The situation: you're doing everything right, and yet she's still not getting off.
The newsflash: her pleasure (or lack thereof) isn't always about you.
More often than not women fake orgasms because of their own insecurities rather than their partner's wrongdoings. (insert sigh of relief here guys)
Rumour has it women fake it for a variety of reasons: they're embarassed about their abilities; they're afraid of being intimate; they're tired and just want to stop; and- wait, what? they fake it to increase their own excitement.
Around 60% of women have faked an orgasm, while 80% actually have them. So there is proof that her trickery isn't a reflection of your own skills. Cause for celebration, right?
Not so fast. Women cite a dozen motives for not achieving orgasm: fatigue, not enough clitoral stimulation, and preoccupation with work, school, kids are all major factors - but a lack of foreplay won hands down.
So, want to help transition her from faking it to the real deal? Spend the time it takes to help her get there. That wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am stuff doesn't work for us. It works for you, we know. We also know you get off just about every single time. Don't you think its only fair that she get her jollies too? Take the time, show an interest in her and her pleasure. Soon enough she'll join you in basking in the joy of real Os!
xoxo
L
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Her sounds decoded
Deciphering what she wants in bed is a great mystery. Something along the lines of the mystery of the Sphinx - only more complicated.
A recent study reports women often struggle to express what they want in the bedroom - and many have trouble recognizing their own sexual feelings.
Great.
You may be thinking if she doesn't know how on earth are you supposed to know? Well, there is hope. And here is how you can read her cues:
She says: "Don't stop"
You think: "She's having a good time. I should go harder and faster."
She means: Don't change anything - at all.
Yup, she really means don't change anything. A woman's pleasure points are very specific. Changing, even slightly, can break her orgasm.
She says: Nothing.
You think: She's not enjoying herself.
She means: I'm about to orgasm.
Sure, some women may scream like a porn star on ecstasy- but others will hold their breath and become quiet right before orgasm.
She says: I've been masturbating more recently
You think: Sex with me isn't enough
She means: You make me want more sex.
It is proven that the more sex women have the more they want. See, the more intimate she is with you the more sexual she is feeling in general, making her more likely to have a solo session - or two.
So listen to her. It'll only be to your advantage if you do.
xoxo
L
A recent study reports women often struggle to express what they want in the bedroom - and many have trouble recognizing their own sexual feelings.
Great.
You may be thinking if she doesn't know how on earth are you supposed to know? Well, there is hope. And here is how you can read her cues:
She says: "Don't stop"
You think: "She's having a good time. I should go harder and faster."
She means: Don't change anything - at all.
Yup, she really means don't change anything. A woman's pleasure points are very specific. Changing, even slightly, can break her orgasm.
She says: Nothing.
You think: She's not enjoying herself.
She means: I'm about to orgasm.
Sure, some women may scream like a porn star on ecstasy- but others will hold their breath and become quiet right before orgasm.
She says: I've been masturbating more recently
You think: Sex with me isn't enough
She means: You make me want more sex.
It is proven that the more sex women have the more they want. See, the more intimate she is with you the more sexual she is feeling in general, making her more likely to have a solo session - or two.
So listen to her. It'll only be to your advantage if you do.
xoxo
L
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Assume the Position
Is your sex life screaming for a system upgrade? Has it withered in frequency or intensity? Or both? It has? Well that doesn't sound fun AT ALL. While its normal for couples to go through slumps and ruts, it shouldn't last for long, and it shouldn't be OK for either of you if it has. If you are finding yourself in such a predicatment, or you just want to be prepared for the next time it does, here is a list of orgasm inducing ways to get your grind on. They're sure to fulfill all your naughty needs!
Faceoff
How: he sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him seated on his lap
Benefit: you control the angle and depth of thrust, and being seated gives support which makes it great for marathon sex!
Cowgirl's Helper
How: similar to the popular cowgirl, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest, and sliding up and down his thighs. But, he helps to support some of your weight by grabbing your hips while he rises to meet your thrust
Benefit: Makes climaxing easier, and female dominant positions delay his climax so everyone wins
Leapfrog
How: this is pretty well the same as doggy, however you keep your hips raised and rest your head on the bed or a pillow
Benefit: creates deeper penetration
Ballet Dancer
How: standing on one foot wrap the other leg around his wasit while he supports you
Benefit: allows for closeness and reconnection
Missionary
How: lie on your back while he lies down facing you
Benefit: simple, elegant, and very effective. And it allows for closeness and eye contact
Doggy
How: you kneel on hands and knees, with his body upright or slightly draped over you he enters from behind
Benefit: allows for deeper penetration, and for clitoral stimulation - do it yourself or have him stimulate you
The Caboose
How: While he sits on the bed back yourself into him, spooning eachother while seated
Benefit: Because you can't see your partner fantasizing is easier, which can add to the excitement.
Reverse Cowgirl
How: with him lying on his back, straddle him facing his feet
Benefit: lets you take control, showing your guy the pace and rhythm you like
Scoop Me Up
How: both of you lie on your sides facing the same direction (a la spooning), bring your knees up slightly while he slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind
Benefit: allows for more skin-to-skin contact
Reverse Scoop
How: From the missionary position, without disengaging, roll onto your sides, facing eachother
Benefit: you get the same full-body contact and get to look into eachother's eyes
Magic Mountain
How: He sits, legs bent, leaning back on his arms. You do the same inching your way toward him until you connect.
Benefit: You'll feel really connected with him being able to look into his eyes. For an addded bonus, grind your clitoris against his pelvis.
The Chairman
How: he sits on the edge of the bed, you sit in his lap facing away
Benefit: this will hit THE spot - as in the G-spot.
The Cowboy
How: He straddles you, and enters you through your semi-closed legs
Benefit: The tightness increases the intensity of penetration
Golden Arch
How: He sits with his legs straight, leaning back on his arms. You inch closer to him, with your knees bent and legs over his thighs, leaning back on your arms
Benefit: Gives you control of the depth, speed, and angle of thrusts
The Seashell
How: Lie on your back, raise your legs all the way up, crossing your ankles behind your own head
Benefit: leaves your hands free for clitoral stimulation. Have him "ride high" so his pubic bone rubs against your clitoris, or "ride low" so the head of his member hits the G-spot.
**if you are among the inflexible, I don't recommend this one. You'll get stuck, and it'll be uncomfortable. For those of you who are...GIVE'ER!
The Om
How: He sits crosslegged (yoga style), you sit in his lap facing him, wrap your legs around him
Benefit: Best for tantric sex, rocking not thrusting is key for this very intimate position
Valedictorian
How: From missionary raise your legs and spread them into a V
Benefit: Allows for increased contact around your girlie bits
xoxo
L
Faceoff
How: he sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him seated on his lap
Benefit: you control the angle and depth of thrust, and being seated gives support which makes it great for marathon sex!
Cowgirl's Helper
How: similar to the popular cowgirl, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest, and sliding up and down his thighs. But, he helps to support some of your weight by grabbing your hips while he rises to meet your thrust
Benefit: Makes climaxing easier, and female dominant positions delay his climax so everyone wins
Leapfrog
How: this is pretty well the same as doggy, however you keep your hips raised and rest your head on the bed or a pillow
Benefit: creates deeper penetration
Ballet Dancer
How: standing on one foot wrap the other leg around his wasit while he supports you
Benefit: allows for closeness and reconnection
Missionary
How: lie on your back while he lies down facing you
Benefit: simple, elegant, and very effective. And it allows for closeness and eye contact
Doggy
How: you kneel on hands and knees, with his body upright or slightly draped over you he enters from behind
Benefit: allows for deeper penetration, and for clitoral stimulation - do it yourself or have him stimulate you
The Caboose
How: While he sits on the bed back yourself into him, spooning eachother while seated
Benefit: Because you can't see your partner fantasizing is easier, which can add to the excitement.
Reverse Cowgirl
How: with him lying on his back, straddle him facing his feet
Benefit: lets you take control, showing your guy the pace and rhythm you like
Scoop Me Up
How: both of you lie on your sides facing the same direction (a la spooning), bring your knees up slightly while he slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind
Benefit: allows for more skin-to-skin contact
Reverse Scoop
How: From the missionary position, without disengaging, roll onto your sides, facing eachother
Benefit: you get the same full-body contact and get to look into eachother's eyes
Magic Mountain
How: He sits, legs bent, leaning back on his arms. You do the same inching your way toward him until you connect.
Benefit: You'll feel really connected with him being able to look into his eyes. For an addded bonus, grind your clitoris against his pelvis.
The Chairman
How: he sits on the edge of the bed, you sit in his lap facing away
Benefit: this will hit THE spot - as in the G-spot.
The Cowboy
How: He straddles you, and enters you through your semi-closed legs
Benefit: The tightness increases the intensity of penetration
Golden Arch
How: He sits with his legs straight, leaning back on his arms. You inch closer to him, with your knees bent and legs over his thighs, leaning back on your arms
Benefit: Gives you control of the depth, speed, and angle of thrusts
The Seashell
How: Lie on your back, raise your legs all the way up, crossing your ankles behind your own head
Benefit: leaves your hands free for clitoral stimulation. Have him "ride high" so his pubic bone rubs against your clitoris, or "ride low" so the head of his member hits the G-spot.
**if you are among the inflexible, I don't recommend this one. You'll get stuck, and it'll be uncomfortable. For those of you who are...GIVE'ER!
The Om
How: He sits crosslegged (yoga style), you sit in his lap facing him, wrap your legs around him
Benefit: Best for tantric sex, rocking not thrusting is key for this very intimate position
Valedictorian
How: From missionary raise your legs and spread them into a V
Benefit: Allows for increased contact around your girlie bits
xoxo
L
Friday, June 17, 2011
Get Your Rub On
She loves massages and she loves sex - imagine her reaction when you put the two together to create a spectacular night she won't soon forget! Whether you're trying to add a little spice to a fizzing romance, or are trying to impress a new lover, a sensual massage may just be your one-way ticket to Pleasureville.
Many men think of giving their lady a massage, but not many actually setp up to the plate: they either fear rejection or they just aren't quite sure how to initiate it. The truth is most women are very receptive to massage, but just how receptive she'll be to a sensual massage depends greatly on her mood. You can start with a more traditional massage then move into more intimate affairs. Here's how to get started:
Prepare
Before you get started you'll need a few things beyond your hands and a body to put them on. Invest in some massage oil that is safe for internal use and a blindfold. It would also be handy to have a few towels closeby.
A few more things to think about before you get started
Give Her a Full-Body Sensual Massage
This doesn't mean you take on the tedious task of massaging every square inch of her. Rather massage her with your body. Make use of your well oiled arms and chest. And don't be afraid to use your mouth and tongue in the mix. Kissing, licking and warm breath on bare flesh often spark a welcomed erotic response.
Use Your Hands in Different Capacities
While you're using one hand to caress her body use the other to explore her nether-regions. Try going for her G-spot to see if you can't bring her to an earth shattering climax. This may be a good time to bring out that blindfold. Removing one of her senses will heighten her others.
Head to the Erogenous Zones
We all know the parts of a woman's body that get the most attention. Areas like the vagina, nipples and feet are targeted because men don't know that women can be aroused in other areas. Her wrists, fingers, ears, the back of her neck and the inside of her elbows are all visited as often as tourists travel to Siberia. Feel free to rub, kiss and lick these neglected areas. She will appreciate your attention to detail.
However don't entirely neglect the classic hot spots like her breasts and her clitoris. She's accustomed to having these areas stimulated and will probably expect them to get some attention too. Take your time, read her body language.
The art of massage, particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat during sex. Be an original lover and give her a night she will want to repeat. Remember, if you treat her to this, she'll likely repay you with a little favor that you'll greatly appreciate.
xoxo
L
Many men think of giving their lady a massage, but not many actually setp up to the plate: they either fear rejection or they just aren't quite sure how to initiate it. The truth is most women are very receptive to massage, but just how receptive she'll be to a sensual massage depends greatly on her mood. You can start with a more traditional massage then move into more intimate affairs. Here's how to get started:
Prepare
Before you get started you'll need a few things beyond your hands and a body to put them on. Invest in some massage oil that is safe for internal use and a blindfold. It would also be handy to have a few towels closeby.
A few more things to think about before you get started
- your hands must be clean and your nails trimmed
- your hands should be warm
- never apply the massage oil directly to her body. place a good amount in your hands, rub them together then begin the massage.
- start gently. you want to arouse her, not bruise her.
Give Her a Full-Body Sensual Massage
This doesn't mean you take on the tedious task of massaging every square inch of her. Rather massage her with your body. Make use of your well oiled arms and chest. And don't be afraid to use your mouth and tongue in the mix. Kissing, licking and warm breath on bare flesh often spark a welcomed erotic response.
Use Your Hands in Different Capacities
While you're using one hand to caress her body use the other to explore her nether-regions. Try going for her G-spot to see if you can't bring her to an earth shattering climax. This may be a good time to bring out that blindfold. Removing one of her senses will heighten her others.
Head to the Erogenous Zones
We all know the parts of a woman's body that get the most attention. Areas like the vagina, nipples and feet are targeted because men don't know that women can be aroused in other areas. Her wrists, fingers, ears, the back of her neck and the inside of her elbows are all visited as often as tourists travel to Siberia. Feel free to rub, kiss and lick these neglected areas. She will appreciate your attention to detail.
However don't entirely neglect the classic hot spots like her breasts and her clitoris. She's accustomed to having these areas stimulated and will probably expect them to get some attention too. Take your time, read her body language.
The art of massage, particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat during sex. Be an original lover and give her a night she will want to repeat. Remember, if you treat her to this, she'll likely repay you with a little favor that you'll greatly appreciate.
xoxo
L
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Secrets of sexually satisfied women
She wants more.
Satisfied women have sex several times a week. And yet there are some who are still left wanting more. Because women have a broad definition of sex this doesn't necessarily mean she wants more intercourse. She may just want to feel sexy more. So, let her know you're thinking about her throughout the day, and lightly tinge it with sex. One way is to ask her about going out to dinner and asking her to wear that one skirt that she knows drives you wild.
She knows she's hot.
Satisfied women don't suffer from low self esteem. They know they're hot. And they know their partners find them extremely sexy. Want your lady to be confident? Don't ever critcize her body. Ever. If you do she won't feel comfortable showing you her body. She'll be worried you think she's fat or ugly.
She'll speak up.
She knows what she wants and will ask for it. A woman comfortable asking for what she wants will be orgasmic more of the time.
Its all about pleasure.
Crazy, but its true: orgasm isn't essential to a woman's satisfaction. (disclaimer: that does not mean it should be OK for your lady to go without them all the time. Got it?) If the sex is good and its pleasurable many women will say that an orgasm isn't necessary. If you relax, she'll relax and will be more likely to hit the O.
Passion Trumps Size.
Yup, also crazy and true. Its really not all about the size of your johnson. It really is more about what you do with it. A very small portion of women will say that penis size matters in overall satisfaction, while the greater majority say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. Passion is what keeps women coming back for more.
xoxo
L
Satisfied women have sex several times a week. And yet there are some who are still left wanting more. Because women have a broad definition of sex this doesn't necessarily mean she wants more intercourse. She may just want to feel sexy more. So, let her know you're thinking about her throughout the day, and lightly tinge it with sex. One way is to ask her about going out to dinner and asking her to wear that one skirt that she knows drives you wild.
She knows she's hot.
Satisfied women don't suffer from low self esteem. They know they're hot. And they know their partners find them extremely sexy. Want your lady to be confident? Don't ever critcize her body. Ever. If you do she won't feel comfortable showing you her body. She'll be worried you think she's fat or ugly.
She'll speak up.
She knows what she wants and will ask for it. A woman comfortable asking for what she wants will be orgasmic more of the time.
Its all about pleasure.
Crazy, but its true: orgasm isn't essential to a woman's satisfaction. (disclaimer: that does not mean it should be OK for your lady to go without them all the time. Got it?) If the sex is good and its pleasurable many women will say that an orgasm isn't necessary. If you relax, she'll relax and will be more likely to hit the O.
Passion Trumps Size.
Yup, also crazy and true. Its really not all about the size of your johnson. It really is more about what you do with it. A very small portion of women will say that penis size matters in overall satisfaction, while the greater majority say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean. Passion is what keeps women coming back for more.
xoxo
L
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Rise and Shine
The alarm clock goes off. What's the first thing you think of? If you're anything like me its usually something to the effect of "how long will it take me to get my first cup of coffee into me?". And that noise. Why must the sound of an alarm clock be so obnoxiously jarring? Its not a happy sound. Sex likely isn't the first thing that pops into your head as you are jolted awake. That 3-hour board meeting this morning might be, but sex likely isn't.
So, instead of trudging off to slug through your day, why not turn that rude awakening into a roll with the 400-thread count hay? Apparently those who engage in morning sex are all-around healthier and happier people.
Give him a sexy wakeup call. Program your alarm to play soft music. Once you're awake slip out of your PJs. Then try this: if he's lying on his back place your hands on his thighs near his manly parts and gently massage small circles. This will increase blood flow to those all important body parts. Which is convenient since that is where you are headed next!
Get fresh. Sneaking off to brush your teeth will not only get rid of dragon breath to make kissing more enjoyable, the mintyness will give him a little extra zip during oral.
Enjoy the view. Part of what makes morning sex so delicious is that in the day light it is hard to hide your so called flaws. Let your insecurities take a back seat in favor of unadulterated passion. Instead of covering up under blankets kick them off so you both get to enjoy the view.
Morning wood? Your guy is hardwired to want sex first thing in the morning. While he sleeps all the testosterone he needs for the day builds up. So, hop aboard and ride off into the sunset rise while he's good and primed.
Get cozy. Since you'll both likely be groggy from just waking up try positions that don't require a ton of effort. Spooning anyone?
Have a quickie. Sunrise sex doesn't have to be a marathon session. If you've got time for it, then great. If you don't this may be the perfect time to indulge in a quickie. Pounce on him when he least expects it. Have a hot makeout session, cop a couple of feels then have at it.
While I'm sure we all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you have my permission to skip it from time to time in favor of a morning session of knocking boots. Sure to put a smile on your face, and start your day off on the right foot!
xoxo
L
So, instead of trudging off to slug through your day, why not turn that rude awakening into a roll with the 400-thread count hay? Apparently those who engage in morning sex are all-around healthier and happier people.
Give him a sexy wakeup call. Program your alarm to play soft music. Once you're awake slip out of your PJs. Then try this: if he's lying on his back place your hands on his thighs near his manly parts and gently massage small circles. This will increase blood flow to those all important body parts. Which is convenient since that is where you are headed next!
Get fresh. Sneaking off to brush your teeth will not only get rid of dragon breath to make kissing more enjoyable, the mintyness will give him a little extra zip during oral.
Enjoy the view. Part of what makes morning sex so delicious is that in the day light it is hard to hide your so called flaws. Let your insecurities take a back seat in favor of unadulterated passion. Instead of covering up under blankets kick them off so you both get to enjoy the view.
Morning wood? Your guy is hardwired to want sex first thing in the morning. While he sleeps all the testosterone he needs for the day builds up. So, hop aboard and ride off into the sun
Get cozy. Since you'll both likely be groggy from just waking up try positions that don't require a ton of effort. Spooning anyone?
Have a quickie. Sunrise sex doesn't have to be a marathon session. If you've got time for it, then great. If you don't this may be the perfect time to indulge in a quickie. Pounce on him when he least expects it. Have a hot makeout session, cop a couple of feels then have at it.
While I'm sure we all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you have my permission to skip it from time to time in favor of a morning session of knocking boots. Sure to put a smile on your face, and start your day off on the right foot!
xoxo
L
Saturday, June 11, 2011
What his sexual tendancies say about him....
Doggy Style.
He's probably a butt man. Ergo his favorite position gives him a view from behind. He is more likely to be studly and not likely a metrosexual. He doesn't manscape, and can often be seen having sex in his tube socks. He's confident and will make you feel protected.
Missionary.
By day he's in a suit, works for the city or the government. On the weekends he can be found on the links. Not a law breaker and plays by the rules.
Tantric.
You met him at yoga. He has a pony tail, and probably hasn't worn deodorant since 1997. And honestly, he kinda smells. He's not all that interested in actually boning you. He more like wants to connect his sexual energy with your aura.
Cowgirl.
Dude is lazy. He wants you to do most of the work. You either climb on and ride him or you ain't gettin any.
Side by side.
He wants your reassurance. He wants to be reassured of your feelings for him. Probably more sensitive than Mr. Doggy.
xoxo
L
He's probably a butt man. Ergo his favorite position gives him a view from behind. He is more likely to be studly and not likely a metrosexual. He doesn't manscape, and can often be seen having sex in his tube socks. He's confident and will make you feel protected.
Missionary.
By day he's in a suit, works for the city or the government. On the weekends he can be found on the links. Not a law breaker and plays by the rules.
Tantric.
You met him at yoga. He has a pony tail, and probably hasn't worn deodorant since 1997. And honestly, he kinda smells. He's not all that interested in actually boning you. He more like wants to connect his sexual energy with your aura.
Cowgirl.
Dude is lazy. He wants you to do most of the work. You either climb on and ride him or you ain't gettin any.
Side by side.
He wants your reassurance. He wants to be reassured of your feelings for him. Probably more sensitive than Mr. Doggy.
xoxo
L
Pucker Up
I'm sure we've mentioned it a few times here that there is just something about a good kiss. A great kiss. And a hot makeout session.
I'm not entirely sure I believe there are bad kissers out there. I think it more comes down to there being a lack of connection between Kisser A and Kisser B. Having that connection is what allows for an electrifying lip-lock and prevents a ho-hum smooch.
So let's just assume you've got that connection: physically, emotionally and chemically. There are ways to up the voltage on your already great kisses:
Use your hands. A good kiss is more than just locking lips. The more physical contact you have the more connected you'll feel. Run your fingers through her hair. Gently massage her shoulder blades. Wandering hands can amp up the sensuality without being disrespectful.
Eye contact. Look into her eyes from time to time. Make eye contact and hold it for a moment. No need for a staring contest however. Just let your eyes do the talking and conect the two of you for a few seconds.
Variety. Mix it up with lip nibbles, gentle neck bites and a bit of tongue action. And don't forget to smile.
Pay attention. Distraction is the single best way to sour a great kiss. Hot kisses have much in common with dancing- each person acts and reacts to the other's movements, breaths, pace and sounds. The more you're in the moment, the more sensual the kiss will be.
Kissing faux pas:
The lizard. Your tongue darts in and out like a reptile hunting for its next prey.
The Roto Rooter. Your tongue ventures so far down her throat her gag reflex kicks in.
The Deep Sea Diver. You rarely come up for air.
Frozen. You don't change it up. You stay in the same position, same angle, same posture.
The Squid. Your breath isn't fresh and all she can think about is how to slip you a breath mint.
Pucker up. Kiss more often. A kiss can be a prelude to sex, however it doesn't always have to be. It can be a moment for you and your partner to reconnect, to tune out the world. It is an opportunity for your lips to tell your special someone how you feel about them without having to utter a single word.
xoxo
L
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A user's guide for breasts
Breasts. Boobs. Ta-Tas. We have 'em. You want access to 'em.
There are somethings in life that are just not meant to be understood. The duck-billed platypus. The inlaws. Celery. And how Charlie Sheen manages to find work. We know men really are that enthralled with these pieces of female flesh.
You admire them, imagine them. Even long for them. And we know this. We know many men are boob men. And some women don't mind knowing men are checking out her girls. However, this doesn't give you a free pass to make crass comments, or to not maintain eye contact with a lady you are speaking with. Do mind your manners - revel in breasts privately, respect them publically, and revere the women who bring them into your life.
In bed, men tend to have two degrees of touching: they either like to touch the way they like to be touched, which usually means rougher and firmer, or they touch the way a previous partner liked. Either way, your current lady may not like either option. Every time a woman takes off her bra in your presence wipe your memory clean of your past experiences with other breasts. Make like this is your first time seeing them. Remember, no two pairs are alike.
Breasts aren't just about sex. And when you realize this we appreciate it. Learn to desexualize them. When you're sitting together on the couch simply laying your head on her chest gives a woman a powerful feeling. And if we complain about our breasts being sore offer to massage them for us, in a nonsexual way of course. Breast massage feels good and isn't something we can ask for at the spa.
Be gentle with our nipples. Thats not saying some nipple action can't be a pleasurable thing. But something that very closely resembles a titty-twister does not feel good at all. Do you like having your nipples clamped onto and twisted to the point it hurts? No. Ok, neither do we. And just in generel remember our breasts are not a pig skin, so please do not handle them as such. You can be firm without being rough.
There are as many reasons for why men like breasts as there are stars in the sky. They feel good to touch, you find them sexy, they're warm....the list goes on. Though do remember they are parts of our body, and aren't just sexual play things. Respect them, treat them well and I'm willing to bet you may just get more between the sheets playtime with them.
xoxo
L
There are somethings in life that are just not meant to be understood. The duck-billed platypus. The inlaws. Celery. And how Charlie Sheen manages to find work. We know men really are that enthralled with these pieces of female flesh.
You admire them, imagine them. Even long for them. And we know this. We know many men are boob men. And some women don't mind knowing men are checking out her girls. However, this doesn't give you a free pass to make crass comments, or to not maintain eye contact with a lady you are speaking with. Do mind your manners - revel in breasts privately, respect them publically, and revere the women who bring them into your life.
In bed, men tend to have two degrees of touching: they either like to touch the way they like to be touched, which usually means rougher and firmer, or they touch the way a previous partner liked. Either way, your current lady may not like either option. Every time a woman takes off her bra in your presence wipe your memory clean of your past experiences with other breasts. Make like this is your first time seeing them. Remember, no two pairs are alike.
Breasts aren't just about sex. And when you realize this we appreciate it. Learn to desexualize them. When you're sitting together on the couch simply laying your head on her chest gives a woman a powerful feeling. And if we complain about our breasts being sore offer to massage them for us, in a nonsexual way of course. Breast massage feels good and isn't something we can ask for at the spa.
Be gentle with our nipples. Thats not saying some nipple action can't be a pleasurable thing. But something that very closely resembles a titty-twister does not feel good at all. Do you like having your nipples clamped onto and twisted to the point it hurts? No. Ok, neither do we. And just in generel remember our breasts are not a pig skin, so please do not handle them as such. You can be firm without being rough.
There are as many reasons for why men like breasts as there are stars in the sky. They feel good to touch, you find them sexy, they're warm....the list goes on. Though do remember they are parts of our body, and aren't just sexual play things. Respect them, treat them well and I'm willing to bet you may just get more between the sheets playtime with them.
xoxo
L
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Female O
The female orgasm. Women want to have them. Men want to deliver them. Far too often the woman's O falls among the ranks of the Sasquatch- great and magical in theory, but not something that is easily stumbled upon.
Sure the female orgasm is fickle. If you follow these pointers you have the greatest chance of seeing one in the wild, in it's natural habitat. So sit down and listen up. Female Orgasm 101 is in session
#1 - take her off the clock. Like you worry about not lasting long enough she worries about taking too long to reach orgasm, so many women end up faking one or deciding to go without. So stop obsessing over orgasms - your's and her's. Take the pressure off. Relaxation is the single most important factor in bringing a woman to orgasm.
Tell her she has all night. The more you convey a tolerance for a lengthy buildup and an appreciation for her pleasure the more likely she is to unwind and blast off into orbit. It can take up to 40mins (if not more) for a woman to reach orgasm. Going somewhere?
#2- turn her on with your talent. The best sex starts before the clothes come off. Talent - more than rugged good looks or washboard abs - is a powerful aphrodisiac. So, nail that song during karaoke. Make her die laughing during your less than stellar dart game. Yup, humor is a talent too.
#3- when she's naked, speak up. Women worry about how they look. They also worry about how they look down there, which makes it difficult for them to O during oral. Clearly you have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks (and you do, right?) naked, speak up!
#4- learn how she likes to be touched. One thing we love during manual stimulation is a slow buildup. Place the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now, run your ring and middle fingers along her outter lips. Gently graze the skin at first adding pressure as the tension builds. In the beginning she may be too sensitive for direct clitoral stimulation. Give it a few minutes then gently work your way to the hot spot.
#5- learn to sense her orgasm. Ease into oral sex, don't just dive right in. Kiss her inner thighs, the move to her outter lips, eventually moving inside, with firm, broad strokes with your tongue. Watch her hips for a rhythm she likes. Listen to her moans and gasps to tell you you're on the right path.
#6- follow her lead. Once you've reached the point of no return you could climax if a marching band made its way through your bedroom. Your lady, not so much. She'll like hit the off switch if you move or change up midway to orgasm. We love it when you try new things, but once you've found a winner stick with it until she crosses the finish line.
#7- let her finish first. Stalking the tandem orgasm is admirable. However, most women prefer a "ladies first" approach. If you rub the clitoris for a long time, during penetration for example, it can become too sore or desensitized to respond to oral or manual stimulation later. So, satisfy her before intercourse. Bonus: a woman's orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it is often easier to bring her to orgasm during intercourse after she's already had one. How's that sound for an encore?
So there you go. A few tips and tricks to get you started on helping your lady reach orgasm. Believe me, if you put these to practice she will thank you for it later!
xoxo
L
Reasons she has sex with you
Remember when you first discovered sex? Likely somewhere around the age of 7 or so. In your 7-year-old mind you learned your parents had done the dirty twice: once to create you and once to crank out your little sister. Then a few years down the road you learned that propagation is only a small part of sex. In fact it is only one of a host of reasons we humans hook up. One university study showed there are 237 reasons why we hook up - who knew?!
While we know why you, boys, enjoy sex, her reasons often remain slightly more mysterious. Lucky for you I'm here to decode some of that mystery for you! Yes, you can thank me later!
You're a good kisser: So what if you're not a hormonal teenager anymore. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session. In fact, a well executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. Unlike men, we women are less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds simple enough, right? Down boy. Her definition of a great kiss may just be different than your's. Studies show men like wetter kisses with lots of tongue action. Us ladies prefer someone who makes the first move, smells and tastes fresh and caresses her while kissing.
Note from L: I just wanted to say- us ladies love a great make out session. We really, really do. It primes our engines for the main event. Its close, it connects us...and really, is just really great to have a hot make out session with our man. So really, this is one you probably shouldn't skip too often!
It seems like the natural next move in the relationship: You've wooed her. You've wined her and dined her. And still no sex. The missing link? Commitment. Don't panic, commitment doesn't have to mean a ring. Make sure we know you're in it, emotionally, for the long haul.
You caress her: most women like to be touched, gently. Gently glide your fingers over her forearm where there are plenty of pleasure nerves just waiting to be touched. Play with our hair. I for one love the feeling of having my hair played with. Caressing us sends signals of affection and trust to the brain.
You make her feel sexy: Establish your compliments safety zone. Listen to what she says about herself and watch how she reacts when you touch her. This will clue you in to the body parts she is insecure about, and let's you know where to tread lightly. She can easily take a well-meaning compliment and turn it negative. You may say "you have a great, round butt" and she hears fat, not great. When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to more generic compliments: "your butt looks great in those jeans".
Your physical appearance turns her on: most women perfer muscle definition to muscle mass (move over, meatheads). Men with big, bulging muscles can appear threatening to a woman. We also know it takes time to build up those big muscles and that is time you won't be spending with us. We're looking for signs of not only health but of commitment too.
She wants to feel emotionally close or connected: start the foreplay outside the bedroom. Rave about the great donuts at the office today. Sharing something upbeat about your day strengthens your relationship. Talking and listening helps maintain emotional intimacy.
She's caught up in the heat of the moment: even if she rolls over its not too late to heat things up. Sidle up to her, spoon her (without anything poking into her back). Cuddling causes her testosterone to surge. Increased T levels spark a response in her clitoris which triggers arousal. Bonus: women feel more sexually attractive the morning after cuddling. Steamy shower sex, anyone?
She thinks it's fun: first, show her how much fun you can be outside the bedroom. Studies have shown that 25% of women are more likely to find a man attractive if he has a good sense of humor (see! its not as cliche as you think it is) and were then 31% more likely to think of him as a suitable mate.
She needs release or just feels horny: Suggest a horror movie marathon. Being scared is physicologically arousing and in the right company this can turn into sexual arousal. After the movie she may find your glances and touches more erotically charged. Just choose your movies wisely. If she isn't into over-the-top-terror she'll be like me and watch it from under the covers. We went her to be turned on and charged up, not fearing for her life.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: it would appear the old adage is true. Take that business trip. While you're away her positive feelings of closeness, meaningfulness and appreciation will likely decline. However, upon your return they will return full force and surge to an all-time high. Just make sure you call while you're away to help reduce the chance of the negative feelings sticking around upon your return.
So there you have it. Some of the main reasons we have sex with you. None of it is rocket science. For us sex goes deeper than just the primal need. Yes, we get horny too, but beyond that we need to know you're there for us, and it starts outside the bedroom.
Happy sexing!
xoxo
L
While we know why you, boys, enjoy sex, her reasons often remain slightly more mysterious. Lucky for you I'm here to decode some of that mystery for you! Yes, you can thank me later!
You're a good kisser: So what if you're not a hormonal teenager anymore. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session. In fact, a well executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. Unlike men, we women are less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds simple enough, right? Down boy. Her definition of a great kiss may just be different than your's. Studies show men like wetter kisses with lots of tongue action. Us ladies prefer someone who makes the first move, smells and tastes fresh and caresses her while kissing.
Note from L: I just wanted to say- us ladies love a great make out session. We really, really do. It primes our engines for the main event. Its close, it connects us...and really, is just really great to have a hot make out session with our man. So really, this is one you probably shouldn't skip too often!
It seems like the natural next move in the relationship: You've wooed her. You've wined her and dined her. And still no sex. The missing link? Commitment. Don't panic, commitment doesn't have to mean a ring. Make sure we know you're in it, emotionally, for the long haul.
You caress her: most women like to be touched, gently. Gently glide your fingers over her forearm where there are plenty of pleasure nerves just waiting to be touched. Play with our hair. I for one love the feeling of having my hair played with. Caressing us sends signals of affection and trust to the brain.
You make her feel sexy: Establish your compliments safety zone. Listen to what she says about herself and watch how she reacts when you touch her. This will clue you in to the body parts she is insecure about, and let's you know where to tread lightly. She can easily take a well-meaning compliment and turn it negative. You may say "you have a great, round butt" and she hears fat, not great. When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to more generic compliments: "your butt looks great in those jeans".
Your physical appearance turns her on: most women perfer muscle definition to muscle mass (move over, meatheads). Men with big, bulging muscles can appear threatening to a woman. We also know it takes time to build up those big muscles and that is time you won't be spending with us. We're looking for signs of not only health but of commitment too.
She wants to feel emotionally close or connected: start the foreplay outside the bedroom. Rave about the great donuts at the office today. Sharing something upbeat about your day strengthens your relationship. Talking and listening helps maintain emotional intimacy.
She's caught up in the heat of the moment: even if she rolls over its not too late to heat things up. Sidle up to her, spoon her (without anything poking into her back). Cuddling causes her testosterone to surge. Increased T levels spark a response in her clitoris which triggers arousal. Bonus: women feel more sexually attractive the morning after cuddling. Steamy shower sex, anyone?
She thinks it's fun: first, show her how much fun you can be outside the bedroom. Studies have shown that 25% of women are more likely to find a man attractive if he has a good sense of humor (see! its not as cliche as you think it is) and were then 31% more likely to think of him as a suitable mate.
She needs release or just feels horny: Suggest a horror movie marathon. Being scared is physicologically arousing and in the right company this can turn into sexual arousal. After the movie she may find your glances and touches more erotically charged. Just choose your movies wisely. If she isn't into over-the-top-terror she'll be like me and watch it from under the covers. We went her to be turned on and charged up, not fearing for her life.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: it would appear the old adage is true. Take that business trip. While you're away her positive feelings of closeness, meaningfulness and appreciation will likely decline. However, upon your return they will return full force and surge to an all-time high. Just make sure you call while you're away to help reduce the chance of the negative feelings sticking around upon your return.
So there you have it. Some of the main reasons we have sex with you. None of it is rocket science. For us sex goes deeper than just the primal need. Yes, we get horny too, but beyond that we need to know you're there for us, and it starts outside the bedroom.
Happy sexing!
xoxo
L
Let's talk about sex
I recently read an article (though don't remember where) where some 1000 women were polled about what works and what doesn't in bed.
Generally, the two main concerns among men when it comes to sex is their penises aren't big enough or they won't last long enough.
Women have their own slew of insecurities when it comes to sex. Their weight, being one, and the length of time it takes them to reach orgasm being another.
When asked independantly of eachother, men and women are more than willing to talk about sex. The next step is to get them to talk about it with eachother. Most men and women want to know if they are doing something wrong. Most men are open to guidance for their lady, so long as she does it nicely. So ladies, speak up already!
Ok, back to one of the male insecurities for a second: you think you don't long enough. Rest assured boys, that is not as big a concern for us as it is for you. Most women agree their man lasts long enough. A smaller percentage agree you usually do, but there are times when it doesn't always happen. So guys, stop worrying. You're doing just fine!
Two common complaints among women are: "he doesn't know how to touch me" and "same moves all the time". Another one heard frequently among women is "just when I'm getting into it, I tell him not to move...he moves." Ok guys, learn to touch us the way we like to be touched. Follow our lead. If we place our hand on top of yours to guide you, go with us. And when we're getting in the groove of something and we tell you not to move DON'T MOVE. Keep doing whatever it is you're doing. If we've become vocal enough to tell you not to move, believe me when I say its working. Keep going. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Keep on truckin my friend!
The most common complaint among both men and women is: we don't have sex often enough.
How do we rectify this? We make sex better. And how to we make sex better? We talk about it.
Both parties seem to be pretty open to criticism. However, when asked if they provide feedback to their partners a strong portion said they hadn't. You're both open to hearing it but neither of you are giving it. Why? Fear of hurting the other's feelings seems to be the common response. Though would it surprise you if I told you you likely won't hurt the other's feelings if you do it nicely? And would it also surprise you if I told you that most men (who received feedback) said the sex got better after? And most women said he responded better after providing feedback? Most people agree the best time to provide this feedback is in the midst of the action. No, really. If it doesn't feel right, say so. Think of it as on-the-job-training, so to speak. Though some sex therapists say its best to wait until you're out of the bedroom to discuss these things.
Now, let's talk a second about the positives.
Most men polled say they rock out the foreplay skills (and yet most women said they want more of it), 1 in 3 men say they are oral masters (again, most women said they want more oral). What are women proud of? One woman said she loved the fact she could get him excited even when he's dead tired. Over a quarter of the women said they were proud of the oral skills and a slightly lower percentage said they were proud of the flexibility when changing positions.
So, the short of the long of it is: both parties want feedback, but neither side seems to be giving it. Improving your sexlife doesn't have to be a stilted discussion. In fact it is probably best done with in-the-throes of passion encouragement, rather than just blatantly pointing out flaws. Moaning, increased urgancy and verbal enthusiasm will tell your partner what turns you on, while gentle redirection will tell them what doesn't.
Most men and women agree that to have great sex you have to have an emotional connection. Open your eyes, savor the moment. Take a deep breath, make and maintain eye contact between kisses. Be aware of every touch, every caress and be open to conveying your pleasure. The more emotionally connected you are the less guarded sex will become.
xoxo
L
Generally, the two main concerns among men when it comes to sex is their penises aren't big enough or they won't last long enough.
Women have their own slew of insecurities when it comes to sex. Their weight, being one, and the length of time it takes them to reach orgasm being another.
When asked independantly of eachother, men and women are more than willing to talk about sex. The next step is to get them to talk about it with eachother. Most men and women want to know if they are doing something wrong. Most men are open to guidance for their lady, so long as she does it nicely. So ladies, speak up already!
Ok, back to one of the male insecurities for a second: you think you don't long enough. Rest assured boys, that is not as big a concern for us as it is for you. Most women agree their man lasts long enough. A smaller percentage agree you usually do, but there are times when it doesn't always happen. So guys, stop worrying. You're doing just fine!
Two common complaints among women are: "he doesn't know how to touch me" and "same moves all the time". Another one heard frequently among women is "just when I'm getting into it, I tell him not to move...he moves." Ok guys, learn to touch us the way we like to be touched. Follow our lead. If we place our hand on top of yours to guide you, go with us. And when we're getting in the groove of something and we tell you not to move DON'T MOVE. Keep doing whatever it is you're doing. If we've become vocal enough to tell you not to move, believe me when I say its working. Keep going. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Keep on truckin my friend!
The most common complaint among both men and women is: we don't have sex often enough.
How do we rectify this? We make sex better. And how to we make sex better? We talk about it.
Both parties seem to be pretty open to criticism. However, when asked if they provide feedback to their partners a strong portion said they hadn't. You're both open to hearing it but neither of you are giving it. Why? Fear of hurting the other's feelings seems to be the common response. Though would it surprise you if I told you you likely won't hurt the other's feelings if you do it nicely? And would it also surprise you if I told you that most men (who received feedback) said the sex got better after? And most women said he responded better after providing feedback? Most people agree the best time to provide this feedback is in the midst of the action. No, really. If it doesn't feel right, say so. Think of it as on-the-job-training, so to speak. Though some sex therapists say its best to wait until you're out of the bedroom to discuss these things.
Now, let's talk a second about the positives.
Most men polled say they rock out the foreplay skills (and yet most women said they want more of it), 1 in 3 men say they are oral masters (again, most women said they want more oral). What are women proud of? One woman said she loved the fact she could get him excited even when he's dead tired. Over a quarter of the women said they were proud of the oral skills and a slightly lower percentage said they were proud of the flexibility when changing positions.
So, the short of the long of it is: both parties want feedback, but neither side seems to be giving it. Improving your sexlife doesn't have to be a stilted discussion. In fact it is probably best done with in-the-throes of passion encouragement, rather than just blatantly pointing out flaws. Moaning, increased urgancy and verbal enthusiasm will tell your partner what turns you on, while gentle redirection will tell them what doesn't.
Most men and women agree that to have great sex you have to have an emotional connection. Open your eyes, savor the moment. Take a deep breath, make and maintain eye contact between kisses. Be aware of every touch, every caress and be open to conveying your pleasure. The more emotionally connected you are the less guarded sex will become.
xoxo
L
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