Remember when you first discovered sex? Likely somewhere around the age of 7 or so. In your 7-year-old mind you learned your parents had done the dirty twice: once to create you and once to crank out your little sister. Then a few years down the road you learned that propagation is only a small part of sex. In fact it is only one of a host of reasons we humans hook up. One university study showed there are 237 reasons why we hook up - who knew?!
While we know why you, boys, enjoy sex, her reasons often remain slightly more mysterious. Lucky for you I'm here to decode some of that mystery for you! Yes, you can thank me later!
You're a good kisser: So what if you're not a hormonal teenager anymore. You're never too old for a steamy makeout session. In fact, a well executed kiss could be your golden ticket to the main event. Unlike men, we women are less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Sounds simple enough, right? Down boy. Her definition of a great kiss may just be different than your's. Studies show men like wetter kisses with lots of tongue action. Us ladies prefer someone who makes the first move, smells and tastes fresh and caresses her while kissing.
Note from L: I just wanted to say- us ladies love a great make out session. We really, really do. It primes our engines for the main event. Its close, it connects us...and really, is just really great to have a hot make out session with our man. So really, this is one you probably shouldn't skip too often!
It seems like the natural next move in the relationship: You've wooed her. You've wined her and dined her. And still no sex. The missing link? Commitment. Don't panic, commitment doesn't have to mean a ring. Make sure we know you're in it, emotionally, for the long haul.
You caress her: most women like to be touched, gently. Gently glide your fingers over her forearm where there are plenty of pleasure nerves just waiting to be touched. Play with our hair. I for one love the feeling of having my hair played with. Caressing us sends signals of affection and trust to the brain.
You make her feel sexy: Establish your compliments safety zone. Listen to what she says about herself and watch how she reacts when you touch her. This will clue you in to the body parts she is insecure about, and let's you know where to tread lightly. She can easily take a well-meaning compliment and turn it negative. You may say "you have a great, round butt" and she hears fat, not great. When it comes to her sensitive spots, stick to more generic compliments: "your butt looks great in those jeans".
Your physical appearance turns her on: most women perfer muscle definition to muscle mass (move over, meatheads). Men with big, bulging muscles can appear threatening to a woman. We also know it takes time to build up those big muscles and that is time you won't be spending with us. We're looking for signs of not only health but of commitment too.
She wants to feel emotionally close or connected: start the foreplay outside the bedroom. Rave about the great donuts at the office today. Sharing something upbeat about your day strengthens your relationship. Talking and listening helps maintain emotional intimacy.
She's caught up in the heat of the moment: even if she rolls over its not too late to heat things up. Sidle up to her, spoon her (without anything poking into her back). Cuddling causes her testosterone to surge. Increased T levels spark a response in her clitoris which triggers arousal. Bonus: women feel more sexually attractive the morning after cuddling. Steamy shower sex, anyone?
She thinks it's fun: first, show her how much fun you can be outside the bedroom. Studies have shown that 25% of women are more likely to find a man attractive if he has a good sense of humor (see! its not as cliche as you think it is) and were then 31% more likely to think of him as a suitable mate.
She needs release or just feels horny: Suggest a horror movie marathon. Being scared is physicologically arousing and in the right company this can turn into sexual arousal. After the movie she may find your glances and touches more erotically charged. Just choose your movies wisely. If she isn't into over-the-top-terror she'll be like me and watch it from under the covers. We went her to be turned on and charged up, not fearing for her life.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: it would appear the old adage is true. Take that business trip. While you're away her positive feelings of closeness, meaningfulness and appreciation will likely decline. However, upon your return they will return full force and surge to an all-time high. Just make sure you call while you're away to help reduce the chance of the negative feelings sticking around upon your return.
So there you have it. Some of the main reasons we have sex with you. None of it is rocket science. For us sex goes deeper than just the primal need. Yes, we get horny too, but beyond that we need to know you're there for us, and it starts outside the bedroom.
Happy sexing!
xoxo
L
No comments:
Post a Comment