Babes in Toy(less)land

That would be me. I'm toyless. Always have been. Don't always want to be.

I have friends that have them, and openly admit to having them and openly discuss having them and using them. I don't necessarily feel like I'm being left out of the conversation, but I do perhaps feel like I may be missing out on a little something-something when it comes to my solo sessions (oh c'mon...you know you do it too!).

And why haven't I grabbed the bull by the horns and gone in search of a toy of my very own? Well, you see, I'm too chicken shit to just wander into our local sex shop. Order online? Yeah, I'm convinced I'm going to be the poor sucker who gets the box on her doorstep labeled DILDO. I know I know, they all preach about discrete packaging....but what if something goes horribly wrong and THAT happens to me? I'd be mortified.

And the whole concept of toy shopping is intimidating. So many shapes, sizes, colors, sounds and funny names.....sensory overload! I have, however, been reading up on different toys, and how to go about procuring one of my very own. I came across a few great points, so here I am to share them with you...just in case there is someone else out there in the same toyless boat I'm in.

1) Find a store you like. The days of dimly lit, cavernous sex shops have gone by the wayside. Research it online. Familiarize yourself with their products: asking questions about that purple vibrator stands a good chance of being embarrassing (for you, not them) so get acquainted with their stuff first.

2) Decide what kind of stimulation you like. Most of the options out there fall into one of these categories: internal, external, dual. Most women need some external stimulation to orgasm so a dual may be a good first option.

3) Quality and Price. There is a wide array of options out there. Just know you don't have to break the bank to find a toy that makes you squeal. There are a few things to keep in mind, however: How quiet is the toy? (you don't want the roommates or the neighbours thinking you've suddenly taken a liking to late night woodworking projects); Does the toy come with a warranty? (yes, toys break. And the last thing you want is your toy breaking right before a killer orgasm); How is the toy powers? (is it battery operated? Does it plug into the wall? Is it rechargeable?). Figure out what would work best for you then go from there.

4) Have fun! Plan a solo date for you and your new toy. Pour yourself a glass of wine, and have fun!

This makes toy shopping seem slightly less daunting, though I can safely say I likely won't be venturing out on my own hunt any time soon (remember that thing about me being a chicken shit?). I'm thinking online will be the way to go for me, as soon as I get over that box-on-the-doorstep fear thing I've got going on.

Anyone else out there got any pointers for shopping for your first sex toy?

xoxo
L

Sexting

Guys, we know you like it. In length and in detail. We, however, are not as big of fans. You like to tell us EVERY. SINGLE. THING. you want to do to us and you want done to you. Believe me when I tell you the novelty of such messages will wear itself out by the time she pushes the 'send' button for the second time.

If you feel you must sext there are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Do not send her a message if you are unsure of her location. If you know she's in a board meeting, that would be a bad time. Visiting great aunt Agnes, also a bad time.



2. Do not send her a message if you are unsure the gesture will be welcomed.



3. Do not send her a message if you have not yet actually had sex together. Baaaaad idea.



4. Descriptions are generally a better idea than images.

You take a risk when you decide to send a sext. You've now just stated your sexual intent to the girl you are pursuing. And it now has the potential to blow up in your face. So, before you take a pic of your member and send it to her, please keep reading for some tips on how to reduce the "blowing up in face" odds....

Don't sext anything you wouldn't actually say. The ability to communicate electronically has given the world a little extra bravado when it comes to what we say. It is easier to say something we normally wouldn't say via text or email than it would be to say it face to face. Do keep that in mind. If you can't/won't actually say it to her do not sext it. Remember, that message leaves a technological footprint and could come back to haunt you. (don't believe me, ask Brett Favre).

Do not send unsolicited sexts. Just because she gave you her number does not mean you now have free rein to lay it on. You have to gauge whether or not a lady is open to flirting just as you have to gauge her openness to sexting. Start off slowly. Flirt by text and gradually build up if she seems receptive. And do not sext her if you haven't sexed her in real life.

Use words, not pictures. Remember that blowing up in your face thing I mentioned? Yeah...don't forget it. You have a better chance if you just use your words. Trust me I do not want to see a pic of your junk flash across the screen of my phone (this is also where checking her location comes in handy. She really doesn't need or want the president of her company seeing that pop up either). Our sexuality is largely mental, less visual. We know you guys are visual creatures so therefore you think we are too. While we are and can be, it is more about the mental stimulation. Share your ideas about what we can do later when we're together, build up the anticipation. Don't just take pictures of your stuff and send them to us. This is why porn works for you and less for us. A picture of a woman's rack will do more for you than a pic of your pride and joy will do for us. We want the whole package, from your head to your toes.

Now, all that said I will humour your sexting attempts unless/until the pics of your manlihood start coming in, and/or it gets to be too vulgar. No, this isn't because it upsets my delicate lady senses. This is because it doesn't do much for me. Instead try sending a message like:

"I saw you leave the house in the skirt you know I like. And now I can't get you off my mind. Can't wait to see you later."

This tells me you've noticed me and you're now thinking about me. And it is also suggestive of what could happen when we get home later. THIS will likely get you further than sending a pic of your nether regions with a message saying "I want to fuck your brains out". See the difference? A slightly suggestive message goes further for us, and therefore for will have a better chance of going further for you.

xoxo
L

Things Women Wish You Knew

Ok, so she's naked. Nice! Easy boy. No matter how naked or not naked she is, there are things she's not willing (0r able) to tell you. Here are some of the things she wishes you knew about her. Perhaps you will be able to help her enjoy herself and her body as much as you do. Read on..

1) Kiss her neck. Neck kissing = instant arousal = necessary change in undies.
In today's "pornified" world neck kissing, nibbling and nuzzling connotes intimacy, not eroticism.
2) She's all ears. The ears, inside and out, are packed with nerve endings. Lightly breathe warm air into her ear. Some women have noted if they are close to finishing during sex, a slight breath or touch to her ear can send her over the edge.
3)Play with her hair. Gentle tugging stimulates nerve endings, and it just feels good. Playing with her tresses may signal bonding to her as well.
4)Look at her. We're not talking lustful stares. We're talking making a point of making eye contact with her when she tells you about her day or when you compliment her.
5)She likes to watch. Ok, we're visual creatures too. We're not the only ones that respond to seeing a naked body. Women like to see their man's manlihood just as much as men like to see our girlie bits.
6)We love to see you savour our body. Not all women are into nipple stimulation, however watching you lick and suck is damn sexy.
7)Adore her butt. Keep your paws off it in public though. Instead go for more subtle areas. However many women agree that their butt is their least favorite body part. When you grab it during sex or just as I walk by you tells us you love it. And we love that you love it.
8)Make her slippery. Remember the neck thing I mentioned earlier? Yeah, that'll do it. However, just because she's wet doesn't mean she's ready to go. So forget the dipstick test "oh good, she's wet, let's go". Give it some more time. The more time you give her the more aroused she will be.
9)She's not shallow. There is more to the clitoris than just the tip. In fact it splits off into "legs" under her lips, each of which run down either side of the vagina. So, explore the areas surrounding the tip. You may just surprise her.
10) The G-Spot. It does exist. However, many women say they find it difficult to find on their own. So this is where you come in. The usual "come hither" may work to find it. Other wome prefer firm tapping or a circular motion.
11) Be Rough. But do it gently. Many of us like it when we feel weak, even if we're not actually. Be aggressive in your delivery but also be attentive to her needs. Men complain women are often timid of handling their penis in fear of hurting them. Women say the same about their body. Try the take-control move she craves: pinning her down on the bed is the aggressive move most likely to flip her switch.

xoxo
L

Get Your Rub On

She loves massages and she loves sex - imagine her reaction when you put the two together to create a spectacular night she won't soon forget! Whether you're trying to add a little spice to a fizzing romance, or are trying to impress a new lover, a sensual massage may just be your one-way ticket to Pleasureville.

Many men think of giving their lady a massage, but not many actually setp up to the plate: they either fear rejection or they just aren't quite sure how to initiate it. The truth is most women are very receptive to massage, but just how receptive she'll be to a sensual massage depends greatly on her mood. You can start with a more traditional massage then move into more intimate affairs. Here's how to get started:

Prepare
Before you get started you'll need a few things beyond your hands and a body to put them on. Invest in some massage oil that is safe for internal use and a blindfold. It would also be handy to have a few towels closeby.

A few more things to think about before you get started

• your hands must be clean and your nails trimmed





• your hands should be warm





• never apply the massage oil directly to her body. place a good amount in your hands, rub them together then begin the massage.





• start gently. you want to arouse her, not bruise her.

Give Her a Full-Body Sensual Massage
This doesn't mean you take on the tedious task of massaging every square inch of her. Rather massage her with your body. Make use of your well oiled arms and chest. And don't be afraid to use your mouth and tongue in the mix. Kissing, licking and warm breath on bare flesh often spark a welcomed erotic response.

Use Your Hands in Different Capacities
While you're using one hand to caress her body use the other to explore her nether-regions. Try going for her G-spot to see if you can't bring her to an earth shattering climax. This may be a good time to bring out that blindfold. Removing one of her senses will heighten her others.

Head to the Erogenous Zones
We all know the parts of a woman's body that get the most attention. Areas like the vagina, nipples and feet are targeted because men don't know that women can be aroused in other areas. Her wrists, fingers, ears, the back of her neck and the inside of her elbows are all visited as often as tourists travel to Siberia. Feel free to rub, kiss and lick these neglected areas. She will appreciate your attention to detail.

However don't entirely neglect the classic hot spots like her breasts and her clitoris. She's accustomed to having these areas stimulated and will probably expect them to get some attention too. Take your time, read her body language.

The art of massage, particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat during sex. Be an original lover and give her a night she will want to repeat. Remember, if you treat her to this, she'll likely repay you with a little favor that you'll greatly appreciate.

xoxo
L

The Female O

The female orgasm. Women want to have them. Men want to deliver them. Far too often the woman's O falls among the ranks of the Sasquatch- great and magical in theory, but not something that is easily stumbled upon.

Sure the female orgasm is fickle. If you follow these pointers you have the greatest chance of seeing one in the wild, in it's natural habitat. So sit down and listen up. Female Orgasm 101 is in session






#1 - take her off the clock. Like you worry about not lasting long enough she worries about taking too long to reach orgasm, so many women end up faking one or deciding to go without. So stop obsessing over orgasms - your's and her's. Take the pressure off. Relaxation is the single most important factor in bringing a woman to orgasm.

Tell her she has all night. The more you convey a tolerance for a lengthy buildup and an appreciation for her pleasure the more likely she is to unwind and blast off into orbit. It can take up to 40mins (if not more) for a woman to reach orgasm. Going somewhere?

#2- turn her on with your talent. The best sex starts before the clothes come off. Talent - more than rugged good looks or washboard abs - is a powerful aphrodisiac. So, nail that song during karaoke. Make her die laughing during your less than stellar dart game. Yup, humor is a talent too.

#3- when she's naked, speak up. Women worry about how they look. They also worry about how they look down there, which makes it difficult for them to O during oral. Clearly you have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks (and you do, right?) naked, speak up!

#4- learn how she likes to be touched. One thing we love during manual stimulation is a slow buildup. Place the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now, run your ring and middle fingers along her outter lips. Gently graze the skin at first adding pressure as the tension builds. In the beginning she may be too sensitive for direct clitoral stimulation. Give it a few minutes then gently work your way to the hot spot.

#5- learn to sense her orgasm. Ease into oral sex, don't just dive right in. Kiss her inner thighs, the move to her outter lips, eventually moving inside, with firm, broad strokes with your tongue. Watch her hips for a rhythm she likes. Listen to her moans and gasps to tell you you're on the right path.

#6- follow her lead. Once you've reached the point of no return you could climax if a marching band made its way through your bedroom. Your lady, not so much. She'll like hit the off switch if you move or change up midway to orgasm. We love it when you try new things, but once you've found a winner stick with it until she crosses the finish line.

#7- let her finish first. Stalking the tandem orgasm is admirable. However, most women prefer a "ladies first" approach. If you rub the clitoris for a long time, during penetration for example, it can become too sore or desensitized to respond to oral or manual stimulation later. So, satisfy her before intercourse. Bonus: a woman's orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it is often easier to bring her to orgasm during intercourse after she's already had one. How's that sound for an encore?

So there you go. A few tips and tricks to get you started on helping your lady reach orgasm. Believe me, if you put these to practice she will thank you for it later!

xoxo
L

Reasons she has sex with you

Remember when you first discovered sex? Likely somewhere around the age of 7 or so. In your 7-year-old mind you learned your parents had done the dirty twice: once to create you and once to crank out your little sister. Then a few years down the road you learned that propagation is only a small part of sex. In fact it is only one of a host of reasons we humans hook up. One university study showed there are 237 reasons why we hook up - who knew?!

While we know why you, boys, enjoy sex, her reasons often remain slightly more mysterious. Lucky for you I'm here to decode some of that mystery for you! Yes, you can thank me later!

You're a good kisser: So what if you're not a hormonal teenager anymore. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session. In fact, a well executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. Unlike men, we women are less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds simple enough, right? Down boy. Her definition of a great kiss may just be different than your's. Studies show men like wetter kisses with lots of tongue action. Us ladies prefer someone who makes the first move, smells and tastes fresh and caresses her while kissing.

Note from L: I just wanted to say- us ladies love a great make out session. We really, really do. It primes our engines for the main event. Its close, it connects us...and really, is just really great to have a hot make out session with our man. So really, this is one you probably shouldn't skip too often!

It seems like the natural next move in the relationship: You've wooed her. You've wined her and dined her. And still no sex. The missing link? Commitment. Don't panic, commitment doesn't have to mean a ring. Make sure we know you're in it, emotionally, for the long haul.

You caress her: most women like to be touched, gently. Gently glide your fingers over her forearm where there are plenty of pleasure nerves just waiting to be touched. Play with our hair. I for one love the feeling of having my hair played with. Caressing us sends signals of affection and trust to the brain.

You make her feel sexy: Establish your compliments safety zone. Listen to what she says about herself and watch how she reacts when you touch her. This will clue you in to the body parts she is insecure about, and let's you know where to tread lightly. She can easily take a well-meaning compliment and turn it negative. You may say "you have a great, round butt" and she hears fat, not great. When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to more generic compliments: "your butt looks great in those jeans".

Your physical appearance turns her on: most women perfer muscle definition to muscle mass (move over, meatheads). Men with big, bulging muscles can appear threatening to a woman. We also know it takes time to build up those big muscles and that is time you won't be spending with us. We're looking for signs of not only health but of commitment too.

She wants to feel emotionally close or connected: start the foreplay outside the bedroom. Rave about the great donuts at the office today. Sharing something upbeat about your day strengthens your relationship. Talking and listening helps maintain emotional intimacy.

She's caught up in the heat of the moment: even if she rolls over its not too late to heat things up. Sidle up to her, spoon her (without anything poking into her back). Cuddling causes her testosterone to surge. Increased T levels spark a response in her clitoris which triggers arousal. Bonus: women feel more sexually attractive the morning after cuddling. Steamy shower sex, anyone?

She thinks it's fun: first, show her how much fun you can be outside the bedroom. Studies have shown that 25% of women are more likely to find a man attractive if he has a good sense of humor (see! its not as cliche as you think it is) and were then 31% more likely to think of him as a suitable mate.

She needs release or just feels horny: Suggest a horror movie marathon. Being scared is physicologically arousing and in the right company this can turn into sexual arousal. After the movie she may find your glances and touches more erotically charged. Just choose your movies wisely. If she isn't into over-the-top-terror she'll be like me and watch it from under the covers. We went her to be turned on and charged up, not fearing for her life.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder: it would appear the old adage is true. Take that business trip. While you're away her positive feelings of closeness, meaningfulness and appreciation will likely decline. However, upon your return they will return full force and surge to an all-time high. Just make sure you call while you're away to help reduce the chance of the negative feelings sticking around upon your return.

So there you have it. Some of the main reasons we have sex with you. None of it is rocket science. For us sex goes deeper than just the primal need. Yes, we get horny too, but beyond that we need to know you're there for us, and it starts outside the bedroom.

Happy sexing!
xoxo
L

Positions she enjoys

This just in: women like sex. They fantasize about sex just as much, if not more, as their male counterparts. Our fantasies cover the broad spectrum and various levels of kink. They almost always, however, include one of the five most popular positions among most women. The reason being is these positions include a perfect balance between difficulty and maximum pleasure. In other words, with these positions women enjoy loads of pleasure with minimal effort required to pull them off (yes, minimal effort. Really, who wants to have to deal with a flow chart to try to figure out the logistics of some positions? Yeah, I didn't think you would).

Now, don't worry. This isn't to say we don't love some of your favorites as well. We do. Sometimes we're good with acrobatic sex. When it comes down to the nitty gritty of it, there are some positions that just get women more wet than others.

Below is a list of the five most popular positions among women. Take note of them, boys. More importantly, USE THEM.

Private Lap Dance. Her on top. Many women love being on top for one simple reason: it makes her feel like she's in charge. And power is a heady aphrodisiac. Let her climb aboard and ride you off into the sunset. It may be tempting to just sit back and enjoy the ride, however if you want to really rock her world trace her breasts with your fingers or your tongue, trace your fingers down her sides. If she's on top facing you you also have access to a certain other hot spot of our's. Go there. No really, go there.

The comfort zone. aka: missionary. Don't overlook this one. It has potential for sorching hot sex. Why we like it? It feels great, and doesn't require gymnastics skills to pull it off. Take charge: lay her down, spread her legs apart by gently sliding your knee between them, place her wrists above her head and show her what you're made of. We often like displays of dominance in the bedroom (it is quite manly, you know) and this one allows you to be as subtle with it or as overt as you like. Want to take it to another level? Talk dirty. Lean in close and whisper a little something-something in her ear.

Stand at attention. Have her sit on a surface that stands level with your waist, then penetrate her as deeply as possible. The further her legs are spread the better (though remember what we said about acobatics? Yeah, some of us aren't that kind of flexible, so be gentle). Because her parts are now lined up with your parts this makes deep thrusting possible and incredibly easy for you, which also increases her chances of a g-spot O. So, clear a spot on the kitchen counter and get to it! (some men orgasm quite quickly with this one due to the deep thrusting. Don't be afraid to slow down, take a few deep breaths to get yourself under control again. Use this time for some manual stimulation on her)

Spoonful. The spoon makes for fabulous sex. Women like the feeling of her man's chest agaisnt her back and his arms wrapped around her. She also loves the feeling of being penetrated from behind. Why we love this? Because it is comfortable and still allows you to play with our breasts and our clitoris - and honestly most women can't get enough of that.

So, slide in behind her, pull her bottom backward and gently lift her leg up and back over your hip. Having her thighs speparated like this will make her feel delightfully naughty, and she'll probably arch her body to give you more access. Its comfortable and we enjoy it. Expect a great deal of moaning to ensue.

Hot diggity dog. Surprised to see doggy on the list? Many women love it (I'm one of them). In most cases we're wanting more than your average porn-flick style doggy. We want it to be a bit more intimate. Lean forward, whisper in our ear. Reach around and toy with our clit. Switch it up, pull us up into a kneeling position while you thrust. Women love doggy as long as you don't make us feel like objects.

As I mentioned earlier women love sex. We really do. And most of us will like at least one of these ones I just mentioned. Do remember, however, we may not like them all. Follow her cues, she'll pretty quickly tell you what she likes and what she doesn't. She will, however, likely be willing to experiment through them all for the sake of keeping things fresh. We do on occasion like kinky positions but sometimes we just want a man to penetrate us in a way we know will provide us with maximum pleasure. And one of these is sure to do it!

xoxo
L

Curl Her Toes

You're lying in bed after a job well done, thinking you're at the top of your game. You say "this couldn't get any better, could it?" to which she replies "of course not". However the look in her eye says that maybe it could.

Thats the thing about sex. Even when its great, there is always room for improvement - if not for you then for her. She may not say she's feeling like something is missing, however she is likely thinking it.

So, boys, here are a few ideas to help you help her:

Go slow. When women say they want to take things slower, take what you think is slower and multiply it by 10. Women often complain that men move too quickly through the kissing, boob playing, hands in crotch phases. Take more time at each place. Trust me, we want to be teased. We know you want to get to the feature presentation as quickly as possible. On occasion slow things down...waaaaaaay down. We promise it'll be worth your while. This isn't to say we don't want to be grabbed in the hall, thrown up against a wall and done right there. We just don't want it all the time.


Change it up. Don't assume that because something worked last time, or with your last girlfriend, that it will work this time. Variety is the spice of sex. Don't be afraid to try things. Ask her how it feels: faster or slower; softer or harder. No really, ask her. If you ask she will probably tell you.

Porn is for entertainment purposes. So please stop taking tips from porn films (and yes we know you watch it). For women, the seductive period leading up to being in the buff is important, and you just don't get that in porn: woman walks into room, brief kiss, clothes off, now they're doing it (and she's making weird noises and strange pouty faces). Oh, and something else to forget porn ever taught you: forget that tongue flicky thing guys seem to do. We want anything involving your tongue to be long and slow. (you are taking notes here, right? If not, I'll wait until you go get a pen........oh good, you're back.....)

Appreciate her looks. Always verbally appreciate her body at any given opportunity. Women are vain; we want to hear from you how beautiful you think we are.

Foreplay. Its great and most of the time required. But sometimes it isn't needed or wanted. There are times we're primed and ready to go without much kissing and touching from you. Not sure how to tell if more foreplay is needed? Pay attention to her cues. If she's paying more attention to your happy parts than the rest of your body then odds are she's ready to go.

Also, try bringing her to orgasm during foreplay. Intercourse after an orgasm can be incredibly intense as everything is already fired up and highly sensitized. (no really, try this one. Put the time and effort into it, believe me we'll thank you for it later)

Don't assume she'll ask for what she wants. Many woman won't ask for more oral sex, however really want it. If she hasn't asked then go for it. Kiss your way from her neck, down her chest, her thighs then to her girly bits. If she likes it she'll be happy to let you continue. In the unlikely event she doesn't she'll let you know. She may also only want you down there for a short time then its on to something else.

Mirrors. Have sex infront of a (carefully placed) mirror or two. This is much more fun than video taping your session (which unflattering anyway). We know you guys are visual creatures, but you're not the only ones. So, grab that full length mirror and see what happens. I'd bet many women would find watching themselves with their man to be quite the turn on.

Let her drive. Put her in the driver's seat. Generally female-dominant positions make you last longer (bonus for you!) and her climax more quickly. They also usually make it much easier for you to use your hands on parts of her body you can't touch when you're in control. So touch her. Believe me, she'll want you to touch her.

Rev her up in different ways. Foreplay doesn't just happen in bed. It could be the suggestion of a session later in the day and the anticipation that build leading up to it. Be physical without being sexual, like stroking her hair. And women say they can never get enough kissing. So pucker up boys, it'll help fuel the fire. Take her out to dinner, look at her longingly, make her think you're going to take her home and pounce on her as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. Then make her wait. Let the anticipation build.

And really boys how much of a stroke to the ego is to know that you, in all your manly glory, have turned her on, revved her up, and sent her into orbit like never before? I dare you to try it, and tell me you don't feel like you're the king of the world aftewards.

xoxo
-L

Striptease 101

Let me be the first to admit the very thought of a striptease made me want to run for the hills. You want me to do what? Oh, really? I'll get back to you as soon as I stop laughing. However, I bit the bullet and went for it. I can't say it was the most graceful or glamorous tease ever given, but once I got into it it was fun, as was the bumping uglies that took place afterwards!

Any woman can give a great striptease, even if you're body conscious or naturally shy. Surprise him with a striptease. He's sure to remember it. Need a few pointers to get started? Ok, here you go....

What to wear: Show some skin and choose clothing that accentuates your best features. Sexy lingerie, baby dolls, and cute little dresses are all great options. Whatever you decide to wear make sure it's easily removed.

Panties: make sure your undies show off your fabulous tushie and frame your cheeks. We all have underwear that no one else should see, and seducing your man is not the time for the comfy panties. Try on booty shorts, thongs, and g-strings to see what you feel best in and makes your ass look scrumptious.

Shoes: the choice whether or not to wear shoes is a personal one. If you decide to wear them stilettos are a great option as the high heels will make your legs look long, lean and fabulous. Worried about breaking an ankle in stilettos? No worries. Dancing barefoot is sexy too.

Stockings: knee high or thigh high, with or without garters. They'll be a sexy addition to whatever outfit you choose to wear.

Props: Use a rose or a feather to entice him. While you're dancing use the rose or feather to tickle him from his cheek down his chest, down his arm to his fingertips without letting him touch you back. Sit on a chair, spread your feet just wide enough to give him a bit of a peek, sit up tall and dust yourself with the feather while he watches.

Whipped cream, chocolate sauce and any other dessert type thing on your body is a great idea if you want him to be more than a spectator.

Set the stage: find some music that makes you want to move your body, use low indirect lighting - a combo of soft lamp light and candles works well, if your bedroom is lacking ambiance throw some extra richly colored pillows and blankets to your bed.

Get comfortable with dancing: if you can, take time to practice. You don't necessarily have to choreograph a routine, though if you want to go for it, but get used to moving your body to music, find the rhythm and go with it. And get rid of the "I'm not hot enough" thoughts that creep into your head. Because, really, you are TOTALLY hot, so work your hotness!

The most important thing is to be yourself. Have fun. Pick and choose from these ideas and go for it. The fun is knowing you're driving him wild, not necessarily the moves themselves.

When you feel sexy you look sexy. If there was ever a time to ooze sex, this is it! Most importantly have fun! This may well be a high point in your sexual relationship; you may just find you want to do it again and again....... You never know until you try it. Get up there, strut your stuff! What are you waiting for?

xoxo
L

Note from Av: Ladies, trust us on this one. Put your insecurities on the shelf - know that any of your features that you're picking on, he's getting an eyeful of - and loving. No woman is hotter to your man than the one, right in front of him, taking initiative, and showing him how much she wants to have sex with him. Get comfortable with yourself, know that he LOVES it, and let loose! 

What Women Want

....in bed.

I'm sure (or hope?) its common knowledge that, generally, women want more sensual, take-your-time foreplay. We also rather enjoy it when you don't just roll over and fall asleep immediately afterwards. But what about once you've got our motors running? What do we want then? Read on.....

Use Your Tongue Ok, that doesn't necessarily mean we want you to go "down town" (although sometimes that is nice). We like compliments. But be creative. The standard "you're so beautiful" won't always cut it. Be specific. Aim for something along the lines of "your fabulous ass drives me crazy!", and telling us "that feels good" works wonders - the benefit of that little gem is twofold: if you tell us whatever we're doing feels good we're more likely to keep going (bonus for you!) and knowing whatever we're doing is doing it for you turns us on more. You see where this is going?

Make Love to us Head to Toe Sex for us, most times, starts in the mind. We don't go from zero to LIFT OFF as quickly as you can, and do. Light some candles. Play some soft music. Rose petals on the bed. No, not saying this needs to be done every time, but break it out every so often. Let us know you're paying attention to us. Make us feel special and wanted. Once you touch our body make sure your touches and caresses are a full-body affair: don't just focus on boobs or our girly bits. Focus a bit on less obvious areas: gentle kisses on the neck (a sweet spot for many women), trace circles on her lower back. In fact, go for these areas first before the more obvious hot spots.

Man Up Take the lead. There is nothing more masculine than you taking the lead, showing us you have direction and you're going for it. Don't ask questions in bed. Ever. Drop the inhibitions. And stop being gentle. We want to be taken and to be ravished. Dirty talk that would make us blush outside the bedroom will wildly turn us on now. We want to feel you are wild for us because of us. Don't get us wrong, sometimes we want a more gentle session, but sometimes we just like to be taken. Right here, right now. Go.

Just Do It Honestly the size of your organ doesn't matter to us as much as it matters to you. Its more of an issue in your mind - men tend to fret over the size of their stuff. Really, we don't care as much about it as you do. We care more about stiffness and staying power. So, stop worrying that its not big enough and just get to it and get it done!

Chime in - got a suggestion of your own? Share it! Add your own ideas, elaborate, yay or nay - either way, we want to hear from you!

xoxo
-Layla