Kink it up!

Hit a sexual slump? Yeah, it happens to the best of 'em. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, per se. It just means its time to break out of your routine. We women want more than a "wham-bam-thankyou-ma'am" approach to sex. We want excitement, passion, heat and.......kink? Oooooh yes, kink!

Many girls are unsure how to approach the subject, you know, since nice girls aren't supposed to like raw, dirty sex. You'd likely be surprised at how many "good girls" like kinky sex. Thinking it's time to change it up a bit? Suggest it to her. Put the idea out there. Grab the bull by the horns (see, this is that taking the lead thing coming into action again) and suggest it to her. She may be too shy to bring it up herself.

Note from Av: Boys, the proper time to bring these things up is NOT when she's all gross from the gym, covered in baby vomit, or otherwise feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated. Try whispering something hot and sexy in her ear, in the moment...that's hot.

Here are a few things she may be fantasizing about but is too shy to tell you:


Masturbation - its a healthy part of life anyway (c'mon we've all done it once or twice, and those who say they haven't are likely lying (and yes I am aware there are a few, rare exceptions to that rule)) so why not share it with your partner? Put your guard down and let her watch as you get acquainted with yourself. Or you watch as she works magic on herself. That whole voyeurism thing brings a new element of mystique to the bedroom. Bonus: her watching you may give her a few ideas on how to better please you herself, and vice versa.

For a twist, try placing your hand over hers, when she's giving you some manual action - and show her what kind of touch and speed you like. 

S&M - is she a control freak? If she is she may be into some S&M. Be submissive, let her have her way with you. Or flip the switch if she's the control freak and have her be the sub: tie her up, handcuffs....you get the idea. Just don't go gangbusters your first time out of the gate. Ease her into it. Perhaps save the whips for next time. **agree on a code word before you get started. Your code word is her way of saying she's had enough and wishes to stop. Don't push your boundaries, boys.

A good way to get into this - to test her feelings on this - is to gently hold her wrists above her head, the next time you're going at it. While I find it hard to not touch the man I'm with, it's also pretty hot to let him do what he wants with me (and vice versa!) OR - pull out a silk scarf sometime and ask if she's interested in finding out how much fun you could have with it. (wink!)

Toys - Toys can be a fun and exciting way to put some spark back into your bedroom routine. Start with massage oils, maybe some O-enhancing lube, use a vibe on her. Once your both feeling a little more adventurous you can explore the world of dildos and so much more! Be warned: this may just start a sexual frenzy!

If you think she's not masturbating, boys...you're probably wrong. Women do it about half as much as men do...with whatever works. Toys are fabulous in the bedroom, and I bet a bunch of you men would be surprised at how many of your women have one! 

Threesome - if your lady is very open-minded and has a big sense of adventure adding someone to the bedroom might be on her fantasy list. Thats right, a threesome isn't something only guys fantasize about, many women do too. Worried about sharing your lady with another man, or even just having another man in the bed with you? Don't worry, many women fantasize about being with another woman (and I'm willing to bet seeing her with another woman may just appear somewhere on your list of fantasies?). However, before you start compiling a list of possible candidates be warned: a threesome can, in some cases, be not so great for a relationship. So, because we don't want that (we want you to have hot, crazy sex) be sure the two of you discuss it thoroughly beforehand, and set clear boundaries.

Not a freaking chance. Ever. Don't even bring it up. But that's just me...I don't play well with others. ;)

If you've experienced a recent loss of heat in the bedroom kink may just be the way to go. She may not want to engage in the kinkiest of the kinky but a light dose of K may just be enough bring the spark back. So, pick a few that interest you and put the suggestion out there the next time missionary just isn't cutting it.

xoxo
-Layla & Av