The hottest couples don't just have great sex - they have embarassing sex, make-up sex, and wild can't-walk-the-next-day sex. Every kind of sex is crucial for your bond. Yes, even the couldn't-quite-stay-awake-to-finish sex.
Sure you have good sex. Ideally it would be fantastic, and often. But, there is more to a solid sex life than just straight-up sex. A truly amazing sex life encompasses lots of different kinds of sex - maybe ones you wouldn't expect. Afterall, your relationship isn't one not, so why should your sex life?
1) Pushing the Boundaries Sex
There is nothing quite like lying naked next to the man you've loved for a long time, panting and puffing thinking "wow, we've never done that before"
-if you're used to missionary try a new position in a new room in the house
-if you're used to stimulation by body parts it may be time to experiment with toys
2) Maintenance Sex
Let's be honest - sex isn't always going to be an eye glazing, spiritual encounter. Some couples think everything has to feel perfect or you both have to be in a sexual mood to have sex. But if everyone waited for that sex wouldn't happen very often. That's where maintenance sex comes in - where you just do it even if your engine isn't raring for a ride.
Just-for-the-hell-of-it sex is vital for long term relationships because no matter how much you love your family, friends and your kids, no matter how much time you spend with them you won't spend time like this with anyone else. It helps keep your bond unique and strong.
And don't forget how good regular sex is for you: it relieves stress and burns calories. It also keeps your sex engine running. So, having sex even when you're not really in the mood keeps the engine primed and ready for something hotter later.
3)Embarassing Moment Sex
Its bound to happen. One of you lets out an awkward grunt. Your sweat soaked skin slaps together in a cringe inducing fashion. Or your partner pulls or pushes in such away to creat a "scchllluuup". As mortifying as these things can be - even with someone you've been with for a long time - it is a remind that sex is raw: Discovery Channel kind of raw.
Its not supposed to be flawless. Sex is full of sights and smells and sounds. It's natural. Human bodies do funny things sometimes. And that is OK.
And your ability to deal with a red-in-the-face moment -whether you laugh it off or give eachother a sympathetic squeeze - says a lot about your bond with eachother.
4)Vacation Sex
Vacation sex is a vital part of a healthy sex life. On vacation you're at your most carefree which means you can try new things you won't have to be accountable for at home. In other words, have sex on the beach, or in a car.
Often if life in the bedroom is feeling blah it is usually your surroundings that are getting you down, not your partner. So, if you haven't had vacation sex recently, DO IT! You don't necessarily need a plane ticket. Find your way to a downtown hotel and call it a vacation.
5)Slow-road-to-sleep Sex
We all know that in life its the journey that really matters, not the destination. The same applies for sex (in some cases). That means not every sexual encounter should be focused on orgasms. The truth is, not every sexual encounter goes anywhere at all. There are some nights you start out on the journey, you want to keep going but boy-oh-boy sleeps sounds pretty darn good right now. And thats where things peter out. And thats OK.
6) Make Up Sex
Ok, so we all know we're not supposed to go to bed angry. And sometimes you can take that to a different extreme, ensuring that after a fight you go to bed happy, very very happy. Yup, thats right: wild, intense make up sex: one minute you're reeling in anger, the next you're rolling around in wild, passionate love making. Make up sex works because after a fight you're raw, exposed and vulnerable - perfect conditions for soul-to-soul bonding.
7)Comfort Sex
If you're sad, angry, depressed, grieving alone....sex can be the perfect antidote. Why? Because it is the opposite of all those things. It is close and warm, loving and together. And sometimes talking about your problems isn't what you want, but sex is.
The healing act of sex can help people who feel torn apart from eachother during a difficult period. Sex can help restore the intimate relationship you have.
8) Crazy Hang-from-the-chandelier Sex
You know what I'm talking about: wild, sweaty and so good it makes you dizzy sex. No matter how long you've been together you need to have earthshaking sex every so often.
This kind of sex is important on a deeper level: it requires a lot of trust and intimacy to allow your partner to see you in the throes of sexual abandon. And let's not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling!
xoxo
L
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Anal Sex: why she loves it and hates it
Anal is one of those things: she either loves it or hates it. There is very little middle ground. Most women have tried it at least once and a fair lot of them will never dare again. The reason: pain. If there is no pain then there is pleasure. Hence, love or hate .
The Allure of Anal Sex
For men and women anal sex is a different, tighter sensation - it's naughty and provides variety to normal sex.
Why She Loves It
Women who love it love it because it can feel incredible. Its different in sensation, and doesn't feel like anything she's likely felt before: its deep inside, it isn't her clitoris and it isn't her vagina - but strangely it feels both in a weird mixed up way. If you stimulate her clitoris once you're inside her anal orgasms are possible.
She also loves it because its naughty. People love to be naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you do completely privately and no one will ever know your naughty side besides you and your partner.
Why She Hates It
Because it can hurt. Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven't had much practice. For men it seems simple: in-and-out. But its not that simple. Women will sometimes endure the pain for one of two reasons: a) she wants to like it or b) she wants you to like it.
If you're not very careful, if you do not warm her up properly, and if you don't go slowly enough you will likely hurt her, which will greatly reduce your chances of trying it again.
She may also be worried about creating a mess. Let's be honest, given the locale we are speaking of here it is obviously a hot spot for creating a mess. Women spend time making sure they look and smell great and to have something ruin it can be mildly devastating.
Lube is essential.
The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant so you must provide your own.
Tease Her
Turn her on. It is very important that she be very well turned on before you go anywhere near her back door. When she is turned on her body is much more open to you. She needs to be aching for you to touch her. Get her to the point she is begging you for it - and do it without pentrating her with anything. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you've got, use it to your advantage.
What Not To Do. Ever.
Do not ever enter her without her express permission. Do not treat her like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to blow into or onto. If she is willing to share her derriere with you treat it and her with respect.
What To Do. Always.
Always use lube. If requested to wear a condom do so without whining. Do as she asks - anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.
Anal sex is many things for many people. Do it right and you'll get to do it again. Do it wrong and you may be doomed forever. Ok, maybe not forever, but for as long as it takes for her to forget how bad it was the first time around.
xoxo
L
The Allure of Anal Sex
For men and women anal sex is a different, tighter sensation - it's naughty and provides variety to normal sex.
Why She Loves It
Women who love it love it because it can feel incredible. Its different in sensation, and doesn't feel like anything she's likely felt before: its deep inside, it isn't her clitoris and it isn't her vagina - but strangely it feels both in a weird mixed up way. If you stimulate her clitoris once you're inside her anal orgasms are possible.
She also loves it because its naughty. People love to be naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you do completely privately and no one will ever know your naughty side besides you and your partner.
Why She Hates It
Because it can hurt. Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven't had much practice. For men it seems simple: in-and-out. But its not that simple. Women will sometimes endure the pain for one of two reasons: a) she wants to like it or b) she wants you to like it.
If you're not very careful, if you do not warm her up properly, and if you don't go slowly enough you will likely hurt her, which will greatly reduce your chances of trying it again.
She may also be worried about creating a mess. Let's be honest, given the locale we are speaking of here it is obviously a hot spot for creating a mess. Women spend time making sure they look and smell great and to have something ruin it can be mildly devastating.
Lube is essential.
The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant so you must provide your own.
Tease Her
Turn her on. It is very important that she be very well turned on before you go anywhere near her back door. When she is turned on her body is much more open to you. She needs to be aching for you to touch her. Get her to the point she is begging you for it - and do it without pentrating her with anything. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you've got, use it to your advantage.
What Not To Do. Ever.
Do not ever enter her without her express permission. Do not treat her like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to blow into or onto. If she is willing to share her derriere with you treat it and her with respect.
What To Do. Always.
Always use lube. If requested to wear a condom do so without whining. Do as she asks - anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.
Anal sex is many things for many people. Do it right and you'll get to do it again. Do it wrong and you may be doomed forever. Ok, maybe not forever, but for as long as it takes for her to forget how bad it was the first time around.
xoxo
L
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Last Longer
The average guy lasts only 5 to 10mins during sex. And over 70% of men want longer sexual endurance. Use these tips and ye shall, *ahem*, overcome.
Master Masturbation
Spend your solo time with a woman's orgasm in mind. Translate: take your time. Work up to 15mins. Bring yourself close but don't let yourself go until time is up.
Squeeze
If you find yourself overheating during sex stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. This pushes the blood out of the penis and momentarily delays the ejaculatory response.
Press, Don't Thrust
Press the head of your penis against her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance where the most sensitive nerve endings are. Focus on small shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 - 3 inches of her vagina.
Show a Little Courtesy
Ladies first, gentlemen - and not just when it comes to holding doors. When you help her have an orgasm first it relieves some of the pressure from you.
Go for Round Two
Had a premature emission? No worries. Turn your attention to her and her arousal (yes, this means you have to stay awake), then getting back in the saddle. You'll be guaranteed to last longer the second time.
Let her Climb On
When she's on top your penis is less stimulated. But tell her to go slow. Long, fast thrusting is hazardous to a man's endurance.
Stop Thinking About It
The area of the brain responsible for triggering an orgasm is engaged whether you're trying to halt one or have one. The more attention you give it the more likely it is to arrive. Focus on what is happening right now instead of the end result.
Random factoid: talk to your doctor - men who have endurance issues have found that Prozac greatly improved their sexual longevity.
xoxo
L
Master Masturbation
Spend your solo time with a woman's orgasm in mind. Translate: take your time. Work up to 15mins. Bring yourself close but don't let yourself go until time is up.
Squeeze
If you find yourself overheating during sex stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. This pushes the blood out of the penis and momentarily delays the ejaculatory response.
Press, Don't Thrust
Press the head of your penis against her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance where the most sensitive nerve endings are. Focus on small shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 - 3 inches of her vagina.
Show a Little Courtesy
Ladies first, gentlemen - and not just when it comes to holding doors. When you help her have an orgasm first it relieves some of the pressure from you.
Go for Round Two
Had a premature emission? No worries. Turn your attention to her and her arousal (yes, this means you have to stay awake), then getting back in the saddle. You'll be guaranteed to last longer the second time.
Let her Climb On
When she's on top your penis is less stimulated. But tell her to go slow. Long, fast thrusting is hazardous to a man's endurance.
Stop Thinking About It
The area of the brain responsible for triggering an orgasm is engaged whether you're trying to halt one or have one. The more attention you give it the more likely it is to arrive. Focus on what is happening right now instead of the end result.
Random factoid: talk to your doctor - men who have endurance issues have found that Prozac greatly improved their sexual longevity.
xoxo
L
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Reasons Men Love Women
Your sweaty post gym rawness. You think you're most desireable when you're all dolled up looking pretty as a peach. No. Men think otherwise. Its at six o'clock, after work, you're just home from the gym in your favorite old tank top, devoid of make up and perfume when you are nothing but raw, glistening womaness. You'll likely think "ewwww....gross." but he'll beg to differ.
Cross dresser. Seeing you glide by him in a pair of his boxers or in one of his shirts will drive him crazy wild!
Awkward high school photos. "OMG! Don't look at that" you'll say as you snatch the photo from his grip. Just know that no matter how gangly the limbs, or how frizzy your hair is he's pretty certain you wouldn't have spoken to him in high school anyway, but you sure do now!
You way with children. Men will be honest and say that they really don't know where the relationship is going and it freaks them out when their lady starts naming their future children. However, him seeing your warmth and ease with children they can't help but think "maybe".
Simplicity. While men dig the candlelit dinners and your kitchen acrobatics, from time to time break out grandma's spagetti recipe, pop the cork on an $8 bottle of Chianti and eat together on the patio. There is infinite bliss in simple moments.
Your patience with their family. His uncle Frank is making comments about your "rump", aunt Joan is forcing feeding your more awful hors d'oeuvres while his cousin Destiny hisses on about how eating meat his murder and you're pretty sure his little cousin Derrick is spying on you in the bathroom. All that and you still want to have sex with him. It boggles their mind.
When you clean your plate. Dive in to that ribeye. He'll find it sexy. Stop half way through and say "I can't stop eating this - its SOOO good!". A passion for great food suggests a passion for all life's sensual pleasures.
The look. You know the one. The cross table glance that will tell him where the night is headed. Its subtle enough to be shared across a crowded table, but its powerful enough to buckle his poor knees. Don't underestimate it.
Your badass self reliance. You've gathered the wood and built the fire while he's still wrestling with the tent. You tackle your own leaky fawcets and can fix your own crashed computer. When you should you don't need them its that much more gratifying that you want them.
xoxo
L
Cross dresser. Seeing you glide by him in a pair of his boxers or in one of his shirts will drive him crazy wild!
Awkward high school photos. "OMG! Don't look at that" you'll say as you snatch the photo from his grip. Just know that no matter how gangly the limbs, or how frizzy your hair is he's pretty certain you wouldn't have spoken to him in high school anyway, but you sure do now!
You way with children. Men will be honest and say that they really don't know where the relationship is going and it freaks them out when their lady starts naming their future children. However, him seeing your warmth and ease with children they can't help but think "maybe".
Simplicity. While men dig the candlelit dinners and your kitchen acrobatics, from time to time break out grandma's spagetti recipe, pop the cork on an $8 bottle of Chianti and eat together on the patio. There is infinite bliss in simple moments.
Your patience with their family. His uncle Frank is making comments about your "rump", aunt Joan is forcing feeding your more awful hors d'oeuvres while his cousin Destiny hisses on about how eating meat his murder and you're pretty sure his little cousin Derrick is spying on you in the bathroom. All that and you still want to have sex with him. It boggles their mind.
When you clean your plate. Dive in to that ribeye. He'll find it sexy. Stop half way through and say "I can't stop eating this - its SOOO good!". A passion for great food suggests a passion for all life's sensual pleasures.
The look. You know the one. The cross table glance that will tell him where the night is headed. Its subtle enough to be shared across a crowded table, but its powerful enough to buckle his poor knees. Don't underestimate it.
Your badass self reliance. You've gathered the wood and built the fire while he's still wrestling with the tent. You tackle your own leaky fawcets and can fix your own crashed computer. When you should you don't need them its that much more gratifying that you want them.
xoxo
L
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)