The hottest couples don't just have great sex - they have embarassing sex, make-up sex, and wild can't-walk-the-next-day sex. Every kind of sex is crucial for your bond. Yes, even the couldn't-quite-stay-awake-to-finish sex.
Sure you have good sex. Ideally it would be fantastic, and often. But, there is more to a solid sex life than just straight-up sex. A truly amazing sex life encompasses lots of different kinds of sex - maybe ones you wouldn't expect. Afterall, your relationship isn't one not, so why should your sex life?
1) Pushing the Boundaries Sex
There is nothing quite like lying naked next to the man you've loved for a long time, panting and puffing thinking "wow, we've never done that before"
-if you're used to missionary try a new position in a new room in the house
-if you're used to stimulation by body parts it may be time to experiment with toys
2) Maintenance Sex
Let's be honest - sex isn't always going to be an eye glazing, spiritual encounter. Some couples think everything has to feel perfect or you both have to be in a sexual mood to have sex. But if everyone waited for that sex wouldn't happen very often. That's where maintenance sex comes in - where you just do it even if your engine isn't raring for a ride.
Just-for-the-hell-of-it sex is vital for long term relationships because no matter how much you love your family, friends and your kids, no matter how much time you spend with them you won't spend time like this with anyone else. It helps keep your bond unique and strong.
And don't forget how good regular sex is for you: it relieves stress and burns calories. It also keeps your sex engine running. So, having sex even when you're not really in the mood keeps the engine primed and ready for something hotter later.
3)Embarassing Moment Sex
Its bound to happen. One of you lets out an awkward grunt. Your sweat soaked skin slaps together in a cringe inducing fashion. Or your partner pulls or pushes in such away to creat a "scchllluuup". As mortifying as these things can be - even with someone you've been with for a long time - it is a remind that sex is raw: Discovery Channel kind of raw.
Its not supposed to be flawless. Sex is full of sights and smells and sounds. It's natural. Human bodies do funny things sometimes. And that is OK.
And your ability to deal with a red-in-the-face moment -whether you laugh it off or give eachother a sympathetic squeeze - says a lot about your bond with eachother.
4)Vacation Sex
Vacation sex is a vital part of a healthy sex life. On vacation you're at your most carefree which means you can try new things you won't have to be accountable for at home. In other words, have sex on the beach, or in a car.
Often if life in the bedroom is feeling blah it is usually your surroundings that are getting you down, not your partner. So, if you haven't had vacation sex recently, DO IT! You don't necessarily need a plane ticket. Find your way to a downtown hotel and call it a vacation.
5)Slow-road-to-sleep Sex
We all know that in life its the journey that really matters, not the destination. The same applies for sex (in some cases). That means not every sexual encounter should be focused on orgasms. The truth is, not every sexual encounter goes anywhere at all. There are some nights you start out on the journey, you want to keep going but boy-oh-boy sleeps sounds pretty darn good right now. And thats where things peter out. And thats OK.
6) Make Up Sex
Ok, so we all know we're not supposed to go to bed angry. And sometimes you can take that to a different extreme, ensuring that after a fight you go to bed happy, very very happy. Yup, thats right: wild, intense make up sex: one minute you're reeling in anger, the next you're rolling around in wild, passionate love making. Make up sex works because after a fight you're raw, exposed and vulnerable - perfect conditions for soul-to-soul bonding.
7)Comfort Sex
If you're sad, angry, depressed, grieving alone....sex can be the perfect antidote. Why? Because it is the opposite of all those things. It is close and warm, loving and together. And sometimes talking about your problems isn't what you want, but sex is.
The healing act of sex can help people who feel torn apart from eachother during a difficult period. Sex can help restore the intimate relationship you have.
8) Crazy Hang-from-the-chandelier Sex
You know what I'm talking about: wild, sweaty and so good it makes you dizzy sex. No matter how long you've been together you need to have earthshaking sex every so often.
This kind of sex is important on a deeper level: it requires a lot of trust and intimacy to allow your partner to see you in the throes of sexual abandon. And let's not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling!
xoxo
L
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