Thats the thing about sex. Even when its great, there is always room for improvement - if not for you then for her. She may not say she's feeling like something is missing, however she is likely thinking it.
So, boys, here are a few ideas to help you help her:
Go slow. When women say they want to take things slower, take what you think is slower and multiply it by 10. Women often complain that men move too quickly through the kissing, boob playing, hands in crotch phases. Take more time at each place. Trust me, we want to be teased. We know you want to get to the feature presentation as quickly as possible. On occasion slow things down...waaaaaaay down. We promise it'll be worth your while. This isn't to say we don't want to be grabbed in the hall, thrown up against a wall and done right there. We just don't want it all the time.
Change it up. Don't assume that because something worked last time, or with your last girlfriend, that it will work this time. Variety is the spice of sex. Don't be afraid to try things. Ask her how it feels: faster or slower; softer or harder. No really, ask her. If you ask she will probably tell you.
Porn is for entertainment purposes. So please stop taking tips from porn films (and yes we know you watch it). For women, the seductive period leading up to being in the buff is important, and you just don't get that in porn: woman walks into room, brief kiss, clothes off, now they're doing it (and she's making weird noises and strange pouty faces). Oh, and something else to forget porn ever taught you: forget that tongue flicky thing guys seem to do. We want anything involving your tongue to be long and slow. (you are taking notes here, right? If not, I'll wait until you go get a pen........oh good, you're back.....)
Appreciate her looks. Always verbally appreciate her body at any given opportunity. Women are vain; we want to hear from you how beautiful you think we are.
Foreplay. Its great and most of the time required. But sometimes it isn't needed or wanted. There are times we're primed and ready to go without much kissing and touching from you. Not sure how to tell if more foreplay is needed? Pay attention to her cues. If she's paying more attention to your happy parts than the rest of your body then odds are she's ready to go.
Also, try bringing her to orgasm during foreplay. Intercourse after an orgasm can be incredibly intense as everything is already fired up and highly sensitized. (no really, try this one. Put the time and effort into it, believe me we'll thank you for it later)
Don't assume she'll ask for what she wants. Many woman won't ask for more oral sex, however really want it. If she hasn't asked then go for it. Kiss your way from her neck, down her chest, her thighs then to her girly bits. If she likes it she'll be happy to let you continue. In the unlikely event she doesn't she'll let you know. She may also only want you down there for a short time then its on to something else.
Mirrors. Have sex infront of a (carefully placed) mirror or two. This is much more fun than video taping your session (which unflattering anyway). We know you guys are visual creatures, but you're not the only ones. So, grab that full length mirror and see what happens. I'd bet many women would find watching themselves with their man to be quite the turn on.
Let her drive. Put her in the driver's seat. Generally female-dominant positions make you last longer (bonus for you!) and her climax more quickly. They also usually make it much easier for you to use your hands on parts of her body you can't touch when you're in control. So touch her. Believe me, she'll want you to touch her.
Rev her up in different ways. Foreplay doesn't just happen in bed. It could be the suggestion of a session later in the day and the anticipation that build leading up to it. Be physical without being sexual, like stroking her hair. And women say they can never get enough kissing. So pucker up boys, it'll help fuel the fire. Take her out to dinner, look at her longingly, make her think you're going to take her home and pounce on her as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. Then make her wait. Let the anticipation build.
And really boys how much of a stroke to the ego is to know that you, in all your manly glory, have turned her on, revved her up, and sent her into orbit like never before? I dare you to try it, and tell me you don't feel like you're the king of the world aftewards.
xoxo
-L
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