl.
Dude is lazy. He wants you to do most of the work. You either climb on and ride him or you ain't gettin any.
Side by side.
He wants your reassurance. He wants to be reassured of your feelings for him. Probably more sensitive than Mr. Doggy.
xoxo
L
He's probably a butt man. Ergo his favorite position gives him a view from behind. He is more likely to be studly and not likely a metrosexual. He doesn't manscape, and can often be seen having sex in his tube socks. He's confident and will make you feel protected.
Missionary.
By day he's in a suit, works for the city or the government. On the weekends he can be found on the links. Not a law breaker and plays by the rules.
Tantric.
You met him at yoga. He has a pony tail, and probably hasn't worn deodorant since 1997. And honestly, he kinda smells. He's not all that interested in actually boning you. He more like wants to connect his sexual energy with your aura.
Cowgirl.
Dude is lazy. He wants you to do most of the work. You either climb on and ride him or you ain't gettin any.
Side by side.
He wants your reassurance. He wants to be reassured of your feelings for him. Probably more sensitive than Mr. Doggy.
xoxo
L
Pucker Up
I'm sure we've mentioned it a few times here that there is just something about a good kiss. A great kiss. And a hot makeout session.
I'm not entirely sure I believe there are bad kissers out there. I think it more comes down to there being a lack of connection between Kisser A and Kisser B. Having that connection is what allows for an electrifying lip-lock and prevents a ho-hum smooch.
So let's just assume you've got that connection: physically, emotionally and chemically. There are ways to up the voltage on your already great kisses:
Use your hands. A good kiss is more than just locking lips. The more physical contact you have the more connected you'll feel. Run your fingers through her hair. Gently massage her shoulder blades. Wandering hands can amp up the sensuality without being disrespectful.
Eye contact. Look into her eyes from time to time. Make eye contact and hold it for a moment. No need for a staring contest however. Just let your eyes do the talking and conect the two of you for a few seconds.
Variety. Mix it up with lip nibbles, gentle neck bites and a bit of tongue action. And don't forget to smile.
Pay attention. Distraction is the single best way to sour a great kiss. Hot kisses have much in common with dancing- each person acts and reacts to the other's movements, breaths, pace and sounds. The more you're in the moment, the more sensual the kiss will be.
Kissing faux pas:
The lizard. Your tongue darts in and out like a reptile hunting for its next prey.
The Roto Rooter. Your tongue ventures so far down her throat her gag reflex kicks in.
The Deep Sea Diver. You rarely come up for air.
Frozen. You don't change it up. You stay in the same position, same angle, same posture.
The Squid. Your breath isn't fresh and all she can think about is how to slip you a breath mint.
Pucker up. Kiss more often. A kiss can be a prelude to sex, however it doesn't always have to be. It can be a moment for you and your partner to reconnect, to tune out the world. It is an opportunity for your lips to tell your special someone how you feel about them without having to utter a single word.
xoxo
L
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A user's guide for breasts
Breasts. Boobs. Ta-Tas. We have 'em. You want access to 'em.
There are somethings in life that are just not meant to be understood. The duck-billed platypus. The inlaws. Celery. And how Charlie Sheen manages to find work. We know men really are that enthralled with these pieces of female flesh.
You admire them, imagine them. Even long for them. And we know this. We know many men are boob men. And some women don't mind knowing men are checking out her girls. However, this doesn't give you a free pass to make crass comments, or to not maintain eye contact with a lady you are speaking with. Do mind your manners - revel in breasts privately, respect them publically, and revere the women who bring them into your life.
In bed, men tend to have two degrees of touching: they either like to touch the way they like to be touched, which usually means rougher and firmer, or they touch the way a previous partner liked. Either way, your current lady may not like either option. Every time a woman takes off her bra in your presence wipe your memory clean of your past experiences with other breasts. Make like this is your first time seeing them. Remember, no two pairs are alike.
Breasts aren't just about sex. And when you realize this we appreciate it. Learn to desexualize them. When you're sitting together on the couch simply laying your head on her chest gives a woman a powerful feeling. And if we complain about our breasts being sore offer to massage them for us, in a nonsexual way of course. Breast massage feels good and isn't something we can ask for at the spa.
Be gentle with our nipples. Thats not saying some nipple action can't be a pleasurable thing. But something that very closely resembles a titty-twister does not feel good at all. Do you like having your nipples clamped onto and twisted to the point it hurts? No. Ok, neither do we. And just in generel remember our breasts are not a pig skin, so please do not handle them as such. You can be firm without being rough.
There are as many reasons for why men like breasts as there are stars in the sky. They feel good to touch, you find them sexy, they're warm....the list goes on. Though do remember they are parts of our body, and aren't just sexual play things. Respect them, treat them well and I'm willing to bet you may just get more between the sheets playtime with them.
xoxo
L
There are somethings in life that are just not meant to be understood. The duck-billed platypus. The inlaws. Celery. And how Charlie Sheen manages to find work. We know men really are that enthralled with these pieces of female flesh.
You admire them, imagine them. Even long for them. And we know this. We know many men are boob men. And some women don't mind knowing men are checking out her girls. However, this doesn't give you a free pass to make crass comments, or to not maintain eye contact with a lady you are speaking with. Do mind your manners - revel in breasts privately, respect them publically, and revere the women who bring them into your life.
In bed, men tend to have two degrees of touching: they either like to touch the way they like to be touched, which usually means rougher and firmer, or they touch the way a previous partner liked. Either way, your current lady may not like either option. Every time a woman takes off her bra in your presence wipe your memory clean of your past experiences with other breasts. Make like this is your first time seeing them. Remember, no two pairs are alike.
Breasts aren't just about sex. And when you realize this we appreciate it. Learn to desexualize them. When you're sitting together on the couch simply laying your head on her chest gives a woman a powerful feeling. And if we complain about our breasts being sore offer to massage them for us, in a nonsexual way of course. Breast massage feels good and isn't something we can ask for at the spa.
Be gentle with our nipples. Thats not saying some nipple action can't be a pleasurable thing. But something that very closely resembles a titty-twister does not feel good at all. Do you like having your nipples clamped onto and twisted to the point it hurts? No. Ok, neither do we. And just in generel remember our breasts are not a pig skin, so please do not handle them as such. You can be firm without being rough.
There are as many reasons for why men like breasts as there are stars in the sky. They feel good to touch, you find them sexy, they're warm....the list goes on. Though do remember they are parts of our body, and aren't just sexual play things. Respect them, treat them well and I'm willing to bet you may just get more between the sheets playtime with them.
xoxo
L
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Female O
The female orgasm. Women want to have them. Men want to deliver them. Far too often the woman's O falls among the ranks of the Sasquatch- great and magical in theory, but not something that is easily stumbled upon.
Sure the female orgasm is fickle. If you follow these pointers you have the greatest chance of seeing one in the wild, in it's natural habitat. So sit down and listen up. Female Orgasm 101 is in session
#1 - take her off the clock. Like you worry about not lasting long enough she worries about taking too long to reach orgasm, so many women end up faking one or deciding to go without. So stop obsessing over orgasms - your's and her's. Take the pressure off. Relaxation is the single most important factor in bringing a woman to orgasm.
Tell her she has all night. The more you convey a tolerance for a lengthy buildup and an appreciation for her pleasure the more likely she is to unwind and blast off into orbit. It can take up to 40mins (if not more) for a woman to reach orgasm. Going somewhere?
#2- turn her on with your talent. The best sex starts before the clothes come off. Talent - more than rugged good looks or washboard abs - is a powerful aphrodisiac. So, nail that song during karaoke. Make her die laughing during your less than stellar dart game. Yup, humor is a talent too.
#3- when she's naked, speak up. Women worry about how they look. They also worry about how they look down there, which makes it difficult for them to O during oral. Clearly you have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks (and you do, right?) naked, speak up!
#4- learn how she likes to be touched. One thing we love during manual stimulation is a slow buildup. Place the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now, run your ring and middle fingers along her outter lips. Gently graze the skin at first adding pressure as the tension builds. In the beginning she may be too sensitive for direct clitoral stimulation. Give it a few minutes then gently work your way to the hot spot.
#5- learn to sense her orgasm. Ease into oral sex, don't just dive right in. Kiss her inner thighs, the move to her outter lips, eventually moving inside, with firm, broad strokes with your tongue. Watch her hips for a rhythm she likes. Listen to her moans and gasps to tell you you're on the right path.
#6- follow her lead. Once you've reached the point of no return you could climax if a marching band made its way through your bedroom. Your lady, not so much. She'll like hit the off switch if you move or change up midway to orgasm. We love it when you try new things, but once you've found a winner stick with it until she crosses the finish line.
#7- let her finish first. Stalking the tandem orgasm is admirable. However, most women prefer a "ladies first" approach. If you rub the clitoris for a long time, during penetration for example, it can become too sore or desensitized to respond to oral or manual stimulation later. So, satisfy her before intercourse. Bonus: a woman's orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it is often easier to bring her to orgasm during intercourse after she's already had one. How's that sound for an encore?
So there you go. A few tips and tricks to get you started on helping your lady reach orgasm. Believe me, if you put these to practice she will thank you for it later!
xoxo
L
Reasons she has sex with you
Remember when you first discovered sex? Likely somewhere around the age of 7 or so. In your 7-year-old mind you learned your parents had done the dirty twice: once to create you and once to crank out your little sister. Then a few years down the road you learned that propagation is only a small part of sex. In fact it is only one of a host of reasons we humans hook up. One university study showed there are 237 reasons why we hook up - who knew?!
While we know why you, boys, enjoy sex, her reasons often remain slightly more mysterious. Lucky for you I'm here to decode some of that mystery for you! Yes, you can thank me later!
You're a good kisser: So what if you're not a hormonal teenager anymore. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session. In fact, a well executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. Unlike men, we women are less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds simple enough, right? Down boy. Her definition of a great kiss may just be different than your's. Studies show men like wetter kisses with lots of tongue action. Us ladies prefer someone who makes the first move, smells and tastes fresh and caresses her while kissing.
Note from L: I just wanted to say- us ladies love a great make out session. We really, really do. It primes our engines for the main event. Its close, it connects us...and really, is just really great to have a hot make out session with our man. So really, this is one you probably shouldn't skip too often!
It seems like the natural next move in the relationship: You've wooed her. You've wined her and dined her. And still no sex. The missing link? Commitment. Don't panic, commitment doesn't have to mean a ring. Make sure we know you're in it, emotionally, for the long haul.
You caress her: most women like to be touched, gently. Gently glide your fingers over her forearm where there are plenty of pleasure nerves just waiting to be touched. Play with our hair. I for one love the feeling of having my hair played with. Caressing us sends signals of affection and trust to the brain.
You make her feel sexy: Establish your compliments safety zone. Listen to what she says about herself and watch how she reacts when you touch her. This will clue you in to the body parts she is insecure about, and let's you know where to tread lightly. She can easily take a well-meaning compliment and turn it negative. You may say "you have a great, round butt" and she hears fat, not great. When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to more generic compliments: "your butt looks great in those jeans".
Your physical appearance turns her on: most women perfer muscle definition to muscle mass (move over, meatheads). Men with big, bulging muscles can appear threatening to a woman. We also know it takes time to build up those big muscles and that is time you won't be spending with us. We're looking for signs of not only health but of commitment too.
She wants to feel emotionally close or connected: start the foreplay outside the bedroom. Rave about the great donuts at the office today. Sharing something upbeat about your day strengthens your relationship. Talking and listening helps maintain emotional intimacy.
She's caught up in the heat of the moment: even if she rolls over its not too late to heat things up. Sidle up to her, spoon her (without anything poking into her back). Cuddling causes her testosterone to surge. Increased T levels spark a response in her clitoris which triggers arousal. Bonus: women feel more sexually attractive the morning after cuddling. Steamy shower sex, anyone?
She thinks it's fun: first, show her how much fun you can be outside the bedroom. Studies have shown that 25% of women are more likely to find a man attractive if he has a good sense of humor (see! its not as cliche as you think it is) and were then 31% more likely to think of him as a suitable mate.
She needs release or just feels horny: Suggest a horror movie marathon. Being scared is physicologically arousing and in the right company this can turn into sexual arousal. After the movie she may find your glances and touches more erotically charged. Just choose your movies wisely. If she isn't into over-the-top-terror she'll be like me and watch it from under the covers. We went her to be turned on and charged up, not fearing for her life.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: it would appear the old adage is true. Take that business trip. While you're away her positive feelings of closeness, meaningfulness and appreciation will likely decline. However, upon your return they will return full force and surge to an all-time high. Just make sure you call while you're away to help reduce the chance of the negative feelings sticking around upon your return.
So there you have it. Some of the main reasons we have sex with you. None of it is rocket science. For us sex goes deeper than just the primal need. Yes, we get horny too, but beyond that we need to know you're there for us, and it starts outside the bedroom.
Happy sexing!
xoxo
L
While we know why you, boys, enjoy sex, her reasons often remain slightly more mysterious. Lucky for you I'm here to decode some of that mystery for you! Yes, you can thank me later!
You're a good kisser: So what if you're not a hormonal teenager anymore. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session. In fact, a well executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. Unlike men, we women are less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds simple enough, right? Down boy. Her definition of a great kiss may just be different than your's. Studies show men like wetter kisses with lots of tongue action. Us ladies prefer someone who makes the first move, smells and tastes fresh and caresses her while kissing.
Note from L: I just wanted to say- us ladies love a great make out session. We really, really do. It primes our engines for the main event. Its close, it connects us...and really, is just really great to have a hot make out session with our man. So really, this is one you probably shouldn't skip too often!
It seems like the natural next move in the relationship: You've wooed her. You've wined her and dined her. And still no sex. The missing link? Commitment. Don't panic, commitment doesn't have to mean a ring. Make sure we know you're in it, emotionally, for the long haul.
You caress her: most women like to be touched, gently. Gently glide your fingers over her forearm where there are plenty of pleasure nerves just waiting to be touched. Play with our hair. I for one love the feeling of having my hair played with. Caressing us sends signals of affection and trust to the brain.
You make her feel sexy: Establish your compliments safety zone. Listen to what she says about herself and watch how she reacts when you touch her. This will clue you in to the body parts she is insecure about, and let's you know where to tread lightly. She can easily take a well-meaning compliment and turn it negative. You may say "you have a great, round butt" and she hears fat, not great. When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to more generic compliments: "your butt looks great in those jeans".
Your physical appearance turns her on: most women perfer muscle definition to muscle mass (move over, meatheads). Men with big, bulging muscles can appear threatening to a woman. We also know it takes time to build up those big muscles and that is time you won't be spending with us. We're looking for signs of not only health but of commitment too.
She wants to feel emotionally close or connected: start the foreplay outside the bedroom. Rave about the great donuts at the office today. Sharing something upbeat about your day strengthens your relationship. Talking and listening helps maintain emotional intimacy.
She's caught up in the heat of the moment: even if she rolls over its not too late to heat things up. Sidle up to her, spoon her (without anything poking into her back). Cuddling causes her testosterone to surge. Increased T levels spark a response in her clitoris which triggers arousal. Bonus: women feel more sexually attractive the morning after cuddling. Steamy shower sex, anyone?
She thinks it's fun: first, show her how much fun you can be outside the bedroom. Studies have shown that 25% of women are more likely to find a man attractive if he has a good sense of humor (see! its not as cliche as you think it is) and were then 31% more likely to think of him as a suitable mate.
She needs release or just feels horny: Suggest a horror movie marathon. Being scared is physicologically arousing and in the right company this can turn into sexual arousal. After the movie she may find your glances and touches more erotically charged. Just choose your movies wisely. If she isn't into over-the-top-terror she'll be like me and watch it from under the covers. We went her to be turned on and charged up, not fearing for her life.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: it would appear the old adage is true. Take that business trip. While you're away her positive feelings of closeness, meaningfulness and appreciation will likely decline. However, upon your return they will return full force and surge to an all-time high. Just make sure you call while you're away to help reduce the chance of the negative feelings sticking around upon your return.
So there you have it. Some of the main reasons we have sex with you. None of it is rocket science. For us sex goes deeper than just the primal need. Yes, we get horny too, but beyond that we need to know you're there for us, and it starts outside the bedroom.
Happy sexing!
xoxo
L
Let's talk about sex
I recently read an article (though don't remember where) where some 1000 women were polled about what works and what doesn't in bed.
Generally, the two main concerns among men when it comes to sex is their penises aren't big enough or they won't last long enough.
Women have their own slew of insecurities when it comes to sex. Their weight, being one, and the length of time it takes them to reach orgasm being another.
When asked independantly of eachother, men and women are more than willing to talk about sex. The next step is to get them to talk about it with eachother. Most men and women want to know if they are doing something wrong. Most men are open to guidance for their lady, so long as she does it nicely. So ladies, speak up already!
Ok, back to one of the male insecurities for a second: you think you don't long enough. Rest assured boys, that is not as big a concern for us as it is for you. Most women agree their man lasts long enough. A smaller percentage agree you usually do, but there are times when it doesn't always happen. So guys, stop worrying. You're doing just fine!
Two common complaints among women are: "he doesn't know how to touch me" and "same moves all the time". Another one heard frequently among women is "just when I'm getting into it, I tell him not to move...he moves." Ok guys, learn to touch us the way we like to be touched. Follow our lead. If we place our hand on top of yours to guide you, go with us. And when we're getting in the groove of something and we tell you not to move DON'T MOVE. Keep doing whatever it is you're doing. If we've become vocal enough to tell you not to move, believe me when I say its working. Keep going. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Keep on truckin my friend!
The most common complaint among both men and women is: we don't have sex often enough.
How do we rectify this? We make sex better. And how to we make sex better? We talk about it.
Both parties seem to be pretty open to criticism. However, when asked if they provide feedback to their partners a strong portion said they hadn't. You're both open to hearing it but neither of you are giving it. Why? Fear of hurting the other's feelings seems to be the common response. Though would it surprise you if I told you you likely won't hurt the other's feelings if you do it nicely? And would it also surprise you if I told you that most men (who received feedback) said the sex got better after? And most women said he responded better after providing feedback? Most people agree the best time to provide this feedback is in the midst of the action. No, really. If it doesn't feel right, say so. Think of it as on-the-job-training, so to speak. Though some sex therapists say its best to wait until you're out of the bedroom to discuss these things.
Now, let's talk a second about the positives.
Most men polled say they rock out the foreplay skills (and yet most women said they want more of it), 1 in 3 men say they are oral masters (again, most women said they want more oral). What are women proud of? One woman said she loved the fact she could get him excited even when he's dead tired. Over a quarter of the women said they were proud of the oral skills and a slightly lower percentage said they were proud of the flexibility when changing positions.
So, the short of the long of it is: both parties want feedback, but neither side seems to be giving it. Improving your sexlife doesn't have to be a stilted discussion. In fact it is probably best done with in-the-throes of passion encouragement, rather than just blatantly pointing out flaws. Moaning, increased urgancy and verbal enthusiasm will tell your partner what turns you on, while gentle redirection will tell them what doesn't.
Most men and women agree that to have great sex you have to have an emotional connection. Open your eyes, savor the moment. Take a deep breath, make and maintain eye contact between kisses. Be aware of every touch, every caress and be open to conveying your pleasure. The more emotionally connected you are the less guarded sex will become.
xoxo
L
Generally, the two main concerns among men when it comes to sex is their penises aren't big enough or they won't last long enough.
Women have their own slew of insecurities when it comes to sex. Their weight, being one, and the length of time it takes them to reach orgasm being another.
When asked independantly of eachother, men and women are more than willing to talk about sex. The next step is to get them to talk about it with eachother. Most men and women want to know if they are doing something wrong. Most men are open to guidance for their lady, so long as she does it nicely. So ladies, speak up already!
Ok, back to one of the male insecurities for a second: you think you don't long enough. Rest assured boys, that is not as big a concern for us as it is for you. Most women agree their man lasts long enough. A smaller percentage agree you usually do, but there are times when it doesn't always happen. So guys, stop worrying. You're doing just fine!
Two common complaints among women are: "he doesn't know how to touch me" and "same moves all the time". Another one heard frequently among women is "just when I'm getting into it, I tell him not to move...he moves." Ok guys, learn to touch us the way we like to be touched. Follow our lead. If we place our hand on top of yours to guide you, go with us. And when we're getting in the groove of something and we tell you not to move DON'T MOVE. Keep doing whatever it is you're doing. If we've become vocal enough to tell you not to move, believe me when I say its working. Keep going. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Keep on truckin my friend!
The most common complaint among both men and women is: we don't have sex often enough.
How do we rectify this? We make sex better. And how to we make sex better? We talk about it.
Both parties seem to be pretty open to criticism. However, when asked if they provide feedback to their partners a strong portion said they hadn't. You're both open to hearing it but neither of you are giving it. Why? Fear of hurting the other's feelings seems to be the common response. Though would it surprise you if I told you you likely won't hurt the other's feelings if you do it nicely? And would it also surprise you if I told you that most men (who received feedback) said the sex got better after? And most women said he responded better after providing feedback? Most people agree the best time to provide this feedback is in the midst of the action. No, really. If it doesn't feel right, say so. Think of it as on-the-job-training, so to speak. Though some sex therapists say its best to wait until you're out of the bedroom to discuss these things.
Now, let's talk a second about the positives.
Most men polled say they rock out the foreplay skills (and yet most women said they want more of it), 1 in 3 men say they are oral masters (again, most women said they want more oral). What are women proud of? One woman said she loved the fact she could get him excited even when he's dead tired. Over a quarter of the women said they were proud of the oral skills and a slightly lower percentage said they were proud of the flexibility when changing positions.
So, the short of the long of it is: both parties want feedback, but neither side seems to be giving it. Improving your sexlife doesn't have to be a stilted discussion. In fact it is probably best done with in-the-throes of passion encouragement, rather than just blatantly pointing out flaws. Moaning, increased urgancy and verbal enthusiasm will tell your partner what turns you on, while gentle redirection will tell them what doesn't.
Most men and women agree that to have great sex you have to have an emotional connection. Open your eyes, savor the moment. Take a deep breath, make and maintain eye contact between kisses. Be aware of every touch, every caress and be open to conveying your pleasure. The more emotionally connected you are the less guarded sex will become.
xoxo
L
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Places to have sex outside this summer
There are many things to love about summer: going to the beach, iced coffee, or perhaps another season of Big Brother. Not the least of which is outdoor sex. Much like margaritas, sex can be even better when enjoyed al fresco. When the weather is warm and your horomones are fired up, here is a list of places to get it on this summer!
Your own backyard. This can be a great place to experiment with outdoor sex. You get all the sensory benefits of an outdoor experience while still having a bit of privacy.
On a roof, in a city, under the stars. The faint sound of traffic and people walking the streets your background soundtrack.
On a boat. Let the motion of the ocean set your pace.
In a tent in the woods. Just be sure to spray yourselves down with bug spray frist. Fly bites on naughty bits are no fun. No fun at all.
In the woods. Don't have a tent? Ok, no big. Go for a hike and somewhere along the way make yourselves horozontal and work up a different kind of sweat. There is just something raw and primal about having sex in nature. So yeah, try it.
On a big rock. (Hmmm...interesting. Never considered this one.)
In a dark alley. No safe, dark allies nearby? Thats ok, behind the movie theatre will do just fine!
On a picnic blanket on the beach. Just to make sure we're clear: ON a blanket. Sand in girly parts is a bit of a mood killer. Since we associate the beach with fun, vacation-like time, seaside loving can be quite exciting!
On a tire swing. I'll leave you to figure out the logistics of that one!
In a tree house. Don't have one? Borrow the 12-year old neighbour's. I'm sure they won't mind.
In a convertible with the top down. Just be sure to pull over first. (I know, it should go without saying, however when the mood strikes the mood strikes)
As always, sex is supposed to be fun. And outdoor sex just amps up the fun and makes it more primal. Just one small tip: do plan well where your outdoor adventure will take place. The last thing we want is for you to wind up with a public indecency charge. Much like fly bites on the naughty bits, that would be bad. Very very bad.
Got any to add? Any tried, tested and true locales for getting it on? Any that were an absolute flop? Let us know!
xoxo
L
Monday, May 23, 2011
Positions she enjoys
This just in: women like sex. They fantasize about sex just as much, if not more, as their male counterparts. Our fantasies cover the broad spectrum and various levels of kink. They almost always, however, include one of the five most popular positions among most women. The reason being is these positions include a perfect balance between difficulty and maximum pleasure. In other words, with these positions women enjoy loads of pleasure with minimal effort required to pull them off (yes, minimal effort. Really, who wants to have to deal with a flow chart to try to figure out the logistics of some positions? Yeah, I didn't think you would).
Now, don't worry. This isn't to say we don't love some of your favorites as well. We do. Sometimes we're good with acrobatic sex. When it comes down to the nitty gritty of it, there are some positions that just get women more wet than others.
Below is a list of the five most popular positions among women. Take note of them, boys. More importantly, USE THEM.
Private Lap Dance. Her on top. Many women love being on top for one simple reason: it makes her feel like she's in charge. And power is a heady aphrodisiac. Let her climb aboard and ride you off into the sunset. It may be tempting to just sit back and enjoy the ride, however if you want to really rock her world trace her breasts with your fingers or your tongue, trace your fingers down her sides. If she's on top facing you you also have access to a certain other hot spot of our's. Go there. No really, go there.
The comfort zone. aka: missionary. Don't overlook this one. It has potential for sorching hot sex. Why we like it? It feels great, and doesn't require gymnastics skills to pull it off. Take charge: lay her down, spread her legs apart by gently sliding your knee between them, place her wrists above her head and show her what you're made of. We often like displays of dominance in the bedroom (it is quite manly, you know) and this one allows you to be as subtle with it or as overt as you like. Want to take it to another level? Talk dirty. Lean in close and whisper a little something-something in her ear.
Stand at attention. Have her sit on a surface that stands level with your waist, then penetrate her as deeply as possible. The further her legs are spread the better (though remember what we said about acobatics? Yeah, some of us aren't that kind of flexible, so be gentle). Because her parts are now lined up with your parts this makes deep thrusting possible and incredibly easy for you, which also increases her chances of a g-spot O. So, clear a spot on the kitchen counter and get to it! (some men orgasm quite quickly with this one due to the deep thrusting. Don't be afraid to slow down, take a few deep breaths to get yourself under control again. Use this time for some manual stimulation on her)
Spoonful. The spoon makes for fabulous sex. Women like the feeling of her man's chest agaisnt her back and his arms wrapped around her. She also loves the feeling of being penetrated from behind. Why we love this? Because it is comfortable and still allows you to play with our breasts and our clitoris - and honestly most women can't get enough of that.
So, slide in behind her, pull her bottom backward and gently lift her leg up and back over your hip. Having her thighs speparated like this will make her feel delightfully naughty, and she'll probably arch her body to give you more access. Its comfortable and we enjoy it. Expect a great deal of moaning to ensue.
Hot diggity dog. Surprised to see doggy on the list? Many women love it (I'm one of them). In most cases we're wanting more than your average porn-flick style doggy. We want it to be a bit more intimate. Lean forward, whisper in our ear. Reach around and toy with our clit. Switch it up, pull us up into a kneeling position while you thrust. Women love doggy as long as you don't make us feel like objects.
As I mentioned earlier women love sex. We really do. And most of us will like at least one of these ones I just mentioned. Do remember, however, we may not like them all. Follow her cues, she'll pretty quickly tell you what she likes and what she doesn't. She will, however, likely be willing to experiment through them all for the sake of keeping things fresh. We do on occasion like kinky positions but sometimes we just want a man to penetrate us in a way we know will provide us with maximum pleasure. And one of these is sure to do it!
xoxo
L
Now, don't worry. This isn't to say we don't love some of your favorites as well. We do. Sometimes we're good with acrobatic sex. When it comes down to the nitty gritty of it, there are some positions that just get women more wet than others.
Below is a list of the five most popular positions among women. Take note of them, boys. More importantly, USE THEM.
Private Lap Dance. Her on top. Many women love being on top for one simple reason: it makes her feel like she's in charge. And power is a heady aphrodisiac. Let her climb aboard and ride you off into the sunset. It may be tempting to just sit back and enjoy the ride, however if you want to really rock her world trace her breasts with your fingers or your tongue, trace your fingers down her sides. If she's on top facing you you also have access to a certain other hot spot of our's. Go there. No really, go there.
The comfort zone. aka: missionary. Don't overlook this one. It has potential for sorching hot sex. Why we like it? It feels great, and doesn't require gymnastics skills to pull it off. Take charge: lay her down, spread her legs apart by gently sliding your knee between them, place her wrists above her head and show her what you're made of. We often like displays of dominance in the bedroom (it is quite manly, you know) and this one allows you to be as subtle with it or as overt as you like. Want to take it to another level? Talk dirty. Lean in close and whisper a little something-something in her ear.
Stand at attention. Have her sit on a surface that stands level with your waist, then penetrate her as deeply as possible. The further her legs are spread the better (though remember what we said about acobatics? Yeah, some of us aren't that kind of flexible, so be gentle). Because her parts are now lined up with your parts this makes deep thrusting possible and incredibly easy for you, which also increases her chances of a g-spot O. So, clear a spot on the kitchen counter and get to it! (some men orgasm quite quickly with this one due to the deep thrusting. Don't be afraid to slow down, take a few deep breaths to get yourself under control again. Use this time for some manual stimulation on her)
Spoonful. The spoon makes for fabulous sex. Women like the feeling of her man's chest agaisnt her back and his arms wrapped around her. She also loves the feeling of being penetrated from behind. Why we love this? Because it is comfortable and still allows you to play with our breasts and our clitoris - and honestly most women can't get enough of that.
So, slide in behind her, pull her bottom backward and gently lift her leg up and back over your hip. Having her thighs speparated like this will make her feel delightfully naughty, and she'll probably arch her body to give you more access. Its comfortable and we enjoy it. Expect a great deal of moaning to ensue.
Hot diggity dog. Surprised to see doggy on the list? Many women love it (I'm one of them). In most cases we're wanting more than your average porn-flick style doggy. We want it to be a bit more intimate. Lean forward, whisper in our ear. Reach around and toy with our clit. Switch it up, pull us up into a kneeling position while you thrust. Women love doggy as long as you don't make us feel like objects.
As I mentioned earlier women love sex. We really do. And most of us will like at least one of these ones I just mentioned. Do remember, however, we may not like them all. Follow her cues, she'll pretty quickly tell you what she likes and what she doesn't. She will, however, likely be willing to experiment through them all for the sake of keeping things fresh. We do on occasion like kinky positions but sometimes we just want a man to penetrate us in a way we know will provide us with maximum pleasure. And one of these is sure to do it!
xoxo
L
Monday, May 16, 2011
Get a room
It is so easy in our day to day lives to forget to revel in the body of our beloved. There are dishes to be done, bills to pay, errands to run, and kids who have homework to be done. These things, among many others, make it difficult to remember to tap into our inner carnal desires. It is easy to lose sight of eachother when Fido is begging to be walked while your partner is fighting with your oldest to eat their broccoli. Removing yourselves for a night (or two) to a hotel to get away from it all can help you reconnect and respark some passion.
So now, with room key in hand, slip upstairs, close the door and leave the rest of the world behind.
Hotels offer couples a private, bed focused space that that encourages inhibitions to let loose. If budgets allow this can be a luxurious and indulging experience. Even in the cheaper hotels there is a bed and a door that closes to the rest of the world (want a nicer hotel at a 2-star price? Make use of some of those online discount booking sites - they definitely make such a rendez vous more budget friendly). Make this a safe, secret place where no fantasy is taboo and sensuality is the focus.
Guys, you get bonus points if you actually plan ahead and surprise us with a night away. So, find a hotel, book the room, arrange a babysitter then tell us its already done all we have to do is pack a bag and we're on our way. Wine on ice and flowers waiting for us earn you even more points. Jus'sayin.
Most hotels these days have room service. Use it. Order up a bottle of wine and some chocolate covered strawberries. If they have a spa book massages to allow you to relax. If there is something else you want or need ask the hotel staff. Trust me, they've heard and seen it all. Don't be shy, ask.
Because you're not at home automatically your normal, usual patterns are disrupted leaving space for eroticism and fantasy. And you're leaving soon so there is a sense of anonymity and urgency which heightens your senses. And you're not sure if people can see in, but the idea is sexy. If you're in a multistory hotel pull the drapes open and go at it. Odds are no one will be able to see in, unless you're right next to an equally tall building, but the thought that somone could maybe possibly catch you is exhilarating. It feels public without being public.
Picture it ladies: you've just stepped out of the shower, you walk out onto the balcony in your robe to admire the view, he comes up behind you, slips a hand under your robe.......... (heh?!...) if you're more adventurous you can keep going right there, have him bend you over the balcony railing. Not quite so adventurous, let him continue fondling you under robe then move inside for the main event. Seriously, how could you not find either of those options intensely hot?
So, make yourselves a reservation, check in and make use of that do not disturb sign. Most importantly enjoy! That is, afterall, what this is all about.
Got a hot hotel sex story? We want to hear it! As always if you prefer some anonymity feel free to email either of us, we'll be more than happy to post for you!
xoxo
L
So now, with room key in hand, slip upstairs, close the door and leave the rest of the world behind.
Hotels offer couples a private, bed focused space that that encourages inhibitions to let loose. If budgets allow this can be a luxurious and indulging experience. Even in the cheaper hotels there is a bed and a door that closes to the rest of the world (want a nicer hotel at a 2-star price? Make use of some of those online discount booking sites - they definitely make such a rendez vous more budget friendly). Make this a safe, secret place where no fantasy is taboo and sensuality is the focus.
Guys, you get bonus points if you actually plan ahead and surprise us with a night away. So, find a hotel, book the room, arrange a babysitter then tell us its already done all we have to do is pack a bag and we're on our way. Wine on ice and flowers waiting for us earn you even more points. Jus'sayin.
Most hotels these days have room service. Use it. Order up a bottle of wine and some chocolate covered strawberries. If they have a spa book massages to allow you to relax. If there is something else you want or need ask the hotel staff. Trust me, they've heard and seen it all. Don't be shy, ask.
Because you're not at home automatically your normal, usual patterns are disrupted leaving space for eroticism and fantasy. And you're leaving soon so there is a sense of anonymity and urgency which heightens your senses. And you're not sure if people can see in, but the idea is sexy. If you're in a multistory hotel pull the drapes open and go at it. Odds are no one will be able to see in, unless you're right next to an equally tall building, but the thought that somone could maybe possibly catch you is exhilarating. It feels public without being public.
Picture it ladies: you've just stepped out of the shower, you walk out onto the balcony in your robe to admire the view, he comes up behind you, slips a hand under your robe.......... (heh?!...) if you're more adventurous you can keep going right there, have him bend you over the balcony railing. Not quite so adventurous, let him continue fondling you under robe then move inside for the main event. Seriously, how could you not find either of those options intensely hot?
So, make yourselves a reservation, check in and make use of that do not disturb sign. Most importantly enjoy! That is, afterall, what this is all about.
Got a hot hotel sex story? We want to hear it! As always if you prefer some anonymity feel free to email either of us, we'll be more than happy to post for you!
xoxo
L
The art of quickie sex
Ok boys, we know there are times when all you want to do is take your woman and have your sexual way with her, and get on with your day without having to go through all the foreplay and afterplay process. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with quickie sex. Believe it or not there are plenty of women who enjoy it just as much as you do, with out all the fluffy stuff.
The catch, however, is that you have to know how to go about enjoying a quickie without making her feel like you're going to roll over, light a cigarette and leave a crisp twenty on the nightstand.
Read on....
Foreplay, all day
Foreplay isn't something you do ten minutes before you plan to stick your willy in her. Foreplay should be something you do all the time. Whether its complimenting her on the way she smells, or the way she looks, or calling her in the middle of the day to tell her you were imagining yourself licking her, foreplay is something that keeps her mentally stimulated.And if she knows you desire her all the time then bending her over the kitchen table when you get home for a quick one that is all about innate desire is a wonderful thing. And she'll think so too.
Talk to her
Prepare her for what is going to happen. Obviously, don't give her a play-by-play, rather make a sexual comment about her body that will get her thinking.Kiss her first
Before you start pumping and pounding away kiss her. A deep, slow, wet kiss. Make her melt and turn her on.Feed her ego
While you're touching her in places the sun doesn't shine, tell her you've been thinking all day about getting your hands on her. Make her feel sexy by boosting her sexual morale.
Make sure she's wet
Really, its only fair. Make sure she's lubricated before you put your manhood inside her. The last thing you want to do is hurt her. Gently feel around her girly bits to make sure she's wet before you attempt to put yourself inside her.
Don't create a comfortable atmosphere
Forget about the candles and seductive music. That isn't what a quickie is about. Its about spontaneity. It is totally ok if you're in the living room, the TV is on and your pants are around your ankles. Thats the beauty of spontaneous, passionate, quickie sex.
(still with me?......)
Let her know you're excited
Make some noise. Moan and groan. Let her know you're excited and its not just about the release - even if it is. I'm not saying to start screaming like a girl, but give her some indication you're into it.
Put her on top
But don't say "I want to see you on top". Put her there. Like, physically put her there. Putting her in a dominant position will accomplish a few things. First, for some women, her being on top increases her chances of reaching orgasm. And it'll make her feel less like she's being taken over, though so women do enjoy that.
Don't ignore her
You don't have to stay and cuddle for an hour after, but don't make her feel like she doesn't exist either. If you were watching TV before, then sit with her, put your arm around her for a bit afterwards, if she was in the kitchen then pull yourself away for a bit and go hangout in the kitchen with her. Basically, don't make her feel like what just occurred was only about you. Keep in mind many women feel their most vulnerable after sex. So pay her a bit of attention afterwards.
Don't make it habit.
While quick, unadulterated sex is great on occasion don't make it habit. If you constantly barrage her with 5-minute sessions she'll get bored and so well you. So don't make it norm.
Remember its about both of you. Although 5-minutes isn't usually enough time for most women to reach orgasm, a quickie can still be exciting and equally pleasurable for both of you, so long as you're not completely insensitive to her.
And remember, if you keep a woman's mind excited her body will follow.
Now go, have fun and make it quick!
xoxo
LWednesday, May 11, 2011
M I A
Hi all...
Just wanted to pop in to apologize for my absence. Things have been a tad crazy in my life for the last few weeks and a few things had to take position on the back burner. Once things quiet down, hopefully in a week or two, I'll be back with you!
Sit tight! You won't be rid of me that easily!
xoxo
L
Just wanted to pop in to apologize for my absence. Things have been a tad crazy in my life for the last few weeks and a few things had to take position on the back burner. Once things quiet down, hopefully in a week or two, I'll be back with you!
Sit tight! You won't be rid of me that easily!
xoxo
L
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Zones
The erogenous zones, that is.
Curiosity is part of the male genetic makeup. So for that reason many of you remain curious about what turns women on. What spot can you touch that will absolutely drive her crazy? Well, boys, today is your lucky day! Are you ready to take the journey through a woman's body? You are? Oh good! Let's get started, shall we?
1) Inner thighs. The inner thighs are highly sensitive to touch. Just like the backs of the knees the inner thigh has many nerve endings. So, lick, touch, lightly stroke. Do not, however, bite as this will cause her pain which in turn will cause you pain. So, play nicely. And the inner thigh is not a part of the body you can accidently bump into. You have to intentionally go for it. And her knowing you're making a point of paying attention to that part of the body amps up the turn on factor.
2) Derriere. Yes, many women like it when you play with her backside. A lot of women like squeezing and spanking. Again, be gentle. Fondle and caress. Just remember, this isn't a pigsking you're handling here.
3) Nape of the neck. A weak spot for many women (I would be one of them). Just breathing on this part of her body will give her goosebumps. So imagine her reaction if you lick or kiss the area. If she's like me she'll see stars. Use your hands, pull her hair aside and start planting kisses. I guarantee you this little gem will get her engines running.
4) Ears. Many women enjoy having their ears licked and sucked. Blowing in her ear, however, isn't necessarily what she enjoys. Also, try whispering in her ear. Though do try to pick something other than "Hey, can you wish my gym shorts for me tonight?" - that will have the exact opposite reaction you're going for. Instead try to be a little erotic and even romantic.
5) Feet. While not my first choice of places to be touched many women do enjoy having their feet rubbed and massaged, and some even enjoy having their feet licked and sucked. Many women find a foot massage to be relaxing, and a relaxed lady is more receptive to you and your touches.
6) Wrists. Yes, we have wrists - an often ignored part of our bodies. Next time you're heading into foreplay with your lady try caressing and kissing her wrists and just check out how turned on she'll likely become. )
7) Breasts. Big shock here, right. The breasts and nipples are very sexually sensitive. Gentle fondling, squeezing, caressing, licking and sucking can be very arousing. However, go easy on our nipples. We don't want to feel like we're being clamped on to like a vise.
8) Vagina/Clitoris. Another big shocker here. The clitoris can be stimulated with the tongue or the finger, or, if you're the multitasking type, both at the same time. Many women will give their lovers to show them the amount of pressure they enjoy. If she's not the type to guide you make sure you pay attention to her. If she gets squirmmy make sure its because she's enjoying it and not because you're giving her an "annoying" feeling.
9) Lips. This is the number one erogoneous zone for many women. If you know how to manipulate her lips correctly through licking, sucking, biting and kissing it is very possible that kiss will lead to a lot more than just a kiss.
Remember, all women are different and we each have our own likes and dislikes. Get to know her body and experiment. There is so much more to a woman's body than just her sexual organs.
Until next time, let your exploration begin!
xoxo
-L
Curiosity is part of the male genetic makeup. So for that reason many of you remain curious about what turns women on. What spot can you touch that will absolutely drive her crazy? Well, boys, today is your lucky day! Are you ready to take the journey through a woman's body? You are? Oh good! Let's get started, shall we?
1) Inner thighs. The inner thighs are highly sensitive to touch. Just like the backs of the knees the inner thigh has many nerve endings. So, lick, touch, lightly stroke. Do not, however, bite as this will cause her pain which in turn will cause you pain. So, play nicely. And the inner thigh is not a part of the body you can accidently bump into. You have to intentionally go for it. And her knowing you're making a point of paying attention to that part of the body amps up the turn on factor.
2) Derriere. Yes, many women like it when you play with her backside. A lot of women like squeezing and spanking. Again, be gentle. Fondle and caress. Just remember, this isn't a pigsking you're handling here.
3) Nape of the neck. A weak spot for many women (I would be one of them). Just breathing on this part of her body will give her goosebumps. So imagine her reaction if you lick or kiss the area. If she's like me she'll see stars. Use your hands, pull her hair aside and start planting kisses. I guarantee you this little gem will get her engines running.
4) Ears. Many women enjoy having their ears licked and sucked. Blowing in her ear, however, isn't necessarily what she enjoys. Also, try whispering in her ear. Though do try to pick something other than "Hey, can you wish my gym shorts for me tonight?" - that will have the exact opposite reaction you're going for. Instead try to be a little erotic and even romantic.
5) Feet. While not my first choice of places to be touched many women do enjoy having their feet rubbed and massaged, and some even enjoy having their feet licked and sucked. Many women find a foot massage to be relaxing, and a relaxed lady is more receptive to you and your touches.
6) Wrists. Yes, we have wrists - an often ignored part of our bodies. Next time you're heading into foreplay with your lady try caressing and kissing her wrists and just check out how turned on she'll likely become. )
7) Breasts. Big shock here, right. The breasts and nipples are very sexually sensitive. Gentle fondling, squeezing, caressing, licking and sucking can be very arousing. However, go easy on our nipples. We don't want to feel like we're being clamped on to like a vise.
8) Vagina/Clitoris. Another big shocker here. The clitoris can be stimulated with the tongue or the finger, or, if you're the multitasking type, both at the same time. Many women will give their lovers to show them the amount of pressure they enjoy. If she's not the type to guide you make sure you pay attention to her. If she gets squirmmy make sure its because she's enjoying it and not because you're giving her an "annoying" feeling.
9) Lips. This is the number one erogoneous zone for many women. If you know how to manipulate her lips correctly through licking, sucking, biting and kissing it is very possible that kiss will lead to a lot more than just a kiss.
Remember, all women are different and we each have our own likes and dislikes. Get to know her body and experiment. There is so much more to a woman's body than just her sexual organs.
Until next time, let your exploration begin!
xoxo
-L
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Bucket List
Whether we realize it or not we've all got a bucket list of things we want to accomplish in our day-to-day lives. Whether it be stuff we want to do today, tomorrow, next month or next year we've all got things we want to do in our lives. I'm willing to put money on saying the majority of those lists don't include things to accomplish sexually, in (or out of) the bedroom. And why not? Why not create a Sexy Bucket List? Personally, I think its a great idea!
Be creative, give it some thought, push some limits. Don't be afraid to be honest with what you want to try, and don't be afraid to put something on the list that you never thought you'd try. And at the same time don't be afraid to put some fun, silly things on the list too.
So, here is your homework assignment: create a list. Yes, really. No, I'm not kidding. Make a list. Whether it be 5 things or 50 things make that list, then put it into action. I guarantee you it'll open your eyes to new, fun and exciting things! You can thank me later!
Oh, one last thing: we want to know what is on your lists! Is it to try light bondage? Sex in a public place? Join the mile high club? We want to know! Leave us a comment, or if you prefer some anonymity send us an email, and we'll post for you! You can find both email addresses in our profiles on the right side of the page.
HAVE FUN!
xoxo
-L
Be creative, give it some thought, push some limits. Don't be afraid to be honest with what you want to try, and don't be afraid to put something on the list that you never thought you'd try. And at the same time don't be afraid to put some fun, silly things on the list too.
So, here is your homework assignment: create a list. Yes, really. No, I'm not kidding. Make a list. Whether it be 5 things or 50 things make that list, then put it into action. I guarantee you it'll open your eyes to new, fun and exciting things! You can thank me later!
Oh, one last thing: we want to know what is on your lists! Is it to try light bondage? Sex in a public place? Join the mile high club? We want to know! Leave us a comment, or if you prefer some anonymity send us an email, and we'll post for you! You can find both email addresses in our profiles on the right side of the page.
HAVE FUN!
xoxo
-L
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